Greetings from a new Australian man (wife HoH) - My journey so far..

Please take your time and introduce yourself to us - why Domestic Discipline, are you married, how your relationship progressed...
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MyWIfeMyQueen
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue May 12, 2020 7:33 pm

Greetings from a new Australian man (wife HoH) - My journey so far..

Post by MyWIfeMyQueen » Tue Feb 23, 2021 8:37 pm

Hello everyone,
My name is Josh and I'm a 41yo male, whose wife is the Head of Household.
My wife is 26yo, and we have now been married for 3 years.
She first introduced the concept of DD to me around 2 years ago. Just conversationally, by relating to me that a friend of hers used it in her marriage, and that she thought it was quite interesting. Especially in light of how happily married her friend was (and still is). She mentioned it occasionally after that, but only here and there, and not in relation to our marriage.

Around 12 months ago, I came home from work one day during the week, and found her sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me. She had a stack of papers, mostly stuff she had printed out from the internet, and a bunch of stuff she'd written herself.
She asked me to sit down, saying "we need to talk", and so I did. She explained that she had been unhappy with me for some time, and that she was increasingly frustrated that I didn't devote enough time and attention to her. That I was lazy. That I didn't communicate enough. That I worked too much, and that this (among many other things) had all been making her increasingly frustrated and angry for a very long time. My wife explained that she'd spoken to a few of her friends about this, including her friend who had first related her own experiences with DD to her, and how much this had improved her marriage.
We discussed her concerns, and we talked it over. It was a lengthy conversation of course. I did my best to apologise for all my short comings, and to placate her. And to tell her that I would do everything I could to make our marriage work. My wife's main point was that she was tired of being angry, tired of being frustrated, and tired of resenting me. She said that "things need to change, or I'm not sure I want to stay in this marriage".
I was quite shocked and upset, but I think it did make sense deep down, as we'd not really been intimate for months. Any time I tried to be intimate with my wife, I would get the cold shoulder.
My wife told me to read some of the pages she had in front of her. To make a long story short, it was a whole lot of information about Domestic Discipline, different feminist literature, and some essays and the like on how female led relationships can make marriages work a lot better.
I was, and still am, deeply in love with my wife. I adore her. I have ever since we met, and I do now more than ever, especially in light of the extraordinary lengths she went to in order to save and improve our marriage. I do regret that I was so selfish before the introduction of Domestic Discipline in to our marriage, and strive every day to be a good and devoted husband. To please my amazing HoH, and to always try to improve.

After completing all my reading, my wife explained to me that by allowing her to take charge and help me to modify my behaviour, to make our marriage better, I would be showing her how much I loved her. How committed I was to saving our marriage. How sincere I was in wanting to spend the rest of my life together with her. And how much I cared for her physical, spiritual and emotional well being. She asked me if I liked it when she wasn't talking to me. Of course, I said no. She asked if I liked it when she was angry and frustrated with me, or when we argued. Of course I said no. She asked me if I would do anything to save our marriage. I said yes, telling her again how sorry I was for upsetting her. How much I loved her. And that she deserved better.
My wife said that she had been thinking of telling me she wanted to have a trial separation. But that after talking to her friends and thinking it over, she had decided that she was willing to give it another go. Provided I would agree to allowing her to take charge. Even though I didn't really know exactly what she meant, I said yes, that I wanted to stay married to her, and that I would do whatever it took to save our marriage.
My wife had a hand written list prepared, which detailed what she expected of me. It was very long and detailed, ranging from the daily chores she expected of me, like cooking, cleaning, washing and the usual kinds of housework. To her expectation regarding my morning and bedtime routine, my spending habits, my grooming, physical appearance, clothing choices etc..
She explained that she was going to take charge of all these things from now on, and that if I agreed to her requests, then she would be prepared to stay married to me and try to work things out. I agreed, and she explained that when I didn't meet her expectations, rather than her getting angry and frustrated with me (which had led to our current marital problems), that she expected me to agree to her having the right to punish my behaviour via spankings and corporal punishment. I had already read quite a lot of literature she had on the topic. So I understood the reasoning, that it would deal with the problem then and there, put it to bed, and that we could then move past it, instead of there being any lingering resentment. She explained that it wasn't because she wanted to hurt me, or even that she wanted to punish me, but that she wanted my behaviour to improve. So that we could both be happier in our marriage.

