New here

[Kept-in-line]

Hi all

I am new to this site. My husband and I practice DD.
I’m 23 and he is 35. We’ve been married for 2 years.

I’ve been lurking for a long while and just now got the courage to sign up.

It was my husband who wanted this lifestyle. It was clear from the start that he was very dominant, but I was still very surprised when he suggested this.

I’m looking forward to getting to know you guys. There’s nowhere in real life I can speak about this.

[Emily]

Welcome!

[JackOfHearts]

Hello and welcome!

Would you like to say, how did you start with DD after he introduced it?

[Kept-in-line]

Welcome!

Thank you

Hello and welcome!

Would you like to say, how did you start with DD after he introduced it?

I was very surprised when he suggested it. I knew nothing of this lifestyle and took time thinking. I apologize, if this answer becomes long.

He brought this up along with his proposal. Before that he had made hints, “I’d never let you get a way with that”, “oh, I should spank you for that”. He always said he liked traditional gender roles.

I am generally a control freak and someone who always does what is expected of me, so I didn’t think I’d be in trouble much at all. He said he didn’t expect to have to punish me for not keeping the house in order, going to work on time, doing my exercise because he knew I always do that anyway.
But, if I ever did slip on these things he’d have no trouble taking charge.

But, he made clear that behaviour when angry and stressed would be regulated strictly because that is my main problem area. So no surprise, that’s how I earned my first punishment.

During a discussion I got visibly frustrated and raised my voice, and was a bit sarcastic. He gave me a look, the look I call it, and I asked him “what?!”. He said, that I had to calm down, or he would have to punish me. Well, not proud of this but I had a mix of not quite believing it, and thinking “if he’s for real I might as well find out how this will go down”. So I didn’t stop, I got worse. He didn’t hesitate, walked me up to the spare bedroom and gave me a firm spanking I’ll never forget.

This didn’t go well, I didn’t react well. I actually left him after.
But we did find it back together. And we worked up to where we are now. Slowly. With warnings before punishment we managed to build up.

[JackOfHearts]

Thank you for the long answer, very interesting for me because I’m since some time now trying to introduce DD with my girlfriend, with ups and downs. If you’re interested you can have a look into my journal. There are not so many couples where the heading partner introduced the lifestyle and from the limited number of cases I’m aware of we struggle for some time.

It’s easy to say but I can imagine that taking a punishment is a strong or even extreme experience. Which is very hard to process when it’s brought to you by someone else. Even if you agree to the lifestyle, still it’s different to agree to something or to ask for it actively. I can imagine that when the spanked part introduced it they have less resistance because they have brought it on themselves principally.

Would you like to elaborate, how did you work up slowly? Was it just to use warnings or something else you did?

[AWE_1993]

Hi, welcome!

[Olivia]

Welcome!!

[Kept-in-line]

Thank you for the long answer, very interesting for me because I’m since some time now trying to introduce DD with my girlfriend, with ups and downs. If you’re interested you can have a look into my journal. There are not so many couples where the heading partner introduced the lifestyle and from the limited number of cases I’m aware of we struggle for some time.

It’s easy to say but I can imagine that taking a punishment is a strong or even extreme experience. Which is very hard to process when it’s brought to you by someone else. Even if you agree to the lifestyle, still it’s different to agree to something or to ask for it actively. I can imagine that when the spanked part introduced it they have less resistance because they have brought it on themselves principally.

Would you like to elaborate, how did you work up slowly? Was it just to use warnings or something else you did?

Yeah, nowadays I guess many men has a hard time claiming this role. It’s not very accepted in society. Well, to be honest I still wish we didn’t do this. I’m still not loving or liking this lifestyle. What I like is that it brings him so much happiness for us to have this dynamic.

Warnings was one thing. But communication was the most important. And we did discuss what I could live with and not. He was very clear on expectations. There is no doubt with him.

And he made a promise that he would show himself worthy, and had already. He admits to own shortcomings. He is the one that has the final say in our home. But he has shown me he won’t abuse that. I trust him.

Our main problem is that I can’t tackle being comforted when in pain, and when a spanking is done he wants to give aftercare. He felt awful that I pulled away after. At one point he thought it was disrespectful and that I hadn’t learned my lesson when I denied aftercare. He pulled me back over the lap and gave me a longer and harder spanking and finished off with a hard belting. I have never before or after been punished that hard.
That caused a lot of damage to us. I got afraid and felt I couldn’t deal with this.

But our love is so strong. We went back to communication. He now understands that i can’t always be held/hugged while I’m still in pain, so he always asks me if I am ready for bonding again, or if I need time. This is hard for him, and he hates the wait when I need time. But he has accepted that it is the only way it can work.

The first spanking after that incident was hard, emotionally. But little by little we have got through. I hate it, but I love what it gives him.

Luckily I have learnt to behave better, so it is not often I need a punishment spanking. I hate them, and I am glad every week I manage to go without.

I read your journal. Very interesting. It must be hard for you two, when she is agreeing, but with reservations, it must be hard to find a middle ground.

I can’t speak as an expert, because well I still struggle. But what helped me the most was how clear and fair he was. He doesn’t punish unfairly, and I know what he demands of me. He has shown me that he is worthy of my respect, devolution and submission.

Are you religious? I can’t remember if I read that.

My husband has also focused on the bibles passage of the wife should submit to a husband. But he says and shows that it is equally important to follow the part where it says that husband should love his wife as Christ loved the church. This shows, he isn’t just on a power trip.

Oh my. I’m a talker, I’m sorry if this is too long and rambling.

[Kept-in-line]

Hi, welcome!

Thank you

Welcome!!

Thank you

[Frenchie]

Hi, welcome!