Time Limit

Spanking and Domestic Discipline
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DesertRose
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Re: Time Limit

Post by DesertRose » Wed Dec 18, 2019 5:59 pm

Lauren wrote:
Wed Dec 18, 2019 5:15 pm
I asked because for us after about a week it is pointless. It does not have the same effect.
Yes, I agree.
But it also depends on the broken rule itself I guess.
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

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NateG
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Re: Time Limit

Post by NateG » Wed Dec 18, 2019 7:29 pm

Depending on the rule break, I often feel it is pointless after a couple of days also. Things have a much greater effect if taken care of as soon as possible.

Nate

Rand E
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Re: Time Limit

Post by Rand E » Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:01 am

Lauren wrote:
Wed Dec 18, 2019 5:15 pm
I asked because for us after about a week it is pointless. It does not have the same effect.
There is a practical benefit for my wife and me when there is a bit of a delay between rule break and consequences. When we do discipline in the heat of the moment, it's easy to get wrapped up in the emotions, not so easy to fully submit, more inclined to be uncooperative or defiant, as well as more likely to punish in anger. Given some time and cooling off, I think it helps us each get in the right frame of mind to both administer and take our consequences gracefully and cooperatively.

Have you ever found that the situation is a bit too intense for immediate punishment? You may be super-excellent with your submission skills and your HoH unusually judicious and even-tempered. I'm pretty good myself up to a point, but my wife sometimes has trouble with her emotions. I want us both to get in the right frame of mind to do the deed, and sometimes, a bit of breathing room is what we both need.

I can't recall that the delay has ever amounted to more than a week. If a week goes by without consequences, it's usually because we just changed our minds and let it go. So, yes, there is something of a practical time limit. You can probably tell, we're not big sticklers for consistency, but that's just how we are.

Olivia
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Re: Time Limit

Post by Olivia » Thu Dec 19, 2019 6:44 am

Rand E, I'm glad y'all found what works for you!! If you decide to put off punishment for a little while what does that look like?
For example, do y'all carry on as though nothing happened?, is there tension in the air?, are you addressing it to some degree until you're ready to punish or not?
For us, there has been I think only a few times where we needed extra time to process (either he was very upset or I was being defiant) but that just meant I spent like 30 minutes in the corner instead of 5 to 10

Rand E
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Re: Time Limit

Post by Rand E » Thu Dec 19, 2019 11:32 am

Olivia wrote:
Thu Dec 19, 2019 6:44 am
Rand E, I'm glad y'all found what works for you!! If you decide to put off punishment for a little while what does that look like?
For example, do y'all carry on as though nothing happened?, is there tension in the air?, are you addressing it to some degree until you're ready to punish or not?
For us, there has been I think only a few times where we needed extra time to process (either he was very upset or I was being defiant) but that just meant I spent like 30 minutes in the corner instead of 5 to 10
The delay is usually just due to circumstances, as we were discussing earlier.

The deliberate delays are occasions where there is a bit too much emotion going on, especially anger or defiance. In most cases, the interlude before punishment is spent by each of us alone cooling off and getting our heads straight, not carrying on as usual.

Part of the reason, perhaps the main reason, for our DD arrangement is to find an alternative to short tempers, heated arguments, and hurt feelings. My ideal of a spanking session is conducted while we are both cool as a couple of cucumbers. Easier said than done. But that's the goal.

Lauren
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Location: Wisconsin

Re: Time Limit

Post by Lauren » Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:25 pm

Rand E wrote:
Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:01 am
Have you ever found that the situation is a bit too intense for immediate punishment?
Rand E,

To be completely honest, it's been a very long time since we have been able to even attempt immediate punishment. Around 3 years. We have zero privacy. Kids awake, my mom and her husband around. Kids sleeping but parents still in the house. The basement is not finished and sound carries greatly. It is so completely fustrating. When we only had our oldest it was easy. We could do it while she was sleeping or she was a content child and she would play by herself long enough for us to do what we needed to. Our younger two are up my rear end 24/7. Nosey, needy, stage 3 clingers. If we had our own house we would be able to let them cry it out and learn how to deal for 5 minutes. But my mom and her husband both have high anxiety and can't handle them crying. So to answer your question: If the situation was too intense, it was never a problem because Brandon would put me in the corner for 10-15 minutes giving us both time to settle down. Now we never have to worry about it being too intense to discipline because we know it's not going to happen at that minute. If ever.

Rand E
Posts: 374
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Location: Los Angeles

Re: Time Limit

Post by Rand E » Thu Dec 19, 2019 2:34 pm

Lauren wrote:
Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:25 pm
Rand E wrote:
Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:01 am
Have you ever found that the situation is a bit too intense for immediate punishment?
Rand E,

To be completely honest, it's been a very long time since we have been able to even attempt immediate punishment. Around 3 years. We have zero privacy. Kids awake, my mom and her husband around. Kids sleeping but parents still in the house. The basement is not finished and sound carries greatly. It is so completely fustrating. When we only had our oldest it was easy. We could do it while she was sleeping or she was a content child and she would play by herself long enough for us to do what we needed to. Our younger two are up my rear end 24/7. Nosey, needy, stage 3 clingers. If we had our own house we would be able to let them cry it out and learn how to deal for 5 minutes. But my mom and her husband both have high anxiety and can't handle them crying. So to answer your question: If the situation was too intense, it was never a problem because Brandon would put me in the corner for 10-15 minutes giving us both time to settle down. Now we never have to worry about it being too intense to discipline because we know it's not going to happen at that minute. If ever.
Having raised 2 kids, I understand some of the challenges, although you sound like you have an exceptionally difficult situation there. You must have some impressive coping skills to deal with all that and hold it together. I would probably lose my sanity. I wish you well, especially at getting more privacy. It's a precious commodity.

Olivia
Posts: 577
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Time Limit

Post by Olivia » Thu Dec 19, 2019 4:52 pm

Yes! Very difficult situation especially for punishment! I know that Brandon had said that switches are free lol but have y'all thought about getting something quiet like a cane/ stick? That way he could punish you, if needed, after the kids go to bed? Even if the adults are still up y'all could excuse yourselves to the bedroom or wherever?.... It'd be as quiet as you can make it and not obvious like going outside and coming in with a tree branch lol

Lauren
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Location: Wisconsin

Re: Time Limit

Post by Lauren » Thu Dec 19, 2019 6:36 pm

Olivia,

We have 2 issues. The first is that I am a tough cookie. It takes a LONG time when there is spanking involved. It's a process. The second issue is that during the week Brandon actually goes to bed about 1.5 to 2 hours before me. He goes to bed the same time our middle child goes to bed because he has to get up so early in the morning. Our youngest and oldest go to bed about the same time I do.

Olivia
Posts: 577
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Time Limit

Post by Olivia » Thu Dec 19, 2019 7:35 pm

Back to the drawing board!

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