Telling family.

User avatar
NateG
Posts: 898
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:34 pm
Location: Virginia

Telling family.

Post by NateG » Thu Apr 09, 2020 2:32 pm

Hello all,

I recently had a conversation with a DD wife whose husband said he wanted to be open about their lifestyle and just go ahead and tell their adult children about it. The reason being, partially is that one of the kids, 21 yrs old still lives at home. As many of you know, this creates a very difficult issue in regards to fully living our lifestyle at times. So he wanted to just come out with it and make it known so they could continue as they need to.

She was a little freaked out and worried about that. She doesn't want to do that because of possible reactions and the embarrassment. That understandable, no doubt.

I was wondering if any couples on the forum have ever told their immediate family/adult children etc? And what reactions have there been?

I've been on this forum quite a while but don't recall seeing this covered. I may have missed it though.

Also know that we have not told anyone in our family. Only one friend outside of the DD world is aware.

Comments?

Nate

User avatar
Miras
Posts: 807
Joined: Thu May 03, 2018 6:26 am
Location: Prague, Czech Republic

Re: Telling family.

Post by Miras » Thu Apr 09, 2020 3:45 pm

I am curious, what the people have to say in this thread. For me it was interesting experience to even tell relatives and to a girl what DD even is. I can imagine how weird it would have to be to tell your offsprings. Not entirely comparable, but sort of reversal of the usual "coming out" to your parents.
Occasionally friendly Spencerist guy
Faktor IV of MdI - Maghan
Unofficial member of The Wicked Tribe
Putting DD back into BuDDhism

Hunterjumper38
Posts: 163
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2020 9:56 pm
Location: USA

Re: Telling family.

Post by Hunterjumper38 » Thu Apr 09, 2020 4:00 pm

Yikes! I don’t think I would want to venture down that road. My husband and I have discussed that and this is our private business. I do not want anyone knowing in any of our families. I understand it may be difficult to handle discipline when there is another person living in the home, but there are ways around it. I hope he does consider his wife’s feelings because this could be devastating to her. Not to mention how their children would react. Since we live in such a different society now, they may not take it well.

User avatar
NateG
Posts: 898
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:34 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: Telling family.

Post by NateG » Sat Apr 11, 2020 9:29 am

Miras,

I am curious too to see what reactions and experiences people have or had had. Disappointed there have not been more comments. The couple have decided to try and hold off telling their adult children for now, although I know it is frustrating for both of them. I was hoping to be able to share some experiences that others have gone through when they told their family.

Hunterjumper38,
Yes, I totally understand that this is private and personal. It is for us also. But many of us have also expressed on here over the last couple of years how it would be so nice if we could just be open and honest about this instead of hiding it...and having people understand and be respectful. That second part is where the difficulty would most likely be.

It is odd to me in a way thought that it seems okay for people to march in parades dressed in all kinds of S/M garb and wearing feathers and sex toys and other explicit things and that's accepted now. But to admit to those close to you that you live a life of respect and obedience to your spouse, with consequences for mistakes, would seem to be upsetting to others.

Olivia
Posts: 544
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Telling family.

Post by Olivia » Sat Apr 11, 2020 10:57 am

Nate, I think you make a great point!
With that being said, I just don't think it's their kid's responsibility to learn about their parents practice just to make it easier for them...
We've never come out and told anyone but when we lived with my husband's parents they heard some spankings and asked what was going on and fast forward to more recently we had a family member walk into the house while I was being paddled pretty hard... we didn't tell his parents but we're pretty sure they knew what was happening... more recently... we didn't offer any information but were prepared to just be honest if any questions were asked... no questions were asked

Hunterjumper38
Posts: 163
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2020 9:56 pm
Location: USA

Re: Telling family.

Post by Hunterjumper38 » Sat Apr 11, 2020 11:36 am

Nate,
I totally agree with you about the S and M world seeming to be more accepted. As for submitting to your spouse, I have told that to my sister. We are both Christians and she and I both have the same understanding that our husbands are the head of our households in the Christian sense. I told her that I was trying to be more submissive and have him lead our home. She actually was so amazed by that and wished she could be that way. Of course, I didn’t tell her that I get punished for misbehaving. But I do agree that there shouldn’t be an issue with being submissive in a relationship and having a person who has more authority.

