Spanking out of anger

Spanking and Domestic Discipline
Deucecat
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat May 25, 2019 3:46 am

Spanking out of anger

Post by Deucecat » Sat May 25, 2019 4:04 am

Hey everyone. We are not really in a DD relationship as most people on here are but spanking has recently become a large part of our lives. When my wife was angry and/or hurting, sHe would pester me until I snapped. When she did I would spank her. She isn’t enjoying it because she is in pain but it doesn’t stop her from continuing her behaviour. The more she does things to upset me, the harder I spank. It’s gotten to a point where she is in a lot of pain and is scared of me.
Now I revert to spanking everytime things aren’t going the way I want them to. I’m constantly spanking for minor reasons and spanking before I even think about why.
We’ve had instances when I would spank and it had no effect so I would spank again and again until things finally went my way. Now I want to spank harder and longer, hoping that the first time is enough to make things the way I want them.
I’ve tried to stay calm but things escalate and I’m back to hard spanks.
Does anyone have any ideas of how to handle the anger? Or help me know where to spank that won’t cause damage?
I’d honestly prefer to never spank at all. I just feel I have no other option. I don’t want to get to the point where it becomes abuse cause I love her. She can be stubborn and withstand lots of pain, just to prove that what I’m doing won’t work. But later she is hurting and is wondering why I am spanking her so much.
I know she has every right to express her feelings. I feel like I’m so caught up in this new lifestyle that it’s getting out of hand.
Last edited by Deucecat on Sat May 25, 2019 11:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

Evena
Posts: 48
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:25 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Spanking out of anger

Post by Evena » Sat May 25, 2019 5:50 am

Generally speaking the butt ist quite save even for hard discipline. Maybe you should so corner time before a spanking. 15 minutes gives her time to reflect and you time to cool down before you spank her. Could help both of you. And write a list of household rules so that you both know what gets punishment.

Much love

Evena

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DesertRose
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Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 1:34 pm

Re: Spanking out of anger

Post by DesertRose » Sat May 25, 2019 3:55 pm

I think it's good to sit down and talk about your issues and why you had to spank her. Maybe you would come up with more "organized" approach to it. Evena's advice is fantastic. Try corner time just for yourself to calm down before taking action.
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

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NateG
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Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:34 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: Spanking out of anger

Post by NateG » Sun May 26, 2019 1:00 pm

Evena wrote:
Sat May 25, 2019 5:50 am
Generally speaking the butt ist quite save even for hard discipline. Maybe you should so corner time before a spanking. 15 minutes gives her time to reflect and you time to cool down before you spank her. Could help both of you. And write a list of household rules so that you both know what gets punishment.

Much love

Evena
I agree with Evena....good suggestions. Her butt is the safest place for spanking. However, it is often a good idea to have her do some corner time or be sent to the bedroom for 15 to 30 minutes before you come in to give the spanking. It gives her time to reflect on her behavior and actions and it gives you time to be calm and give a proper punishment without so much anger.

A list of basic house rules and expectations should be created with her signing it in acknowledgement that she knows the rules and will accept the consequences for breaking them.

You are the leader of the home and need to be in control of yourself, so don't be spanking in anger. Give yourself time to cool off and then do a proper job spanking her. It should hurt enough that she doesn't want to feel it again very soon.

Nate

Rand E
Posts: 362
Joined: Thu Jul 12, 2018 5:45 pm
Location: Los Angeles

Re: Spanking out of anger

Post by Rand E » Sat Jul 27, 2019 4:01 am

Whether you have a DD style marriage or not, if you're going to be the dom, you need to be the adult - the one with self-control, good judgment, and an even temper. I realize that our spouse's are uniquely able to push our buttons and set us off - it happens to all of us at one time or another. But nothing good can come of it. You won't command any real authority or earn the respect of your spouse by behaving like a short-tempered ogre. Count to 10, give yourself corner time, take a deep breath, meditate, whatever you have to do. Take this advice for what it's worth from another short-tempered guy (me). I know it's not easy, but you have to do it. Seriously.

