Hello

Please take your time and introduce yourself to us - why Domestic Discipline, are you married, how your relationship progressed...
Jessesgirl
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:37 am

Hello

Post by Jessesgirl » Tue Jun 16, 2020 1:28 am

Hey, y’all! Jessesgirl here. My husband and I are new to this and I had a few questions. Is there anything you do or don’t recommend doing? How has it helped in your relationship? How long have you been doing it?
We are starting the boot camp next weekend and I’m actually excited about it. There isn’t much of anything wrong with our relationship but I’m hoping this will bring us so much closer than we already are.
Thanks for your feedback ❤️

leenicolelinn
Posts: 73
Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:29 am
Location: Southern Ohio

Re: Hello

Post by leenicolelinn » Tue Jun 16, 2020 5:40 am

Hi Jessesgirl

Welcome. There is all types of advise on this forum. We haven't done boot camp so I really don't know what to tell you. I think I would really have to be in that submissive and obedient mind set.

Let us know how it goes, good luck

Nic
Learning sweet submission and respect through my Heavenly Father and my HOH Husband.

Olivia
Posts: 544
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Hello

Post by Olivia » Tue Jun 16, 2020 6:53 am

Welcome!!

randirenea
Posts: 43
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2020 11:59 am

Re: Hello

Post by randirenea » Tue Jun 16, 2020 10:27 am

welcome, I also am new to this my husband and I plan on a boot camp in July when we go away so I'm interested in hearing how yours goes. I think this will be a learning curve of what works best for each person. This is a great group full of people that are glad to offer help, advise and suggest. For me the biggest part of trying to implement this into our life style thus far has been talking through expectations so that we could set up rules. We have set aside a time each weekend to discuss how things went during the week so that we can see what rules need to be adjusted, added, or removed.

Lauren
Posts: 1187
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Hello

Post by Lauren » Wed Jun 17, 2020 12:50 pm

I would recommend consistency on your husband's part. It is one of the most important things there is while doing DD. So many problems stem from lack of consistency. I also suggest A LOT of communication. Also very important. Tell him what you think is working. What isn't. Discuss how something could be improved or taken away all together. Be honest when you have broken a rule. He needs to communicate with you with his opinions as well. I would not recommend starting off with too many rules. It overwhelms people and makes them want to give up.

I have been living this lifestyle for 12 years. My husband has for almost 6 years. It helps balance our relationship out. Because of a lot of past trauma, I am very high strung. I like things a certain way. I am the one who organizes our whole lives. Scheduling, making sure the home runs smoothly, making sure everyone's happy, baring the weight on my shoulders. I also feel the need to be strong all the time. Not be weak. Don't let show that things bother me. My husband on the other hand is very laid back. Okay with me handling finances, letting me plan, doesn't understand why I stress so much. He is very good at the manly man things. That's all on him. However, living this lifestyle I have learned to let go of the reigns alittle. I have learned that I can trust someone again. I can let someone see my weaker side. I can go to someone when I feel like the world is too much. He has learned to be more loving. Considering his wife and children first. How to make decisions. How to be a partner. It has made him grow up a little. There are just so many benefits. I am glad I found him and he agreed to go on this journey with me.

Pink cheeks
Posts: 194
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 12:20 pm
Location: Arizona

Re: Hello

Post by Pink cheeks » Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:06 pm

Hello and welcome.

We are also new to DD. Started in March this year. COVID-19 forced A break in my business, so it gave us something to do :lol: ;) We also have a great marriage of 19 years, I have some behavior problems (more in my blog about them)

We started with Boot Camp. We did a 30 day boot camp as our intro to DD. Then we followed it up with a 2 day. We found 2 different boot camp options, I am sure there must be others- we started with the 30 day because it was the first one we found, I found the 2 day at the end of our 30 day. So I can share a bit about both with you.

I wrote a bit about it in my journal as well.

https://forum.domestic-discipline.net/ ... =14&t=1516

Let me give you a quick recap of what we did.
The 30 day bootcamp consisted of:
1) Short list of rules and consequences. We were advised a short list of rules would be better as too many make it too difficult in the beginning. All of this has been about helping me correct some very destructive behavior. Our rules reflected that.
2) Morning “reminder to be good” Spankings. My husband is not a spanker, so this eased us both into it.
3) PM Maintenance Spankings (I found evening spankings helped me sleep)
4) Sit down discussions 2 times a week to discuss everything and anything. These really help to stay in conversation, however we talk whenever something comes up that seems important. (Mostly- it works well until I am feeling guilty about something I have done- and delay in “coming clean”
5) I started our journal, I write most everyday. It is my responsibility to keep it up to date. HOH can read it anytime he wants, I am completely honest in my writing, it often helps me think about something that I want to discuss but don’t quite know how to start.
6) I keep a calendar -Also my responsibility- I list any broken rules, consequences for my actions, Sit down discussions etc, It is mostly in code so anyone looking at it would not necessarily understand - there are also Dr apts etc.
We did not implement any of the other protocols from the 30 day. HOH did not order corner time, writing lines, calling him sir etc. In short we picked those things we though we could do and let that be our “Boot Camp”.

