New here

Please take your time and introduce yourself to us - why Domestic Discipline, are you married, how your relationship progressed...
Kept-in-line
Posts: 65
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2020 12:09 am

Re: New here

Post by Kept-in-line » Mon Oct 26, 2020 3:07 pm

mimi9khalid wrote:
Mon Oct 26, 2020 3:02 pm
Kept-in-line wrote:
Mon Oct 26, 2020 1:59 pm
mimi9khalid wrote:
Mon Oct 26, 2020 1:51 pm
Welcome! How did you feel when your husband introduced this idea?
Oh! My message got deleted.

I had conflicted feelings. He had always been a take charge kind of guy, and I loved that.
But this scared me a bit, made me nervous but also curious. And, I loved him. I trusted him. I wanted to make him happy. We talked some and I gave it a try.
I understand. For us it came very naturally, so I’m curious about relationships where it didn’t. I’m glad that you can trust him and that it works for you :)
Thank you 😊
I read your posts. Did you two talk about this beforehand? Did you want this, or is it just how things are?

In a way it works. I wish I didn’t have to get punished, I hate that, but we are happy together.

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mimi9khalid
Posts: 40
Joined: Tue Oct 13, 2020 1:48 pm

Re: New here

Post by mimi9khalid » Mon Oct 26, 2020 3:40 pm

Kept-in-line wrote:
Mon Oct 26, 2020 3:07 pm
mimi9khalid wrote:
Mon Oct 26, 2020 3:02 pm
Kept-in-line wrote:
Mon Oct 26, 2020 1:59 pm


Oh! My message got deleted.

I had conflicted feelings. He had always been a take charge kind of guy, and I loved that.
But this scared me a bit, made me nervous but also curious. And, I loved him. I trusted him. I wanted to make him happy. We talked some and I gave it a try.
I understand. For us it came very naturally, so I’m curious about relationships where it didn’t. I’m glad that you can trust him and that it works for you :)
Thank you 😊
I read your posts. Did you two talk about this beforehand? Did you want this, or is it just how things are?

In a way it works. I wish I didn’t have to get punished, I hate that, but we are happy together.

You’re welcome! We talked about it a little, but I let my husband take charge. I do want it, like I’ve said in other places it helps me stay on track :)

I also wish I didn’t have to get punished, but this encourages me to behave!
Mira from Palestine 🇵🇸 | Happily married 💍

Jacob HF
Posts: 156
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2020 10:53 am
Location: Sacramento, CA

Re: New here

Post by Jacob HF » Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:17 pm

Kept-in-line wrote:
Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:04 am
I want to find things in the Bible that confirms the husbands right to spank, but have struggled. I submit to him, and find comfort in that the Bible says I should. And I have so far found some comfort in that a part of that submitting is submitting to his wish for us to have this lifestyle. Does it make sense?
There is nothing in the Bible about DD directly, but there is some stuff around the topic.

One example is on corporal punishment in general.
Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools.

-Proverbs 19:29
There is a command to husbands not to be harsh, suggesting that they otherwise might.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

-Colossians 3:19
And then, of course, there is the passages about submission
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

-Ephesians 5:24

...whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth...

-Hebrews 12:6
After 20 years I have concluded that the Bible permits, but doesn't require, a loving consensual DD relationship.

--Jacob

Kept-in-line
Posts: 65
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2020 12:09 am

Re: New here

Post by Kept-in-line » Tue Oct 27, 2020 1:17 am

Jacob HF wrote:
Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:17 pm
Kept-in-line wrote:
Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:04 am
I want to find things in the Bible that confirms the husbands right to spank, but have struggled. I submit to him, and find comfort in that the Bible says I should. And I have so far found some comfort in that a part of that submitting is submitting to his wish for us to have this lifestyle. Does it make sense?
There is nothing in the Bible about DD directly, but there is some stuff around the topic.

One example is on corporal punishment in general.
Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools.

-Proverbs 19:29
There is a command to husbands not to be harsh, suggesting that they otherwise might.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

-Colossians 3:19
And then, of course, there is the passages about submission
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

-Ephesians 5:24

...whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth...

-Hebrews 12:6
After 20 years I have concluded that the Bible permits, but doesn't require, a loving consensual DD relationship.

--Jacob
Wow - thank you, Jakob. That was very enlightening. I’ve never thought about it that way.

Kept-in-line
Posts: 65
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2020 12:09 am

Re: New here

Post by Kept-in-line » Tue Oct 27, 2020 1:44 am

Jacob HF wrote:
Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:17 pm
Kept-in-line wrote:
Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:04 am
I want to find things in the Bible that confirms the husbands right to spank, but have struggled. I submit to him, and find comfort in that the Bible says I should. And I have so far found some comfort in that a part of that submitting is submitting to his wish for us to have this lifestyle. Does it make sense?
There is nothing in the Bible about DD directly, but there is some stuff around the topic.

One example is on corporal punishment in general.
Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools.

-Proverbs 19:29
There is a command to husbands not to be harsh, suggesting that they otherwise might.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

-Colossians 3:19
And then, of course, there is the passages about submission
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

-Ephesians 5:24

...whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth...

-Hebrews 12:6
After 20 years I have concluded that the Bible permits, but doesn't require, a loving consensual DD relationship.

--Jacob
I’m sorry for replying twice, but I have this some more thought. For me I’ve found comfort in knowing this is what the Bible says when it comes to submission. Even when I feel it’s “unfair”. But I haven’t been able to see it this way with him punishing me.

