New and Bewildered

Please take your time and introduce yourself to us - why Domestic Discipline, are you married, how your relationship progressed...
CassLynn
Posts: 1114
Joined: Fri May 04, 2018 1:05 pm

Re: New and Bewildered

Post by CassLynn » Sun May 13, 2018 9:16 am

I’m glad you’ve got your mental health issues behind you. I struggled with all kinds of therapy and meds for years that didn’t help and I tried hard to get myself better. EMDR is the therapy that finally started working. I don’t think spanking would have made any difference without progress I made from that. I also use something similar to your Stop method—I try to counter ANTs with my own barrage of counter statements. That works often but not always. So far every single time I’ve been unable to fight a trigger or episode on my own a spanking does it. Everything becomes simple and clear to me:everything is ok, I’m ok, I’ll be ok, and I love my husband so much. That’s what I always feel. One time it only lasted ten minutes but K was on it and spanked me again and then I was good for the evening. Feeling that he and I are working together to fight this is so novel after feeling out of control and helpless for so long. It feels like a great mercy that he will provide this intervention for me so I’m not taking it on by myself.

Lavendar
Posts: 67
Joined: Tue May 08, 2018 7:28 pm

Re: New and Bewildered

Post by Lavendar » Sun May 13, 2018 11:42 am

I just looked up EMDR, as I'd never heard of it. I found it fascinating, particularly in regard to PTSD. I'm glad it's working for you.

I get what you mean about being reassured that you don't have to go through this alone. Our support network is crucial to healing. Just knowing someone's there for you makes all the difference in the world.
Lavendar :)

CAW
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:11 pm

Re: New and Bewildered

Post by CAW » Tue May 15, 2018 10:14 am

I wish you women could reach out to my gf. She was having the same issues submitting to me that it sounds like you all had in the beginning.
We are kind of on the outs at the moment but she still communicates with me and loves me so I have hope it’ll all work out.
The DD was good for her and me I think if we’d have started slower and built up we tried to put too many rules in place at once and lost sight of the simple ones

Lavendar
Posts: 67
Joined: Tue May 08, 2018 7:28 pm

Re: New and Bewildered

Post by Lavendar » Tue May 15, 2018 7:03 pm

CAW, I hope it works out for you, as well.

I'd read on so many sites to start slowly. Trouble is, I'm not a start slow kind of person. Learning patience has been an important part of this experience for me. And my husband has been good about slowing it down. We only have one rule right now, and we have only done once per week maintenance in this month, nothing else. We'll step it up as needed as we get our bearings.
Lavendar :)

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