I have long had an interest in dd, and felt both turned on by it, and ashamed of that. The few times it came up, the other in our marriage has stated reservations. I brought it up first. I believe we had been married 2 or 3 years. We dabbled in bdsm, but while fun, the reality wasn't as sexy as the fantasy for me.
We were more than 10 years into our marriage before we were both ready to try dd at the same time. We have been easing into it for the past 3 months, and this site has been so helpful. It all came around when I couldn't sleep one night, and was watching tv, and noodling on my phone well past 2am. (A habit Phil04 finds incredibly frustrating because I am exhausted and whiny the next day, and which he has forbade me to indulge in going forward.) I knew the house was a mess, but I was in a cycle of up late, too tired to do much about it the next day. I was frustrated with myself, but no matter how many times I resolved to change, I was stuck in the habit. So I googled "what do I do about a lazy wife?" and stumbled on biblicalgenderroles.com. I have since been forbidden from that site, too, because his views on pornography among other things are garbage in Phil04's opinion. (I agree.) But, his rationale in physical punnishment for adults made sense to me, and helped me to see it as an actual option, that could help, and less a kinky fantasy. As I read more, God worked in my heart to repent of all the ways I have been selfish, especially in our intimate life. I am ashamed to admit I was a strained-patient recipient at best, and a rare giver or intiator. I woke my husband up by initiating intimate acts that he loves, but I didn't relish, giving in a way I hadn't done in so long. After a startled moment, he asked what was going on, and I apologized for being selfish in bed. He made some comment about how my attitude had been so unresponsive and unpleasant toward intimacy, that he didn't even want to persue it, and I blurted out, "maybe you should have put me across your knee, and corrected the bad attitude. You know I like it when you show me who is boss." After a surprised pause, some more discussion, a few "you're serious?" comments, he has taken this on as an almost research project, and is becomming the most lovingly consistent HOH. He is a take charge, don't do anything by halves sort of man anyway, so has taken to this like the proverbial duck to water.
After a period where we kept asking each other are you SURE you're ok with this? And both being afraid to admit we love it for fear the othe didn't and wanted to stop, here we are, loving it. Our intimate life has been resurrected from the dead, and we have moments where there are practically cartoon hearts surrounding our heads.
I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.