Disciplined for being unladylike

[Briannahong]

Hey y’all!

So we’ve been practicing domestic discipline for only a few months. Overall it’s helping our relationship amazingly, but we’ve still got a few issues we’re working through. Early on he established a rulebook. It goes over his expectations of me and the punishments for violations. One of his banned behaviors was “acting unladylike”.
Long story short we were together a few nights ago watching tv after dinner and I...erm....I farted. My husband was not at all happy and disciplined me very hard that night. I guess I’m so used to being around him that I didn’t realize I was acting out of order. He told me that if I “pass gas” in his presence again there would be much more severe consequences. Also, he is going to start weekly maintenance discipline (spankings) as he feels I’ve become too comfortable.
Am I overreacting? I know that he’s the head of the house, and what he says goes. I was just a bit surprised that this escalated so quickly. I love our new lifestyle and want to keep it going!
Any help would be soooo appreciated!

[SurrealSD]

Um. . . . passing gas is a thing every human being does. What does he expect you to do? Go outside?

To me, being punished for something that I didn't know was a rule in the first place would be completely unacceptable. But that's just me.

[Briannahong]

He said that it was an all-encompassing sort of rule. Now I’m not a huge farter (sorry if TMI), so it’s not entirely in my character to do something like that in the first place. He told me it’s a huge turn-off to me as a woman. I don’t have any actual issues with refraining in the future though.

[Briannahong]

Also, in our situation I see where he’s coming from. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the man fart. He’s very polite in this regard. When we were dating and looonnng before we started practicing DD I was pretty free with being gross like that (just how I was raised). Again, it’s not a rule I even have an issue with, I’m just trying to guage the crowd.

[Lauren]

[TheGoodWifeLife]

I have to agree with Surreal here. I do understand being “ladylike”. But, we all have involuntary bodily functions as human beings. One can’t always control what’s happening inside our bodies, actually I don’t think we ever can. I remember after a surgery I had years back, I was in so much misery because I was so constipated. That gets incredibly painful. Dh went out and bought me several different medications from the pharmacy hoping they’d give me some relief. He literally stood outside the bathroom door essentially “cheering me on” lol As completely NOT sexy as things like that are, he showed me so much love in that moment. It would really hurt me if he had gotten upset with me for something I definitely had no control over. Dh has playfully swatted my butt before after I’ve burped outrageously lol, but not at all out of anger or anything. I could see if I was burping the alphabet at a dinner party where he’d probably be upset but it’s not unladylike to have an unplanned sudden burp or fart happen. There’s a children’s book called “Everybody poops” that explains how our bodies work and why it’s completely normal and healthy. Maybe y’all need to sit down and discuss what exactly constitutes unladylike behavior, but also understand that there are times we can’t possibly control things. I’ve worn a skirt or dress and had the wind or one of my kids lift it up unexpectedly. While that’s not exactly “ladylike”, I couldn’t have prevented it either. Now, had I been walking around flashing my panties to people, THAT would be unladylike AND deserving of punishment (not that I’d do that). I think it’s important to consider each situation where a rule has been broken because there can always be an understandable and forgivable reason behind how/why it was broken.

[SurrealSD]

Maybe y’all need to sit down and discuss what exactly constitutes unladylike behavior, but also understand that there are times we can’t possibly control things.

This. Exactly this. It's confusing and erodes trust in the long run if behaviors are only defined as against the rules after they happen. Structure needs to be clear and understood by the submissive partner or they lose trust in their HOH.

[Briannahong]

Ok...full disclosure time. I ripped one,fanned it at him playfully (it stunk), and I’m not a particularly gassy person to begin with. He gets up to go out of the room (out of earshot) to relive himself and I was rather gross about it.
Not trying to demonize him(or make myself like an angel. I’m just curious if this is an obstacle anyone’s ever faced and was telling a funny story

[Briannahong]

Trust me! I’m clear on the rules now I don’t even haves a problem with it lol. He maintains the same (non gassy) standards, otherwise it WOULD be an issue!

[SurrealSD]

Oh well yeah, that's a different story.