The link to this boot camp, I will place here for reference. https://adomesticdisciplinesociety.blo ... ealed.html

We did this for a 4 week trial period. We were just about to the end of the trial and feeling “pretty good” but not real solid in our HOH/TiH roles. I suspect if we had been more committed to the entire protocol we would have done better.

It was at the end of our 30 day when I found Clints book and we decided to do the 2 day Boot Camp. It was about the same time I found this forum. (Lots of spanking going on In boot camp, hence my “Pink Cheeks” name.)

The two day was very intense, for both of us, you can find the details in the book available on Amazon.
In short
The days were completely planed out by HOH. My rules were simple 1. Ask to do ANYTHING. 2.Listen and Obey 3. Never respond negative 4. Be Respectful 5. No complaining, whining or ”giving attitude’
We had the weekend to ourselves, no plans, no family, just us, at home.
The day starts with a medium spanking and a home work assignment chosen by HOH, Rob did them exactly as provide in the book. A few hours later after breakfast and whatever else, A hard spanking followed by a homework assignment. A few hours later is a homework assignment followed with a Severe spanking, after dinner a mild spanking and homework assignment. It was mid-day one when I first posted in this forum. Lots of spanking, and for us the most intense Rob had ever given and I had ever received.

Both days were the same in structure, the homework assignments were specific. They included things like what financial goals we had (extremely important for us as that is a problem area for me). With a plan to get there. Lots of conversations about very personal and private thoughts. The homework assignments were the the best! They kept the conversations relevant, on track and forced me to open up, verbally, about my thoughts feelings and behaviors.

The two day was waaay more effective than the 30 day. It may be that the 30 day prepared us for the 2 day, however I suspect the 2 day with the rigid guidelines is what made the difference. Rob learned to spank harder, that was huge, did I mention he is not a spanker. I learned to be a bit more submissive. (Smart, Strong and derisive used to be my mantra)

The best things from the 30 day are the journal, which we have continued. And is where I am compliantly open and honest, I pretend like no one will read it and sometimes I ramble, and it helps. It helps me capture my thoughts and feelings in a “safe” place. I can look back and see why and how things happen. An it gives Rob insight to what is going on in my head.
I find I can break every rule we have, except the honesty rule. I will always be honest and that starts in the journal.

The other best thing about the 30 day is I get a spanking twice a day. It seems so crazy to me to write this, as I was never spanked in my life prior to 2 months ago. I fantasized about it from time to time... I am certain he (Rob) has not learned to spank hard enough or long enough to really make the impact that I need to change my lifetime of bad behaviors and he IS doing it. I suspect the day may come when I look back wistfully at my gentle spankings.

It has allowed me to learn to be submissive, Rob is a much better decision maker - I tend to choose poorly, He has made good decisions throughout his lifetime, so learning to defer to him is better.

We learned to talk more and be honest “no matter what”
So we continue to learn, this forum has been extremely helpful. We talk, a lot, we read a a lot, That is a good thing.

I have improved, a ton, in my behavior. Admittedly I still have problems and we are still both learning. I have a bit to write about in my Journal (the last few days have been tough- and I could use some advise from some of the wonderful veterans on the forum). There have been many moments when I would have given up on all of it. It has been an emotional roller coaster for me, and for Rob, I am sure. And the benefits far outweigh the pain :lol: Of learning to be a better version of myself.

We are both happy to share our experience or answer any questions.

Good luck with your bootcamp and journey.

M

Pink cheeks
Posts: 194
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 12:20 pm
Location: Arizona

Re: Hello

Post by Pink cheeks » Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:08 pm

Lauren,
I love what you wrote.

Lauren
Posts: 1187
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Hello

Post by Lauren » Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:34 pm

Pink cheeks wrote:
Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:08 pm
Lauren,
I love what you wrote.
Thank you! You did awesome yourself!

Pink cheeks
Posts: 194
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 12:20 pm
Location: Arizona

Re: Hello

Post by Pink cheeks » Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:38 pm

Lauren,
Why is there no smiley with a kiss? That is what I would send you.

Lauren
Posts: 1187
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Hello

Post by Lauren » Thu Jun 18, 2020 12:02 am

Pink cheeks wrote:
Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:38 pm
Lauren,
Why is there no smiley with a kiss? That is what I would send you.
I don't know why. I also dislike that we can't like comments like on Facebook. Somethings people say are really good and I want to let them know that without hijacking a post. (Like we are doing right now) I'm sorry Jessesgirl!

(Back to the scheduled programming)

Post Reply