Finding my way to DD recently

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LovingWife2020
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 1:52 pm

Finding my way to DD recently

Post by LovingWife2020 » Mon Oct 05, 2020 2:50 pm

Hello, I’m new here. I have looked forward to discussing my DD relationship with a group as I feel it’s a very small segment of society. I’m a 46 year old professional woman who has been extremely diligent in my career and work for 20 years in a stressful and fast paced job/career. I make good money and more than my HoH. I am very independent and stubborn and would not lightly go into DD. I have found I need it to function properly and to feel well mental health-wise and in my relationship.

I have always craved spanking and discipline without knowing it.

I am a strong capable professional woman but I crave discipline in the home. I need the burden or responsibility taken from me sometimes and to be cared for. My HoH and I played at this for many years without realizing what we were doing. Recently I stumbled upon the topic of domestic discipline as an idea and lifestyle. Especially now during COVID my HoH and I have had more time to devote to our life together. DD actually happened by accident as we had had an argument over something stupid and as a way to distract him and bring us closer together I told him to spank me and he did. We both felt much better afterwards, he was not angry and I felt less guilty. He has been a good partner for 13 years and generally we have lived in harmony but my love for him has increased since we have formally began DD. This happened about 4 months ago at my initiative and at first he was hesitant feeling it was too much responsibility for him. I let him think a out it and read some things. He now understands why I need this in my life.

It has calmed and centered me and made me safe in a very scary time. Just like when I was younger a spanking hurt but once it was over I felt safe and cared for and loved. I’m not cranky or irritable and I can focus more on my work.

I look forward to confessing the bad things I’ve done to purge myself of the guilt and negative feelings I may have about them. As an example let’s say I used my phone too much for entertainment at work instead of working. My HoH will take me to the bedroom for a good spanking after we’ve discussed it and I feel better after. It helps me correct my behavior and think about my punishment if I do it again. *I* tell him when I need a spanking, I don’t act like a brat to provoke him into it. He always helps me. He is not always present to witness everything I do.

Recently I have asked for significant help in correcting a very bad behavior. I spend too much money on things I don’t need. I know why I do it: as a child growing up our family did not have much in the way of spending money. So once I began to earn my own money I would spend it very easily on “things” because it made me feel good - and safe- as I could not buy things as a child. I have enough to live on and I save the majority of my money and support my HoH but I know I don’t need some of the things I buy. I have asked my HoH to help me correct this behavior and he understands how spanking will give me that same sense of feeling safe and secure.

So far we have committed to daily spankings this week sometimes more than once to reinforce my good behavior and make me think a good long time before I hit that “complete sale” button that’s so easy to do online. I am getting more satisfaction of his loving guidance and discipline that empty purchases. We are on the 3rd day of daily spankings this week and I am sore but content. He has promised a spanking right as I arrive home from work daily. I am a little nervous and am constantly reminded when I sit of my transgressions but I know I asked for it and accept his guidance in this and look forward to his strong loving hands. We might try daily correction if it works out but maybe only 2x per week for maintenance. We had fallen off our usual routine due to a recent surgery I had. We are now back to our normal routine and I can’t be happier.

With DD we always do OTK spanking and it has brought us together emotionally very much. I understand what he needs and how much more love and attention I give him now - more than before. My love for him is easy now and I don’t resent having to pay for more things than he. He supports my career and he has recaptured his “manhood” shall I say by taking control as HoH and with DD. Even he admits to feeling contented and centered by giving me loving guidance through discipline.

Of course I haven’t discussed our sex life suffice to say it has improved tremendously. Sex and DD are separate for me but the love I feel towards him overall makes me want to give freely of myself in other ways as well.

He understands now I crave spankings and have all my life. I’m lucky to have found a man who willing has embarked on this journey with me. I know women say they want that in their lives. I don’t know how I got this lucky but I did. I am grateful. Unfortunately I can’t talk to anyone a out it as very few understand. I don’t know how to talk to medical providers about it as likely it would scare them or cause them to report me for abuse. (Lol). Any ideas in this regard are appreciated.