Goldilocks
Posts: 632
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2017 2:34 pm
Location: Ohio

Re: Spanking out of anger

Post by Goldilocks » Fri Aug 30, 2019 9:48 am

I know I'm late on this, but I do agree with a lot on here. Cornertime is a Great way for you to calm down and for her to reflect on what is about to happen and why.
However, if she isn't willing to comply to getting a spanking, getting her to stand in the corner could he a very difficult and just another fight.

But maybe if you let her know she is getting a spanking regardless if she fights back or not. So she can either stand in the corner and let you calm down, and get a spanking out of love and correction. Or she can get the angry spanking. Either way she is getting a sore bottom. It's her choice.
Loving submissive wife to PapaBear.

Goldilocks
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Location: Ohio

Re: Spanking out of anger

Post by Goldilocks » Fri Aug 30, 2019 10:38 am

I need to say here that I am not condoning beating any one.
There was like a very few times he would tell me to go in the corner, or he could spank me right here and now. I knew if I didn't go to the corner, the spanking was going to be worse than it needed to be. But sometimes (very rarely) I would be stubborn and say no. But because he took a moment of clear thinking to give me a choice, the spanking was still out of anger but he was more in control.

Maybe giving her a choice like that might even give you a small moment of clarity. And if she chose not to go to the corner, you can be a little more in control before you start.
Loving submissive wife to PapaBear.

SweetPea611
Posts: 190
Joined: Tue Oct 01, 2019 12:54 pm
Location: Northern CA

Re: Spanking out of anger

Post by SweetPea611 » Tue Oct 01, 2019 1:09 pm

For me, the effectiveness of a spanking is just as much about the humbling effect as it is the pain. Perhaps making the punishment less impulsive and more ritualistic would help? I’m sometimes crying before I go over my HoH’s knee. I usually stand in the corner before the spanking. If implements are used, I fetch them. I typically pull down my own pants and panties. I place myself over his lap or knee. He’s not angry during these punishments, he’s calm. For some reason, these two factors bring me to contrition much faster than an angry, impulsive spanking. I think it has to do with the care he shows for my well being.

Goldilocks
Posts: 632
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2017 2:34 pm
Location: Ohio

Re: Spanking out of anger

Post by Goldilocks » Tue Oct 01, 2019 6:32 pm

SweetPea611 wrote:
Tue Oct 01, 2019 1:09 pm
For me, the effectiveness of a spanking is just as much about the humbling effect as it is the pain. Perhaps making the punishment less impulsive and more ritualistic would help? I’m sometimes crying before I go over my HoH’s knee. I usually stand in the corner before the spanking. If implements are used, I fetch them. I typically pull down my own pants and panties. I place myself over his lap or knee. He’s not angry during these punishments, he’s calm. For some reason, these two factors bring me to contrition much faster than an angry, impulsive spanking. I think it has to do with the care he shows for my well being.
I like this.
Loving submissive wife to PapaBear.

SweetPea611
Posts: 190
Joined: Tue Oct 01, 2019 12:54 pm
Location: Northern CA

Re: Spanking out of anger

Post by SweetPea611 » Tue Oct 01, 2019 7:05 pm

Goldilocks wrote:
Tue Oct 01, 2019 6:32 pm
SweetPea611 wrote:
Tue Oct 01, 2019 1:09 pm
For me, the effectiveness of a spanking is just as much about the humbling effect as it is the pain. Perhaps making the punishment less impulsive and more ritualistic would help? I’m sometimes crying before I go over my HoH’s knee. I usually stand in the corner before the spanking. If implements are used, I fetch them. I typically pull down my own pants and panties. I place myself over his lap or knee. He’s not angry during these punishments, he’s calm. For some reason, these two factors bring me to contrition much faster than an angry, impulsive spanking. I think it has to do with the care he shows for my well being.
I like this.
Thank you! It works for us.

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