I’ve read Ephesians before, but now when you quoted it I felt in a different light. “In every thing”. Maybe that means that if the husband decides they should live this lifestyle, then the wife should submit to this, regardless of her own wants. But obviously still in a loving way. What do you think? I’m I far fetch now?

leenicolelinn
Posts: 282
Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:29 am
Location: Southern Ohio

Re: New here

Post by leenicolelinn » Tue Oct 27, 2020 6:22 am

[quote=Kept-in-line post_id=25730 time=1603706656 user_id=18
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.


I’ve read Ephesians before, but now when you quoted it I felt in a different light. “In every thing”. Maybe that means that if the husband decides they should live this lifestyle, then the wife should submit to this, regardless of her own wants. But obviously still in a loving way. What do you think? I’m I far fetch now?
That is exactly what it means. Wives are to submit and be obedient in all things,.......one exception. If your husband asks you to sin. Husbands and wives are both under God the Father, husbands are right under God and wives are under their husbands. Think of a military chain of command. If your husband asks you to sin he will be accountable to God for that as well as you. Submitting to your husband is Gods commandment to wives, it is not an option. Unfortunately when we/wives do not obey our husbands we are sinning.

Jacob is correct, nothing in the bible that has a husband spanking his wife. There is a lot of implications that can very easily lead the reader to conclude that a husband is the head of his family and corporal punishment is mentioned multiple times and is actually connected to love.

God disciplines those he loves, the marriage is a snapshot of the relationship of God and the church/bride. Discipline is not joyful at the time but results in peace afterwards.
The wife who is disrespectful may experience severe consequences. These are just parts of versus that popped into my head.

I have done my own study on biblical submission to my husband and to God. There are many good resources. Do your own study, get in the Word and pray, ask God what he wants from you as a wife.

I always have to remember that we are sinners and not perfect. I can beat myself up sometimes because I am not miss perfect and June cleverish. I do make headway in my journey as a submissive biblical wife but I mess up big time occasionally. I thank God that I have a husband that is a natural leader and won't hesitate to discipline me when I am out of line. Oh and that reminds me of another verse....... Ephesians. Husband love your wives,..........that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water. I have read some studies that say this means "to discipline".

But don't take my word for it. That was my studies. Please look these up on your own and know what the Father is putting on your heart.

Nic
Learning sweet submission and respect through my Heavenly Father and my HOH Husband.

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DesertRose
Posts: 653
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 1:34 pm

Re: New here

Post by DesertRose » Tue Oct 27, 2020 4:30 pm

I'm Muslim, and in Islam we believe also that the wife should obey her husband as long as he doesn't command her to disobey God.

Good wives would benefit from a loving discipline. But if a wife is not responding well to discipline, forcing it on her would only create more damage in the marriage.
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

Jacob HF
Posts: 156
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2020 10:53 am
Location: Sacramento, CA

Re: New here

Post by Jacob HF » Wed Oct 28, 2020 12:44 am

Kept-in-line wrote:
Tue Oct 27, 2020 1:44 am
I’ve read Ephesians before, but now when you quoted it I felt in a different light. “In every thing”. Maybe that means that if the husband decides they should live this lifestyle, then the wife should submit to this, regardless of her own wants. But obviously still in a loving way. What do you think? I’m I far fetch now?
I sort of agree with that.

There is another issue at play though. As I said above I the Bible permits but doesn't mandate a husband to use corporal punishment. Therefore the scripture applies which requires us to follow the civil law.

In most jurisdictions non-consensual DD is illegal. God's word doesn't permit us to break the law unless by keeping it we would break his commandments.

So even if the Bible might mandate a woman to submit even if she doesn't want to, it doesn't allow a man to break the civil law to impose this if his wife doesn't consent to it.

Also, I feel the need to mention that this forum officially (see rule 8) only supports consensual DD.

--Jacob

Kept-in-line
Posts: 65
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2020 12:09 am

Re: New here

Post by Kept-in-line » Wed Oct 28, 2020 2:38 am

Jacob HF wrote:
Wed Oct 28, 2020 12:44 am
Kept-in-line wrote:
Tue Oct 27, 2020 1:44 am
I’ve read Ephesians before, but now when you quoted it I felt in a different light. “In every thing”. Maybe that means that if the husband decides they should live this lifestyle, then the wife should submit to this, regardless of her own wants. But obviously still in a loving way. What do you think? I’m I far fetch now?
I sort of agree with that.

There is another issue at play though. As I said above I the Bible permits but doesn't mandate a husband to use corporal punishment. Therefore the scripture applies which requires us to follow the civil law.

In most jurisdictions non-consensual DD is illegal. God's word doesn't permit us to break the law unless by keeping it we would break his commandments.

So even if the Bible might mandate a woman to submit even if she doesn't want to, it doesn't allow a man to break the civil law to impose this if his wife doesn't consent to it.

Also, I feel the need to mention that this forum officially (see rule 8) only supports consensual DD.

--Jacob
Oh, I am sorry if I wasn’t clear. It has to be consented and not forced. My thinking was when one doesn’t want it, but goes along to obey. I hate being spanked. I hate it so much. But I have consented because I wish to obey my husband,

But the basis of the consent can be the fact that one is submitting to a husband.

My husband has not forced me, I have consented to please him and to obey him. I can fully say no. And if he still did it, that would be abuse.

Kept-in-line
Posts: 65
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2020 12:09 am

Re: New here

Post by Kept-in-line » Wed Oct 28, 2020 2:40 am

DesertRose wrote:
Tue Oct 27, 2020 4:30 pm
I'm Muslim, and in Islam we believe also that the wife should obey her husband as long as he doesn't command her to disobey God.

Good wives would benefit from a loving discipline. But if a wife is not responding well to discipline, forcing it on her would only create more damage in the marriage.
To be honest I’m not sure if I benefit from it, but I have changed some behaviour.

But, a couple of instances as I have mentioned has been harmful (like the extra spanking for not accepting aftercare). But he changed that.

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