Hi from SC!

Please take your time and introduce yourself to us - why Domestic Discipline, are you married, how your relationship progressed...
Tessa
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2021 9:03 pm

Re: Hi from SC!

Post by Tessa » Mon Jan 04, 2021 8:30 am

Still don’t know how to edit - I meant, “even just those first two or three”. They were so hard and so fast....

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Fran
Posts: 27
Joined: Wed Jun 10, 2020 9:57 pm

Re: Hi from SC!

Post by Fran » Mon Jan 04, 2021 10:17 am

I really feel for you, maybe if you have a chat with him and let him know that it is something you feel you need to help you with the guilt etc that you are feeling but talk about what you both want from it and maybe build the punishments up. I know when I get a good spanking I always need a good warm up by hand first and I know its ultimately the HOH's decision as to what to discipline with but maybe you could start off with a few simpler implements first that you can both cope with and then if once you get going again if he feels the need to go straight for using a paddle or something you might be more ready for it and your bottom a bit more prepared to take something straight off. I hope you can figure something out for you both.

Firmand
Posts: 81
Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2020 11:27 am
Location: UK

Re: Hi from SC!

Post by Firmand » Mon Jan 04, 2021 4:40 pm

Hi Tessa! and welcome, loads of support and answers available on here to help you both.
Forgive my errors...and any and every good thing comes from Him whose loving Almighty hand can guide even me, through His Holy Spirit, and His Son my Saviour Jesus Christ:

"In him was life; and the life was the light of men."(John 1:4)

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NateG
Posts: 929
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:34 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: Hi from SC!

Post by NateG » Mon Jan 04, 2021 6:16 pm

Hi Tessa,

You could just try handing him the Lexan paddle after it arrives. Then while he is still looking a bit stunned or lost, you can open up about how you feel regarding DD and your guilt etc. It is not unusual at all. He needs to know and understand how much you want this and that it will make you happy.

Nate

Tessa
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2021 9:03 pm

Re: Hi from SC!

Post by Tessa » Mon Jan 04, 2021 6:55 pm

NateG wrote:
Mon Jan 04, 2021 6:16 pm
Hi Tessa,

You could just try handing him the Lexan paddle after it arrives. Then while he is still looking a bit stunned or lost, you can open up about how you feel regarding DD and your guilt etc. It is not unusual at all. He needs to know and understand how much you want this and that it will make you happy.

Nate
This is sort of where my head is going. It shipped today...so I still have a few days to mull over how to approach it. Assuming I get the mail before he does, anyway....

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NateG
Posts: 929
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:34 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: Hi from SC!

Post by NateG » Mon Jan 04, 2021 9:22 pm

Tessa,

I really think it would work. Especially as this is not totally something new and unheard of with you and your husband. Even though it has been a long time, he will have some background info already. You just have to convince him that it is something you have wanted and wanted for a long time but couldn't bring yourself to ask him again. He will have to know that this is not a whim on your part. That you have given it a lot of thought and been thinking of it for a long time. He will need to know that you want to be held accountable for your actions and that you are looking to him to love you enough to discipline you and then forgive. I can't imagine him being against it...

Nate

Pink cheeks
Posts: 396
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 12:20 pm
Location: Arizona

Re: Hi from SC!

Post by Pink cheeks » Mon Jan 04, 2021 10:10 pm

I suggest you start a paper journal. Write to him, say all the things you are thinking but can’t quite mange to verbalize.
You may find it makes it easier to actually tel him. And if not you can offer the journal for him to read.
Be honest. Tell all. The best relationships are built on honesty, with honesty comes trust with trust comes the deepest love.

Good luck and welcome

Tessa
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2021 9:03 pm

Re: Hi from SC!

Post by Tessa » Wed Jan 06, 2021 10:13 am

The delivery should be here tomorrow. I’ve been working on what I want to say to him, and maybe I’m taking the coward’s way out, but I think I want to write a letter. Would it be ok to post that here and get some opinions of folks a lot
more experienced than I am?

Lauren
Posts: 1338
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Hi from SC!

Post by Lauren » Wed Jan 06, 2021 12:34 pm

Go for it!!

Tessa
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2021 9:03 pm

Re: Hi from SC!

Post by Tessa » Wed Jan 06, 2021 1:00 pm

Lauren wrote:
Wed Jan 06, 2021 12:34 pm
Go for it!!
Ok, but please give me suggestions for changes.

I bought us something. Me something. Still sort of us something. And I really don’t know how you’re going to feel about it. I’d like you to really listen to me, before you completely negate everything I’m saying, ok? And I’m sorry I can’t seem the find the words - or the courage - to talk to you about this in person.

We’ve talked about this before and for the most part you were so totally against it, so I need to explain my reasoning and hope you’ll understand and maybe agree to give it a try for a bit.

PLEASE OPEN THE BOX BEFORE READING THE NEXT PAGE.

I didn’t buy this for play. I’ve really given some things about me some thought in the last couple of weeks, and I don’t ever want us to go back to where we were last month. Or even in the last year. I have a habit of taking my frustrations with life in general out on you. I too, can get snarky and condescending with you, like I accuse you of being with me. I think we both have a habit of bringing up past wrongs in the middle of an argument and I don’t want to do that any more.

There are things I want to correct about myself, and I’m asking for your help in doing that. I cannot sleep well for the feelings of shame and guilt I have for the things I’ve said to you. For the many times I’ve taken you for granted, or not appreciating what I have in you. In a lot of ways, it also shames me to ask you to consider doing this. I realize that what I’m asking for here is different and I want so badly for you to understand that your using this paddle to the point that I feel the after effects every time I sit down is what I think I need to relieve the things I’m feeling.

I know you’ve looked at some of those pictures online and said “I’m not going to do that to you”, but that’s why I bought this, instead of something heavy and wooden, or brought you something like a bamboo cane or a heavy switch. I’m not interested in having blood dripping down my legs. But I wanted to find something that you might feel more comfortable won’t cause permanent harm, and still produce the results I feel like I need. I also wanted something that we don’t use for play, even when we play hard, because I don’t want to get it mixed up in my head.

If you agree to do this, I want you to understand that I am ok with this, and that I’m asking you to do it. It’s a bottom (and a pretty fleshy one at that 🙄), so it’s not like it can’t take a lot. But I need you to also deliver them slowly so I don’t panic like I did with that huge paddle you made for me. And I promise that if you decide on a specific number that if I honestly can’t take that many I’ll tell you and we can go from there. But I don’t want you to just stop because you think you’re hurting me. We have a safe word and I think it’s important to have, even in a situation like I’m describing. For you, as much as for me.

What I’m hoping you’ll do is agree to use this soon so we can both let go of any past mistakes and move on. I know you probably feel like you already have...but I still worry because things get all screwed up for me. And maybe if you feel like I’ve been truly punished, you’ll forgive my past mistakes and I can forgive myself. And then I hope you’ll use it in the future if you need to. I also promise to come to you if I feel this need, for whatever reason, instead of intentionally pushing you to get what I think I need. Because intentionally pushing you is not conducive to a healthy relationship.

I love you with my entire soul. Despite what I’ve said in the recent past, I never stopped. I just wanted our behavior towards each other to stop.

Would you be willing to give this a try for me?

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