Finding my way to DD recently

Please take your time and introduce yourself to us - why Domestic Discipline, are you married, how your relationship progressed...
subwife_plumprump
Posts: 63
Joined: Fri May 01, 2020 12:09 pm
Location: MD

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by subwife_plumprump » Tue Oct 06, 2020 10:01 am

Sounds like a beautiful path you are both on... welcome to the community ❤️
- J.

My HOH does not tolerate disrespect. Lovingly ❤️submitting...as he keeps this smart mouth in check & plump bottom 😩😭 sore from paddling.

Acd
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Oct 06, 2020 11:04 am

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by Acd » Tue Oct 06, 2020 11:34 am

Wow. Thank you. Your story could be my story. I’m a 50+ professional woman with a very successful ( and stressful) career. I’ve been in a committed relationship for 3 years with a man that I love and respect greatly. Prior to that I was in a long term marriage with a man that I neither loved nor respected. I have skirted the topic of spanking with him on many occasions but I haven’t been exactly honest. I think he thinks it’s sexually based but it isn’t. I actually need him to discipline me and assume an HoH role in our lives. I’ve always needed this type of relationship but there was no way I could do it with my ex-husband. I often feel fragmented and anxious and believe the structure of this kind of relationship along with the physician release of a spanking to the point of tears would help me be more focused in every area of my life.
I’m going to work the nerve up to ask for what I need. Thank you for sharing your story.

leenicolelinn
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:29 am
Location: Southern Ohio

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by leenicolelinn » Wed Oct 07, 2020 5:33 am

Welcome.
I agree with Lauren and Olivia. Just say yes I feel safe at home..BTW medical professionals have to ask that question now with most questionnaires. Also medical professionals are mandated reporters of suspected physical, mental, financial abuse of children all the way up to elderly. Specific details vary across jurisdictions. So "ain't no ones business that your HOH spanked your butt". 😉
Learning sweet submission and respect through my Heavenly Father and my HOH Husband.

Cwilson199
Posts: 30
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2020 11:31 pm

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by Cwilson199 » Fri Oct 16, 2020 7:04 pm

After I read your post I sent it to my HOH to read. Specifically the part about spending. I do the same as you. But I tend to buy a lot of small needless things. It doesn’t necessarily hurt us financially, I make my own money, and I’m fiercely independent but it’s out of hand. And though it doesn’t hurt us financially I’m sure in the long run it prevents us from getting bigger things we need or want at the time. I’ve binge bought enough craft supplies to last a lifetime. Crap I’ll probably never use. And it’s literally overflowing in our bedroom in my craft corner. Lol I have a bad habit of going to stores after work to wind down before I go home to deal with kids and the house. And though it’s my way of unwinding it’s becoming a problem. I didn’t want to admit this to him but we both knew it. I could be home getting more done and not spending money on random stuff. The way he’s decided to handle this is
1. One designated day a week for me to go to the store to get all groceries and household items we’d need for the week. I have to have a weeks meal plan with a grocery list made and sent to him. If I forget anything and have to go to the store an extra day it’ll be a punishment. I’ve always grocery shopped daily. Never for a whole week. So this will be a big change
2. I’m grounded to the house everyday after work besides the one day a week to grocery shop. Doing this for a few weeks until the impulse and urge isn’t so bad for me
3. I have to send a receipt after grocery shopping to show I didn’t get anything extra and that I stuck to the meal plan
4. I have to track money spent anywhere else. Gas. Lunch. Ect.
5. Send him a plan for the bills I have to pay each week and how much my check is
6. I’m not allowed to ask to go to stores or to get random things. No bad attitudes or rude comments about it. And I have to communicate my bills and money effectively with him. (I’m a control freak and I’ve never shared an account or bills. My ex was extremely toxic and made me this way. I get super defensive. ) if I fail at these it’s punishment
7. Obviously breaking the main rule and going and buying whatever would be a severe punishment

I just know at some point I’m going to breakdown and go anyways. It’s seriously my favorite thing to do. We work opposite shifts. And I’m a homebody and don’t really go to friends houses. So it’s like my only form of enjoyment.

How has it gone for you so far? Any advice? Luckily I don’t online shop. I hate it. I’m too impatient and hate shipping costs lol

Olivia
Posts: 678
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by Olivia » Fri Oct 16, 2020 8:59 pm

Sounds like some big changes but certainly do-able, best wishes!
Spending was the one rule we started with after marriage, he actually said it was hopeless at one point :lol: ... it was a long road- but now I'm actually a better saver than him lol

Cwilson199
Posts: 30
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2020 11:31 pm

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by Cwilson199 » Sat Oct 17, 2020 1:59 am

What were the consequences for doing so? What helped you the most?

Olivia
Posts: 678
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by Olivia » Sat Oct 17, 2020 8:28 am

What I think helped the most was getting on board with why we saving as much as we could (early retirement). I set up budgets and it kind of became a game with myself to spend under budget. My husband would be really pleased with me and that is addictive in itself!
I gave my husband my bank card and we eventually set up an allowance so we can still spend some money, within reason (but this wasn't started until my spending was under control) . Once my spending was under control I also got the card back.
He watches the account closely so he'd know right away if I spent. The rule was that if I spent over 20$ I was supposed to tell him (along with why it was something we needed). If I didn't tell him there'd be a talk and a spanking when he found out.
This got me thinking about the purchases I was making, how they were adding up day after day, week after week... and how much would have been in the bank if I saved instead of spent.
It was a long road and I didn't become a thrifty saver over night that's for sure! Lots of talks, lots of time facing the corner, lots of spankings, lots of trial and error, and lots of inconsistency ... but I got there! We built on small goals, I think I started with having to tell him when I spent 75+$ and that gradually moved down to 20 then we put in the allowance. The allowance is helpful I'd recommend starting with one
Sounds like you're going to have a lot more free time, not going to the store everyday! Maybe try using that time doing something nice for yourself as a thank you to you for not spending?

User avatar
DesertRose
Posts: 565
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 1:34 pm

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by DesertRose » Sat Oct 17, 2020 3:41 pm

Welcome... and good luck with your journey :)

May I ask, what do you mean by you tell your husband when you need a spanking? Is it always this way? Or sometimes he would be the one who decides that you should be spanked?
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

Cwilson199
Posts: 30
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2020 11:31 pm

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by Cwilson199 » Sat Oct 17, 2020 8:56 pm

That’s a good idea. An allowance once it’s under control. How much is it?

Olivia
Posts: 678
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Finding my way to DD recently

Post by Olivia » Sun Oct 18, 2020 9:10 am

We do 50 a week, we started with more and have been able to cut down

Post Reply