Introduction

[Pink cheeks]

And the eyes struggle not to roll.

It seems like you're well recovered from our chat last Friday, aren't you?
That is the type of attitude I'm talking about, one of them at least. See you in a bit.

Yikes!

[Kept-in-line]

And the eyes struggle not to roll.

Ah, this is exactly what I was talking about. I feel you so bad.

[AWE_1993]

Ah, this is exactly what I was talking about. I feel you so bad.

Right?

[Kept-in-line]

Ah, this is exactly what I was talking about. I feel you so bad.

Right?

Hope you didn’t get in trouble. Your comment was so true, and fun

And I wish you good luck with this weekend’s decision. I hope you’ll come to something you feel content with.

[leenicolelinn]

LOL,,,,I have had my share of 'eye roll' swats!! LOL, Be careful girl, I don't think Sarge is messing around!

[Paul_PWE]

Hope you didn’t get in trouble. Your comment was so true, and fun

And I wish you good luck with this weekend’s decision. I hope you’ll come to something you feel content with.

Don't worry she didn't, I find it funny as well, if a little too sassy for my taste. Thank you, I'm sure Alice will come around.

LOL,,,,I have had my share of 'eye roll' swats!! LOL, Be careful girl, I don't think Sarge is messing around!

Unfortunately Alice doesn't agree to warning swats or even those little reminder swats to keep her in place but she's definitely making marks on a scoreboard when she does those little things.

[Kept-in-line]

Hope you didn’t get in trouble. Your comment was so true, and fun

And I wish you good luck with this weekend’s decision. I hope you’ll come to something you feel content with.

Don't worry she didn't, I find it funny as well, if a little too sassy for my taste. Thank you, I'm sure Alice will come around.

I’m glad you do. You’re wife seems amazing.

It is clear that you two love each other a lot.

I hope I’m not stepping out of my place, but just a gentle advice from someone who has been in Alice’s shoes. It is so hard to agree to this. Especially when you don’t really believe in it. I do this, but for my husband.

But even now after two years I catch myself thinking “why do I let him do this when this isn’t what I want?”. The answer is my love for him. But when you’re not naturally inclined for this, it is sometimes hard to keep the sass in. Luckily most of the time he does show me that he is such a worthy man.

He desperately wants me to want this to. I don’t, and I don’t know if I ever will.

Oh! Here I go ranting again. Please ignore this if you feel I overstepped. I wish you both lots of luck no matter what Decision Alice comes to.

[BillW]

On a transactional analytic basis, a stitch in time saves nine.

But until you get your power and control dynamic settled, that's irrelevant information.

From an outsider's perspective (and possibly as unwelcome as most such are) (although you're pretty much soliciting them), you either want him in control and leading you, or you don't because you don't like what that can entail. Halfway arrangements where that's concerned strike me like saying you can have all the ice cream you want as long as you don't swallow any.

But that's me, and you're you. End transmission.

[Paul_PWE]

Well Mrs Kept-in-line, firstly you don't need to think you're overstepping, if something is publicly shared then this very same thing must be prepared for responses of any kind.

I shall say that your worries are valid and understandable, I see all that Alice is giving from herself, body and soul, to please me and show me how much she loves me, I also know none of it is easy, especially in the society we live in. And yet, one thing must be noted above it all, CONSENT, I would never raise a hand to Alice without her consent and by this I mean the numerous clear headed conversations we've had, not "no, please, come on I won't do it again" when she's about lo lay over my knee or hand me her electronics.

Let me share an episode that happened a couple years ago when we moved in to our forever home, Alice had had a bad anemia crisis previously and was still recovering from it, I had told her to leave the heavy boxes to me to take them upstairs later, I got home early from work and saw her grabbing one of the boxes, out of reflex I swatted her hand grabbed and gave her a few smacks saying how I had already told her not to do that, absolutely wrong I know, but it was a way of stopping her right away, I apologized and thought she was going start yelling at me or call the police, but she just got angry, huffed, glared and walked away, then she spent a few days without talking to me but you know what? She did not touch any of the boxes again, this was a one time episode and when I suggested DD to her I had this in mind.