User avatar
Beauty
Posts: 502
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2018 10:43 am

Re: Telling family.

Post by Beauty » Sat Apr 11, 2020 6:58 pm

“It is odd to me in a way thought that it seems okay for people to march in parades dressed in all kinds of S/M garb and wearing feathers and sex toys and other explicit things and that's accepted now.”

Nate,

I think a lot of people do not find it acceptable but are over run with media views. I personally do not want to have it thrown at me, but I don’t judge it either. It’s their life and what they choose is right for them. It’s all about tolerance but it does not seem to go two ways. Confusing for sure!


The most I can say is I have accidentally sent a DD article to my brother. I am 99% sure he knows we live this lifestyle. However, he did not ask questions. We are prepared to answer if he chooses to ask at any point. The best advice I can think to give... if an adult child lives with them than they probably know to an extent and choose to ignore. Even our elementary age kids know Daddy’s in charge but not something we will ever tell them about punishment wise (not judging those who do, just a choice we made). When they are adults and if they have questions, we will be honest. Basically my opinion, if they have questions the parents should answer openly and honestly. But not tell them outright/ push them to know....because they may not want to know any of the details and that should be respected.
Happy to be taken in hand by my Beast

Joshua89
Posts: 725
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 3:13 pm

Re: Telling family.

Post by Joshua89 » Sat Apr 11, 2020 7:45 pm

If any friends or family listen to the way my HOH and I speak to each other they will quickly grasp our roles and understand. I wouldnt say we go around gloating about it out loud, but we do not try to hide it from anyone. It is healthy and normal for us, and we have grown stronger as a couple because of our lifestyle.

My HOH does not punish me publicly or anything like that, we just have much different types of showing verbal respect and communication that is not typical in equal role relationships , and the occasional "do we need to go have a conversation about "....." ? Has even been said in front of guests and I do not feel embarrassed, to me it is our personal way of life and has been for 5ish years now. I would probably be stressed trying to act "different" around others rather than what comes naturally.
Submissive ❤ Loving Husband + LovingAndStrict06

Flrswats2
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2020 10:15 am

Re: Telling family.

Post by Flrswats2 » Mon Apr 13, 2020 10:07 am

I wish this wasn’t true. But I would be humiliated if any of my family knew that I was spanked for discipline by my wife. The concept of DD is already pretty misunderstood, but than to also be a man and not the dominant one, I’m not sure this would be understood by family either. Funny enough, we recently lived in condo style living and I didn’t really care when I was spanked in our bedroom. Which was right next to the neighbors bedroom. I’m pretty sure they could hear the paddle landing on my rear. It was fairly loud. But I didn’t really care. I guess letting family know is a different kind of awareness. The neighbors never mentioned anything but if I saw them the day after a spanking they always gave me kind of a smirk.

User avatar
NateG
Posts: 898
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:34 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: Telling family.

Post by NateG » Mon Apr 13, 2020 12:15 pm

Olivia wrote:
Sat Apr 11, 2020 10:57 am
Nate, I think you make a great point!
With that being said, I just don't think it's their kid's responsibility to learn about their parents practice just to make it easier for them...
We've never come out and told anyone but when we lived with my husband's parents they heard some spankings and asked what was going on and fast forward to more recently we had a family member walk into the house while I was being paddled pretty hard... we didn't tell his parents but we're pretty sure they knew what was happening... more recently... we didn't offer any information but were prepared to just be honest if any questions were asked... no questions were asked
Hi Olivia,
Thanks for responding. I agree that if questions were asked then go ahead and tell the truth. I would think also that if family members heard spanking sounds...it would be fairly easy to guess what was happening. We haven't had any accidental witnesses, but in my life experience, people are usually pretty good at knowing what is meant to be private and keep it that way.

Post Reply