After what ended up being a very emotional three or four hour conversation, I did of course agree, and a new phase of our married life commenced, with my beautiful wife as the Head of Household, and with my deferring to her all decision making in all aspects of my life.
Right at the end of this conversation, my wife told me to submit to my first spanking. She said that she had been too angry with me for too long to just let it go. Which she had tried to do. I was very nervous, mostly because I think I wanted her approval, and desperately wanted this to work so that our marriage would get back on the right track. She did, of course, take the lead, and I did as she told me. Probably very awkwardly, as she'd never been at all assertive like this before, and neither had any woman I'd been in a prior relationship with.
My wife had me stand up at the kitchen table, while she remained seated. She beckoned me, so I was standing right in front of Her. She undid my belt, pulled down my jeans and underwear, and told me to lie across her lap. I was so embarrassed I think I was shaking a little. At her instruction, I laid across her lap. I kept sliding off, so she ended up having my legs sandwiched between hers to hold me in place. My feet were on the floor. I was bent over one knee. My hands keeping me steady. The first smack of her hand across my bare bottom was quite a shock and I definitely must have let out a cry or something, because she stopped momentarily and stroked my hair, telling me she loved me and that I was doing the right thing. Soon it would all be over and forgotten. She then started spanking me hard enough to cause me to brace myself against the floor with my hands, as well as her squeezing her legs together to hold me in place. The impact and the stinging was very intense and I distinctly remember being very self conscious at the start. Not only because I was completely naked and exposed from the waist down in a totally asexual situation with my wife for the first time, but because of the involuntary whimpering sounds that I made. I'm not sure how long this went on for, but it was long enough for me to have a very, very sore bottom that felt like it was on fire. She stopped rather suddenly and said her hand was getting sore, and to "hang on a sec". It was a brief reprieve, then the spanking started again.
She had picked up her hairbrush from the kitchen table in front of her. She used that in place of her hand to prevent her hand from getting tired and sore. Suffice to say the hairbrush was far more painful than her hand had been. She spanked me hard and fast with it. o
On my left cheek, my right, across both, and on my thighs. Only a few strokes in to the hairbrush and I had tears streaming down my face. I tried to hide them to start with, but once I started crying hard, there was nothing I could do to suppress it, and my wife didn't stop or say anything. Any feelings of embarrassment left me and I was just in a world of burning buttocks and tears. Sobbing my eyes out. After what really did seem like an eternity, my wife gave my bottom one last, extra hard whack with the hairbrush, and told me to get up. My legs were shaking uncontrollably and I found it difficult to stand, so my wife helped me up. She told me "well done", and had me go and stand in the corner with my hands on my head "to think about the reasons she had to spank me. How I was going to change my behaviour so she didn't have to tire herself out like this all the time, and to meditate on how incredibly lucky I was that she loved me and cared about me enough to help improve me as a man".
The pain on my bottom and thighs really was excruciating, and I cried for a long time. The embarrassment and humiliation from standing there in the corner like that, just compounded the shame I felt for having let my wife down so badly, and I really don't think I'd ever cried so hard before. Later on that night before bed, my wife showed me my bottom in the mirror, and there were very large, dark red and purple welts all over my cheeks, and bruises on my thighs. She said to think of those marks as a "step in the right direction, and a reminder of the rules of our marriage". It was a solid four or five days before I could sit down properly.
That night in bed, my wife and I were affectionate in a way we hadn't been for a very long time, and although my bottom stung and throbbed with pain very, very badly, having her hold me and stroke my hair like that was such a beautiful feeling.

Over the following two weeks, I think I was spanked another eight or nine times by my wife. Other than those occasions though, and especially after the spankings, she was noticeably happier, more loving and affectionate, and we were getting on better than we had in a long time.
After something like 4 months, I had managed to go nearly two weeks without any major infractions. This is when my wife decided to introduce "maintenance spankings" once a week, to make sure that I didn't revert to my old behaviour. This is still our routine, with additional spankings any time I have earned myself a punishment by upsetting or disappointing her. She uses a belt for the maintenance spankings. They are for 30 minutes first thing every Monday morning, and while I do still cry due to the pain, I am grateful for the reminder. Unlike the punishment spankings, after my wife has administered the maintenance spankings, we cuddle.
I'm not sure if this is unusual, or if it's the same for anyone reading this, but having my head cradled in my HoH's lap after these half hour beltings, and having her tell me how well I am doing in my role does bring us so much closer. The emotional bond we now have, and the emotional intimacy we share, especially after the maintenance punishments, really is profound. We have never been closer. Our marriage has never been happier over all. Yes, I still mess up and make mistakes and earn myself severe spankings with some regularity, and I dread the pain, but knowing my wife is doing it to help me, and to help our marriage, just makes me all the more devoted to her. I have never been in a relationship in which someone cared for me so much, or was so willing to go out of their way to help me. I am eternally grateful to her, to Domestic Discipline, and I have never before felt so loved.