On that note I must agree with Bill, this is not like eating vegetables because you have to even though you don't want it. This is a situation where you are not obliged to anything and if it makes you happy to see your husband happy then you want it and you'll do it on free will even if the punishments are a downside for you, that is the merit of sacrifice "doing something of free will and happily even when that thing is difficult or might hurt". The ones up here in control have a great responsibility, which is to take care of it all and that is not easy as well, our mistakes don't go away over a knee, everyone in this sacrifices something in order to keep a peaceful and healthy environment in the home. Don't get me wrong, I can tell Alice thinks like you and I've read all she's been posting here, she hasn't said she's a team manager at her job, she enjoys giving orders as well but she takes her job very seriously, she's a natural leader, I see that and I am proud of that, it doesn't means that leaders don't have to follow and I know she doesn't mind not being a leader at home, she's lived alone for too long leading herself, it's about time I take that off of her shoulders, the sass can be trained out of someone I saw it happen to many of my mates when I was just a recruit. And as much as you girls do this for us when we requested it, we requested it because we do this for you just like when we propose marriage, why would someone want to hurt their partner in life? to quote your very own words "The answer is my love for her".

There you have it a long rant for you too.

[Kept-in-line]

Well Mrs Kept-in-line, firstly you don't need to think you're overstepping, if something is publicly shared then this very same thing must be prepared for responses of any kind.

I shall say that your worries are valid and understandable, I see all that Alice is giving from herself, body and soul, to please me and show me how much she loves me, I also know none of it is easy, especially in the society we live in. And yet, one thing must be noted above it all, CONSENT, I would never raise a hand to Alice without her consent and by this I mean the numerous clear headed conversations we've had, not "no, please, come on I won't do it again" when she's about lo lay over my knee or hand me her electronics.

Let me share an episode that happened a couple years ago when we moved in to our forever home, Alice had had a bad anemia crisis previously and was still recovering from it, I had told her to leave the heavy boxes to me to take them upstairs later, I got home early from work and saw her grabbing one of the boxes, out of reflex I swatted her hand grabbed and gave her a few smacks saying how I had already told her not to do that, absolutely wrong I know, but it was a way of stopping her right away, I apologized and thought she was going start yelling at me or call the police, but she just got angry, huffed, glared and walked away, then she spent a few days without talking to me but you know what? She did not touch any of the boxes again, this was a one time episode and when I suggested DD to her I had this in mind.

On that note I must agree with Bill, this is not like eating vegetables because you have to even though you don't want it. This is a situation where you are not obliged to anything and if it makes you happy to see your husband happy then you want it and you'll do it on free will even if the punishments are a downside for you, that is the merit of sacrifice "doing something of free will and happily even when that thing is difficult or might hurt". The ones up here in control have a great responsibility, which is to take care of it all and that is not easy as well, our mistakes don't go away over a knee, everyone in this sacrifices something in order to keep a peaceful and healthy environment in the home. Don't get me wrong, I can tell Alice thinks like you and I've read all she's been posting here, she hasn't said she's a team manager at her job, she enjoys giving orders as well but she takes her job very seriously, she's a natural leader, I see that and I am proud of that, it doesn't means that leaders don't have to follow and I know she doesn't mind not being a leader at home, she's lived alone for too long leading herself, it's about time I take that off of her shoulders, the sass can be trained out of someone I saw it happen to many of my mates when I was just a recruit. And as much as you girls do this for us when we requested it, we requested it because we do this for you just like when we propose marriage, why would someone want to hurt their partner in life? to quote your very own words "The answer is my love for her".

There you have it a long rant for you too.

Thank you for that. Yes, I agree with a lot of what is said.
I know my husband does this for me in his head, and I do it for him.

We have a very happy marriage. Maybe DD is part of it. We don’t fight anymore, because he won’t fight back. He doesn’t have to. What gets me most in trouble is my snark when I am mad. And that has gotten better, but I’ve still got ways to go.

What I meant is it is important to see how big a sacrifice this is.
I know there’s a lot of responsibility in you. And in my husband. But you two wanted this. My husband is also very clear that his consequences for stepping out of line is way harder than being taken over the knee. He says he needs to behave even better, he is in charge.

When that is said I hope there is no doubt that I have consented. Otherwise there is a abuse. So I know that I chose this. And I am very glad to here that you also are very clear about that.

I don’t like being punished. Hate it in fact. But I do love what this lifestyle does for my husband. He has flourished. He is even more loving than ever. He feels at peace in our marriage in a way that I don’t think he would without. He knows he’s in charge and that I trust him with all.