Husband new to DD

[SouthernHusband]

Hello everyone! My name is Jacob and I am 35 yrs old. I am from Texas, USA. I am a happily married man with an awesome wife (she is 30) and a little one who make our struggles all worth it. We have been married for about 5 yrs. A very pleasant marriage but I always knew but my wife "keeping" something from me. And recently, she told me about that "missing" part in her life. She introduced me to the world of "Christian Domestic Discipline" roughly about 6 months back. We are both Christians. DD or CDD is not something I've come across though. But apparently, she has had an interest in it "forever" and she thought it might be just a phase but it isn't. Her revelation about her needs came during the virus shutdowns. We spent a lot of time together talking about various stuff and watching our little one grow.

She picked a very special day (Her birthday) to introduce me to the world of DD. It was back during the month of June. It's been 3 months and I'm still learning about the DD world. It is all new to me. She did not push me to practice it. She gave me enough time for me to get in terms with it and try to understand her needs. And I am still doing my best to understand it. I have always been the HoH, naturally, but spanking is new to me. Now, I found this site through a google search and I am writing here because I spanked her for the first time a couple of nights back and I have mixed feelings about it.

Now, the spanking itself was nothing brutal. I used my hand. She was "waiting" for me to do it ever since I agreed to DD (which was a week ago). She has always been the queen of sass and I've found that frustrating. So a couple nights ago, when she made out one of her usual sassy remarks, I thought this might be a good time to "test the waters". Later that night, I had her over my knee.

The spanking itself was nothing severe or over the top. I only used my hand. I found out the "optimal" force within a minute or so. It felt a little silly at first, but once I started to spank her with determination, it started to feel very real. She eventually started to kick her legs, squirm. And when I heard her first cry, I stopped. I was afraid I might have hurt her. And she whispered "Don't stop". I was confused but I kept going. After about 3-4 minutes, I HAD to stop because she had started crying and I couldn't take it.

Now, here's the dilemma. Ever since the spanking, she has been very relaxed and for the last couple of days, there has been absolutely no sassy remarks/comments. But, I am definitely afraid of "hurting" her. I don't like to see her crying over my knee. All I want to do is take her in my arms and comfort her, but, I have to "keep going" until the lesson is learnt. I am a big guy and she is a petite woman. I don't have to use much force to make her feel sorry, but I feel I might have to "toughen up" with regards to seeing my wife cry if I were to actually teach her a sound lesson.

I am here for your honest opinions and advice. I am happy to learn from anyone who have anything valuable to add to my knowledge.

As I said, I am new to DD. So please be patient with me if I am wrong or my understanding of something is off base. That said, I am serious about making DD our lifestyle and hence, I am going to make some serious changes at our home with regards to my loving and awesome wife's often bratty behavior.

[Emily]

Welcome!

[Lauren]

Welcome!

[newbietoDD]

Welcome!

As I‘m new to DD, too, and a TiH I can‘t get you some advices, but for me it sounds like you‘re doing it great! Don‘t be afraid of hurting her, you will know, when it‘s enough. A sore bottom will be really helpfull for her - as you already seen.

I‘m crossing my fingers, Good luck for your DD-Journey!

[Emily]

A spanking is meant to hurt, but when we start crying it doesn't necessarily mean that the pain is too much for us to take. Crying can be an emotional release and helps us to get over the guilt of whatever we did to earn the spanking.

[leenicolelinn]

A spanking is meant to hurt, but when we start crying it doesn't necessarily mean that the pain is too much for us to take. Crying can be an emotional release and helps us to get over the guilt of whatever we did to earn the spanking.

Welcome to the forum

Emily is correct. Most of us cry because it is a release. Remember it is the women that go thru the physical pain of having babies.
I don't cry a lot but when I have cried during a spanking it is emotional not the pain from the spanking. Don't get me wrong, my husband spanks hard in my opinion and they are supposed to hurt maybe that is part of the catalyst to help us get to that submissive place.
Also when you read some of the archives you will see that most of us women need to be spanked until there is no more fight in us. We are laying limp over our husbands lap absorbing his discipline. Please don't let this scare you. Read, learn,question and discuss everything with your wife.

Nic

[Mr_Nic]

Welcome Jacob! I’m a husband who is very new at this too. So I don’t have any real advice other than to say it sounds like you are doing great and off to a really good start. I’m sure you will find some great resources on this site.

All the best

Nic

[SouthernHusband]

Thank you everyone for your kind welcome. I'm glad to be here.

[Jacob HF]

Welcome Jacob.

--Jacob

[SomewhatDefiant]

Don’t be afraid of hurting her - she WANTS it to hurt or she wouldn’t have wanted DD. Also, the butt is very resilient, even if she doesn’t have a lot of padding there (I know this from experience).

At the time, she may not want you to keep going - when it hurts, it’s easy to ask you to stop or the fight-or-flight response kicks in, but she needs you to ignore her. She wants and needs you to take control of things, deciding when you think you should stop.

If you’re unsure, show her some of these responses and ask her what she thinks