I am grateful to be able to share a part of my story with you all, and am very glad to have found this community :)
Thank you!

Emily
Posts: 591
Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2019 3:49 am
Location: UK

Re: Greetings from a new Australian man (wife HoH) - My journey so far..

Post by Emily » Wed Feb 24, 2021 1:54 am

Welcome! :)
Happily married to the most wonderful and loving guy! 💖💖💖

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Miras
Posts: 871
Joined: Thu May 03, 2018 6:26 am
Location: Prague, Czech Republic

Re: Greetings from a new Australian man (wife HoH) - My journey so far..

Post by Miras » Wed Feb 24, 2021 4:04 am

Welcome! You are here for some time, it´s good to see you decided to join the conversation.
Occasionally friendly Spencerist guy
Faktor IV of MdI - Maghan
Unofficial member of The Wicked Tribe
Putting DD back into BuDDhism

Axel
Posts: 89
Joined: Wed Dec 09, 2020 4:12 pm
Location: Sweden

Re: Greetings from a new Australian man (wife HoH) - My journey so far..

Post by Axel » Wed Feb 24, 2021 9:26 am

Welcome! Hope that we'll soon have a name for you too.

Thanks for the story “of your life”. I really appreciated it!
I once had the similar experience, with the reversed roles, and that made me wonder how your wife could be that bold that night?
Surely, she must have had some indications that you were open for it? Had she detected your submissive streak in some other manner?

If a man suggested that to his wife – “cold” so to say – he would probably been laughed at. Or reported to the police…

In my case, we had practiced some form of D/s dynamics before but not the whole DD-package! That why I thought I could suggest that unconventional solution for our marriage.
Axel

MyWIfeMyQueen
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue May 12, 2020 7:33 pm

Re: Greetings from a new Australian man (wife HoH) - My journey so far..

Post by MyWIfeMyQueen » Wed Feb 24, 2021 6:43 pm

Emily wrote:
Wed Feb 24, 2021 1:54 am
Welcome! :)
Thank you very much, your welcome is greatly appreciated :D

MyWIfeMyQueen
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue May 12, 2020 7:33 pm

Re: Greetings from a new Australian man (wife HoH) - My journey so far..

Post by MyWIfeMyQueen » Wed Feb 24, 2021 6:44 pm

Miras wrote:
Wed Feb 24, 2021 4:04 am
Welcome! You are here for some time, it´s good to see you decided to join the conversation.
Thank you. Yes, my log in details were buried deep within my email folders, but I eventually located them and was able to finally introduce myself. :)

MyWIfeMyQueen
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue May 12, 2020 7:33 pm

Re: Greetings from a new Australian man (wife HoH) - My journey so far..

Post by MyWIfeMyQueen » Wed Feb 24, 2021 7:01 pm

Axel wrote:
Wed Feb 24, 2021 9:26 am
Welcome! Hope that we'll soon have a name for you too.

Thanks for the story “of your life”. I really appreciated it!
I once had the similar experience, with the reversed roles, and that made me wonder how your wife could be that bold that night?
Surely, she must have had some indications that you were open for it? Had she detected your submissive streak in some other manner?

If a man suggested that to his wife – “cold” so to say – he would probably been laughed at. Or reported to the police…

In my case, we had practiced some form of D/s dynamics before but not the whole DD-package! That why I thought I could suggest that unconventional solution for our marriage.
Axel
Hi, and thank you for replying.
I think my wife bringing up the topic of DD in previous conversations as pertaining to the relationship dynamic of that of her friends was her way of gauging my reaction to the idea.
She had always been rather forthright in communicating her needs and desires within the context of our marriage, but I clearly had not been sufficiently responsive to her. I am now aware that she had been considering the idea of broaching the subject with me for some time, but it was not until my behaviour had rendered her frustrated to the point of desperation that she sat me down for the chat we had on the night in question. Her list of grievances was far more lengthy and detailed than I have thus far described, as was the list of strict rules she outlined, which now govern out marital dynamic.
Beyond that, I suppose I have always been somewhat submissive in the bedroom with her, so that may have served as another cue for her. It is definitely true that our marriage did drastically and immediately change. Her punishments were very severe right from the outset (in a relative sense, having read a lot of other posts on this forum), and remain so to this day. My wife is very firm but fair, and I defer to her in all tings now, and our marriage has never been better! :D

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