Hello From the Keystone State

Please take your time and introduce yourself to us - why Domestic Discipline, are you married, how your relationship progressed...
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achpcg0215
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2017 7:29 pm

Hello From the Keystone State

Post by achpcg0215 » Wed Dec 13, 2017 7:39 pm

Hey All! Just thought I'd introduce myself. I'm a male in his early twenties from PA. My girlfriend is the same age as me (basically) and we just started incorporating domestic discipline in our relationship. I was doing some research and stumbled across this site and thought I'd make an account to ask for advice/trade stories with people. It's nice to meet you all!

My girlfriend and I aren't married but have been together for 3 years now, living together for about 2 1/2. We both live with my mother as of right now so we can save up money so we can get our own place as soon as possible for obvious reasons. We both have noticed that we can be rather irresponsible at times (as people can be) and were trying to come up with solutions to this problem to better our relationship and we ultimately decided to try out domestic discipline in our relationship. We already have a plan put together and both really want to start incorporating it in our relationship regularly ASAP but because of our living situation we can't follow though with punishments in a timely manner like we know we need to. It's very difficult because of clashing work schedules and not enough privacy. Both of us are very interested to see if this will have a positive effect on our relationship because of all the mixed things that we've read about how spanking as a disciplinary action can effect behavior. A lot of the articles that we have read have only touched on the effect that it has on childhood development so we're very curious if it can have a positive effect on us as young adults. Neither of us grew up in religious households or were spanked as a disciplinary action growing up so we are eager to try it as adults.

I have tried to do as much research as possible on this topic and most of the articles that I have read don't really line up or touch on the dynamic that we are going for in our relationship.

I wanted to ask anyone who would be willing to give input and see if what we want to do will even be able to really work. Neither of us view the other as infallible so it doesn't really make sense to us for only one of us to give and the other to receive the punishment. We believe that each of us are capable of being irresponsible and thus, each should receive a punishment for such actions. We believe that a relationship should be as equal as possible so we wanted to make it that either of us could receive a punishment if we break a rule.

I really just wanted to see if anyone has any input on this dynamic that we are trying to achieve and if it is even possible to make it work. Thanks for your time and any input is much appreciated!

Chelsea12
Posts: 119
Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2017 9:36 am
Location: North West, AR

Re: Hello From the Keystone State

Post by Chelsea12 » Thu Dec 14, 2017 2:08 pm

Hi! Glad you are here!

Have you heard of The Spencer spanking plan? I have only seen a rough overview of the plan because it does not apply to my dynamic but from what I understand it was a pretty complete step by step plan. It was written in 1936 so some things may no longer apply or as with any DD plan you will probably want to customize it to your relationship in some way. My best advice is to take only what "fits" your relationship.

As to DD in regards to your lack of privacy. There are a lot of punishments that are soundless that can be used besides spanking. I am not sure if they are outlined in the Spencer plan or not but I am sure you have seen them in your research. There are also silent spankings which Clint just wrote about which you could consider. I am very new to DD and only now finding my footing so I can not give you any personal reviews about silent spankings as the situation has not come up.

I am always willing to give input on any questions you may have with the caveat that you remember that I am a newbie so that you take my opinions/advice with a grain of salt. That said, I think any system of accountability you guys are able to come up with will greatly help each of you as a person and in doing so improve the relationship.

Good luck and let me know if I can help in some way!
Love & ✨Light

achpcg0215
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2017 7:29 pm

Re: Hello From the Keystone State

Post by achpcg0215 » Thu Dec 14, 2017 6:46 pm

Thank you for your input! I'll definitely have to check out the plan and the silent spanking. I really appreciate the advice!

Carlie
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2017 8:36 am
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee

Re: Hello From the Keystone State

Post by Carlie » Tue Dec 19, 2017 12:19 pm

Hello and welcome,

I'm happy to be one of those you use as asounding board. Feel free to private message me if you want. I thought I offer an opinion on the subject of spanking that you raised, children and adults. I wrote a post herecalled "When you have kids" and mentioned this there. I'm a mother and very commited to domestic discipline, but I do not believe in corporeal punishment for children. I think it only scares and hurts them. They don't integrate lessons from it except through wanting to avoid the behavior in order to avoid the pain. As we females mature we can learn better from corporeal punishment, and need it to break through our emotions so we can grow.

You do have a cxhallenging circumstance but I knew a young couple who lived with her parents awhile and managed to practice domestic discipline by scheduling corporeal punishments. It makes it less spontaneous, but has it's own benefits as well.

~ Carlie
Carlie

Jeremy
Posts: 40
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2017 8:09 pm
Location: Central PA

Re: Hello From the Keystone State

Post by Jeremy » Sat Dec 23, 2017 9:40 am

Welcome. I am also in PA (central PA coal county)

geeman
Posts: 203
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2018 1:32 pm

Re: Hello From the Keystone State

Post by geeman » Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:04 am

Hello you two. Also from PA here. I appreciate the challenges you face and it's encouraging to hear you both wish to have a plan in place to create a more effective relationship. You should be applauded for that.

I can only speak for my situation. My Wife is the HOH in our marriage. I understand you wish to have some shared responsibility and I suppose, in a way, that could be workable. If the relationship surrounded very clearly stated rules, you could schedule time for corporal punishments to be handed out as a means of correction. But I have to be honest and tell you that dynamic would never work for our marriage.

To me, someone must be in charge. There must be a central pillar of order and a superior member in the relationship in a Domestic Discipline situation. Why? Because otherwise, two sides are going to battle over stuff. It is inevitable. If DD is a kink lifestyle, then fine, you can certainly get enjoyment from it - and I have no problem with that. But if DD is a true lifestyle you intend to devote yourselves to, I just think there must a Superior and Inferior in the relationship. And don't take that as someone is better than the other one. That's not what I mean. I mean someone must dictate and enforce the way it's going to be in the relationship. The other party must trust those dictates are being done in the best interests of the relationship.

My Wife and I are both strong people but my Wife is clearly the leader. There was never a question who was going to be in charge when we decided to adopt a permanent Female Led Relationship. Do I have opinions? Yes. Do my opinions matter? Absolutely. But for this to work, we both agreed that at the end of the day, Her word was LAW and was NOT to be questioned. Do I feel I get short changed now and then or didn't get 'my way'? Yes. Of course. Is it tough to sit in my punishment chair and be lectured at length over something I feel wasn't a big infraction? Yep. Do I always feel I always deserved to be put in the Corner? No.

But I made a vow to my wife. I made one on our wedding day and I made a brand new vow the day we signed our FLR contract. I vowed to honor HER. The truth is, the times I feel it's been a little unfair are only here and there. The majority of the time I undergo correction, I deserve it. My job is to honor my wife and when I fail, She has every right to punish me and get me back in line. When I honor Her, She honors me back and all is well.

I don't know if that dynamic could exist if no one was the boss.

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