Husband new to DD

Please take your time and introduce yourself to us - why Domestic Discipline, are you married, how your relationship progressed...
leenicolelinn
Posts: 345
Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:29 am
Location: Southern Ohio

Re: Husband new to DD

Post by leenicolelinn » Wed Oct 07, 2020 5:19 am

SomewhatDefiant wrote:
Tue Oct 06, 2020 7:46 pm
Don’t be afraid of hurting her - she WANTS it to hurt or she wouldn’t have wanted DD. Also, the butt is very resilient, even if she doesn’t have a lot of padding there (I know this from experience).

At the time, she may not want you to keep going - when it hurts, it’s easy to ask you to stop or the fight-or-flight response kicks in, but she needs you to ignore her. She wants and needs you to take control of things, deciding when you think you should stop.

If you’re unsure, show her some of these responses and ask her what she thinks :)
100% agree.
Learning sweet submission and respect through my Heavenly Father and my HOH Husband.

Firm hand
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Nov 01, 2019 5:29 am
Location: Wales

Re: Husband new to DD

Post by Firm hand » Wed Oct 07, 2020 8:03 am

SouthernHusband wrote:
Fri Oct 02, 2020 7:06 am
Hello everyone! My name is Jacob and I am 35 yrs old. I am from Texas, USA. I am a happily married man with an awesome wife (she is 30) and a little one who make our struggles all worth it. We have been married for about 5 yrs. A very pleasant marriage but I always knew but my wife "keeping" something from me. And recently, she told me about that "missing" part in her life. She introduced me to the world of "Christian Domestic Discipline" roughly about 6 months back. We are both Christians. DD or CDD is not something I've come across though. But apparently, she has had an interest in it "forever" and she thought it might be just a phase but it isn't. Her revelation about her needs came during the virus shutdowns. We spent a lot of time together talking about various stuff and watching our little one grow.

She picked a very special day (Her birthday) to introduce me to the world of DD. It was back during the month of June. It's been 3 months and I'm still learning about the DD world. It is all new to me. She did not push me to practice it. She gave me enough time for me to get in terms with it and try to understand her needs. And I am still doing my best to understand it. I have always been the HoH, naturally, but spanking is new to me. Now, I found this site through a google search and I am writing here because I spanked her for the first time a couple of nights back and I have mixed feelings about it.

Now, the spanking itself was nothing brutal. I used my hand. She was "waiting" for me to do it ever since I agreed to DD (which was a week ago). She has always been the queen of sass and I've found that frustrating. So a couple nights ago, when she made out one of her usual sassy remarks, I thought this might be a good time to "test the waters". Later that night, I had her over my knee.

The spanking itself was nothing severe or over the top. I only used my hand. I found out the "optimal" force within a minute or so. It felt a little silly at first, but once I started to spank her with determination, it started to feel very real. She eventually started to kick her legs, squirm. And when I heard her first cry, I stopped. I was afraid I might have hurt her. And she whispered "Don't stop". I was confused but I kept going. After about 3-4 minutes, I HAD to stop because she had started crying and I couldn't take it.

Now, here's the dilemma. Ever since the spanking, she has been very relaxed and for the last couple of days, there has been absolutely no sassy remarks/comments. But, I am definitely afraid of "hurting" her. I don't like to see her crying over my knee. All I want to do is take her in my arms and comfort her, but, I have to "keep going" until the lesson is learnt. I am a big guy and she is a petite woman. I don't have to use much force to make her feel sorry, but I feel I might have to "toughen up" with regards to seeing my wife cry if I were to actually teach her a sound lesson.

I am here for your honest opinions and advice. I am happy to learn from anyone who have anything valuable to add to my knowledge.

As I said, I am new to DD. So please be patient with me if I am wrong or my understanding of something is off base. That said, I am serious about making DD our lifestyle and hence, I am going to make some serious changes at our home with regards to my loving and awesome wife's often bratty behavior.

Hi Jacob. I am also a HOH and have been so for a while now. But I have been in your position and am happy to chat about my feelings and experiences.

Feel free to message me or chat anytime.

User avatar
NateG
Posts: 813
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:34 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: Husband new to DD

Post by NateG » Wed Oct 07, 2020 8:07 am

Jacob,

There really is no need to worry about "hurting" her. They need and want the release and spanking helps. It also helps show them that they have a strong leader husband. Her behavior the few days afterwards show that. You know you are not going to be brutal or abuse her....so don't worry about that. A spanking should hurt and sting and cause some heat in their bottom. It will be good for your marriage.

Nate

VernAKmiss
Posts: 156
Joined: Sat Oct 31, 2020 12:18 am

Re: Husband new to DD

Post by VernAKmiss » Tue Nov 03, 2020 5:59 pm

I agree with the above comments. I am the wife and we are literally just starting DD and my husband is extremely apprehensive. I would say if it is a punishment spanking (not maintenance or reminder or ‘fun’) then it definitely needs to be hard enough for her to NOT enjoy it. That is literally the whole purpose of this lifestyle. You don’t want her to want a
punishment and you want her to improve in the area on whatever the punishment was for. As hard as it is to ‘hurt’ her during a spanking it is EXACTLY what she signed up for. Do you have a safe word in place? Or have you practiced much with different implements to test her threshold?? You can use safe words like green, yellow and red to help you learn where she is at during practice sessions.

Cait
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon May 27, 2019 11:06 pm

Re: Husband new to DD

Post by Cait » Sun Jun 20, 2021 9:39 pm

I wanted to just share some thoughts that came to my mind as a read this.
The fact that your Christian I think you should really look at ( maybe you have) the scriptures in the Bible about marriage and biblical gender roles. There is one in Ephesians 5:25 where is says men love your wives as Christ loved the church and this is where Christians today often forget that Christ came to make the church clean. He did it in kindness but he also did correct and chastise the church. Part of loving your wife well is disciplining her, and she actually will feel more loved as you act in this God given role.

It's good you are aware of not wanting to hurt her, but spearate pain from injury here, you don't want to injure her. Pain is needed. And you wont enjoy causing her pain but it is so much better for her to have short lived pain and learn the lesson then never get it.

I recommend looking up YogiObasReborn he is a youtuber and has many video's about traditional relationships. Not specifically DD but a lot of the gender roles he speaks about fit into DD well and he does talk about correcting your wife, he just hasn't specified spanking much really. But he talks from a biblical perspective.

Welcome and I wish you luck just wanted to offer the perspective of a woman who understands your wives desire.

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