Hello from Canada

Please take your time and introduce yourself to us - why Domestic Discipline, are you married, how your relationship progressed...
ex-hoh
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2020 12:01 pm

Hello from Canada

Post by ex-hoh » Tue Sep 29, 2020 12:10 pm

Hi. I have been in a Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage for about four years. I am currently going through a divorce as I have lost my dear wife to a cult. I never thought I would ever be here, however I am happy for the new beginning, and am blessed for my two wonderful kids that I will be fighting tooth, and nail for. So I am just here to meet some new people and finally pop my head out of the bubble that I have been in for the past few years. I am an open book so ask any questions at all. I also love to talking about the life I use to live, and one day hope to live again.

Grace
Posts: 12
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2020 8:52 am

Re: Hello from Canada

Post by Grace » Tue Sep 29, 2020 12:17 pm

Hello

Sorry to hear about your divorce. What was the life you lead with your wife like? Are you looking for the same sort of thing again? My partner and I are new to this so would love to hear your stories.

Grace

ex-hoh
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2020 12:01 pm

Re: Hello from Canada

Post by ex-hoh » Tue Sep 29, 2020 1:04 pm

Sure.... The first 2 years were wonderful. We initially agreed to live a traditional Christian lifestyle. We took it literally with the instructions of the family. I was head of the house. My job was to provide all things needed for the family. I was also to be the primary teacher of the bible to the family. This includes nightly bible study for the children, and daily bible study for my wife. She was required to attend, and must provide a reason before study, if she could not. All issues outside the home if it was a problem for her I was required to solve, she just needed to let me know what was going on, what her desired outcome is, and I would take care of it. Every morning I would get an itinerary for what she would like to do for the day. I had final say. My wife at the time had the habit of planning for too much, getting overwhelmed, and then shutting down I had to manage it. This is where I found most of my work, time management. On her side, my dear wife only needed to care for the home, and tend to the kids while I was at work. Those were good times.

My wife however saw a pastor on Youtube, and got hooked on him. He became the head of the house, and I needed to obey him. The house, the kids, and myself no longer became a priority, and I had to make a tough call. I would love to go back to a lifestyle like that because it really works. What I can tell you as an HOH it gave me purpose every morning to wake up, and know that there was a family that depended on me, and my job was to make my wife happy. I structured her day to maximize it, and it worked. There were no fights, there was just annoyances that we made fun about. I have been in other relationships this is far superior. I just wish I had managed the Youtube time, just didn't see the threat until it was too late. For that I failed, as an HOH.

Grace
Posts: 12
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2020 8:52 am

Re: Hello from Canada

Post by Grace » Tue Sep 29, 2020 1:40 pm

Sounds like it worked very well, perhaps better things await you. We are hoping to achieve the same kind of lifestyle just not the Christian bit. We are not religious.

How old are the kids? Do they now live in a cult with your wife?

ex-hoh
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2020 12:01 pm

Re: Hello from Canada

Post by ex-hoh » Tue Sep 29, 2020 3:29 pm

3, and 5, and no currently we are working on the kids. For now they stay at home with me, and spend some time with her at her parents. But there is no separating the cult from her.

Online
Lauren
Posts: 1247
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Hello from Canada

Post by Lauren » Tue Sep 29, 2020 5:38 pm

ex-hoh wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 1:04 pm
My wife however saw a pastor on Youtube, and got hooked on him. He became the head of the house, and I needed to obey him.
What do you mean by this? How did the Pastor become Head of the Household? Why did YOU need to obey the Pastor?

P.S. Please be careful how you word things. Saying your wife ONLY had to take care of the home and children is really disrespectful. It is a full time job and is not a piece of cake. Please give her the credit she deserves.

ex-hoh
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2020 12:01 pm

Re: Hello from Canada

Post by ex-hoh » Tue Sep 29, 2020 5:59 pm

I am not sure how much this board supports anything religious, so if you want to know more please PM me, and I will be happy to go into much more detail, I just don't want to break any rules, and to be honest this is the only place I have found that even remotely understands my life. Without trying to go too deep. This pastor fundamentally changed the rules of the marriage. The husband was no longer the head of the house because he was an apostle that was sent to instruct all people. This instruction was to obey him above all else. So the dress codes came along, no wedding ring, no more friends that we loved, Like I mentioned before, as a wife, caring for the home, and children were no longer the top priority but personal salvation, which required being obedient to him. Again to be honest, I feel I have said too much. Please if you want to know more I feel free to PM me. Again I am still not sure of all the rules here.

newbietoDD
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2020 5:16 am
Location: Germany - Wuerzburg

Re: Hello from Canada

Post by newbietoDD » Wed Sep 30, 2020 12:33 am

Thank you @Lauren
That‘s exactely, what I thought

leenicolelinn
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:29 am
Location: Southern Ohio

Re: Hello from Canada

Post by leenicolelinn » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:20 am

Welcome ex hoh

I am very sorry about your marriage. I hope it all works out for the best. This forum seems to have a fairly good size of Christians. I have never seen anyone attacked for their religion on here so I say you are safe to speak of Christianity. BTW my husband and I are Christians and went into our relationship starting CDD.
You describe a marriage like I would watch on TV from the 50s. Wish life was that simple. Information and technology is at our fingertips 24/7 which has been bad for family life. (in my opinion)

It is very hard to look into someone's life by just a paragraph, there are a lot of assumptions. My first assumption is that your wife was not content or happy, something was wrong because she was "searching" for something. Unfortunately she found it on YouTube and it does not sound good. I am sorry for that. Also I may be totally wrong, again it may be a wrong assumption.

May I ask how you used DD when you found out she was doing this YouTube pastor thing? I am sure there is much history in trying to get her away from that.

Anyway. Welcome
Nic
Learning sweet submission and respect through my Heavenly Father and my HOH Husband.

Jacob HF
Posts: 87
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2020 10:53 am
Location: Sacramento, CA

Re: Hello from Canada

Post by Jacob HF » Wed Sep 30, 2020 9:09 am

ex-hoh wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 5:59 pm
I am not sure how much this board supports anything religious
I am very forward about my faith here and haven't gotten any pushback at all.

--Jacob

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