Short edit: Any ideas about how to get me to cry are appropriated. I have never been able to during a spanking or punishment. Maybe I’m too distracted and used by it? Maybe I like it it too much? Maybe I’m not focused. I have read my HoH needs to either spank harder or longer. I think we will try 6 strokes of a cane today to see if it gives me the release I need. I need the emotional release to move past emotional pain I feel and be free.
Last edited by LovingWife2020 on Mon Oct 05, 2020 6:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.

chrisn
Posts: 29
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2018 6:18 pm

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by chrisn » Mon Oct 05, 2020 4:22 pm

This is absolutely beautiful and exactly what I hope to provide for someone one day. Welcome to the forum!

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Beauty
Posts: 554
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2018 10:43 am

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by Beauty » Mon Oct 05, 2020 4:28 pm

Welcome! Slow and steady on the course has always worked out best for us. 💕
Happy to be taken in hand by my Beast

Olivia
Posts: 682
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by Olivia » Mon Oct 05, 2020 5:25 pm

Welcome!
(I'm not sure where you're from but where I'm from physical abuse of adults being reported isn't really a thing... the professional will ask if you help is needed and give you resources but it's not reported to police or anything unless you ask them to; it's only a crime if you say it is- are you worried about bruising or are you wanting to talk to a professional?)

LovingWife2020
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 1:52 pm

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by LovingWife2020 » Mon Oct 05, 2020 5:57 pm

chrisn wrote:
Mon Oct 05, 2020 4:22 pm
This is absolutely beautiful and exactly what I hope to provide for someone one day. Welcome to the forum!
Thanks for the encouragement. I’m happy to find a community that understands. <3

LovingWife2020
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 1:52 pm

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by LovingWife2020 » Mon Oct 05, 2020 5:58 pm

Olivia wrote:
Mon Oct 05, 2020 5:25 pm
Welcome!
(I'm not sure where you're from but where I'm from physical abuse of adults being reported isn't really a thing... the professional will ask if you help is needed and give you resources but it's not reported to police or anything unless you ask them to; it's only a crime if you say it is- are you worried about bruising or are you wanting to talk to a professional?)
I live in NYS. They ask at every doctor visit if you feel safe
at home. I always smile inwardly yo myself and say yes, and think to myself if you only knew...

LovingWife2020
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 1:52 pm

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by LovingWife2020 » Mon Oct 05, 2020 6:03 pm

Beauty wrote:
Mon Oct 05, 2020 4:28 pm
Welcome! Slow and steady on the course has always worked out best for us. 💕
Thanks for the warm welcome <3

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Lauren
Posts: 1250
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by Lauren » Mon Oct 05, 2020 8:54 pm

LovingWife2020 wrote:
Mon Oct 05, 2020 5:58 pm
Olivia wrote:
Mon Oct 05, 2020 5:25 pm
Welcome!
(I'm not sure where you're from but where I'm from physical abuse of adults being reported isn't really a thing... the professional will ask if you help is needed and give you resources but it's not reported to police or anything unless you ask them to; it's only a crime if you say it is- are you worried about bruising or are you wanting to talk to a professional?)
I live in NYS. They ask at every doctor visit if you feel safe
at home. I always smile inwardly yo myself and say yes, and think to myself if you only knew...
I think you should just say yes and leave it at that. No need to elaborate.

Emily
Posts: 496
Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2019 3:49 am
Location: UK

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by Emily » Tue Oct 06, 2020 1:22 am

Welcome! :)
Happily married to the most wonderful and loving guy! 💖💖💖

Olivia
Posts: 682
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by Olivia » Tue Oct 06, 2020 6:37 am

Lol yes, I'd also leave it at yes I feel safe at home

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