I'm new to the forum, new to DD and an HoH happily married to my ScottishHusband. I may have more to say later, but for now I am either inclined to write too much or not enough.
Update: I eventually wrote more in the reply section.
Hello
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SheWhoMustBeObeyed
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2020 1:45 am
Hello
Last edited by SheWhoMustBeObeyed on Sun Dec 20, 2020 9:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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ScottishHusband
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2020 7:18 am
- Location: British Columbia, Canada
Re: Hello
Hi SheWhoMustBeObeyed!
Welcome to the forum. I hope you will contribute more in the future.
Until then ...
best wishes,
Jim
Welcome to the forum. I hope you will contribute more in the future.
Until then ...best wishes,
Jim
I deserve what I get and I get what I deserve.
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SheWhoMustBeObeyed
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2020 1:45 am
Re: Hello
I've only ingested half a mug of coffee and neither my brain nor my eyeballs are fully operating. Yes, you are correct to assume I am not young. I am a retired school teacher in a second marriage much happier than the first one. I had a controlling and manipulative spouse, critical and perpetually disappointed in me. Some of the behaviour I read here described by TiH wives reminds me too much of that former situation. In fact, I often wished this former spouse had actually physically abused me because it would have been something I understood more clearly than emotional abuse and I would have left sooner. With this kind of background I was initially horrified when my second and beloved husband expressed an interest in DD. I could never subject someone I love to behaviour I loathe. BUT I love him enough to have looked into what DD actually is and eventually I saw how I could not only embrace it but could also benefit and grow personally from it. Having raised and taught children, I know quite well how to be a disciplinarian, though I had never employed spanking. I am emphatically against it. I am also a very nurturing, gentle, and sometimes even passive person and I anticipate DD actually helping me to become more assertive, express my wants and needs, and become better at saying 'no' in my personal life. In many ways this is the exact opposite of CDD. My expectations are quite specific to keeping our home tidy and clean. I've got no desire to dictate how my husband behaves publicly and my definition of a good relationship means nobody is ever disrespectful or needing constant reminders to be considerate. He wants and needs some structure, accountability and clear expectations. I use praise as well as consequences and have become comfortable with the fact that he wants the consequences to sometimes be a spanking. I do not want the burden of having to 'manage' him and we are equal partners in all ways.