New to DD, and looking for advice to get started!

Please take your time and introduce yourself to us - why Domestic Discipline, are you married, how your relationship progressed...
Mrs.Yorkshire
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jun 10, 2020 10:11 am

New to DD, and looking for advice to get started!

Post by Mrs.Yorkshire » Wed Jun 10, 2020 10:47 am

Hi there, I’ve been married for 9 years, and we have a traditional marriage. My husband works and I’m at home with our two kids. I grew up in a feminist family, yet I always craved a traditional relationship. My husband is a traditional man, and I have just introduced him the idea of DD. He is open minded to try it. We just don’t really know where to start? Thank you for your help! Mrs.Yorkshire

User avatar
Miras
Posts: 807
Joined: Thu May 03, 2018 6:26 am
Location: Prague, Czech Republic

Re: New to DD, and looking for advice to get started!

Post by Miras » Wed Jun 10, 2020 11:33 am

Welcome Mrs. Yorkshire! I hope the people here will give you some good advice!
Occasionally friendly Spencerist guy
Faktor IV of MdI - Maghan
Unofficial member of The Wicked Tribe
Putting DD back into BuDDhism

leenicolelinn
Posts: 73
Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:29 am
Location: Southern Ohio

Re: New to DD, and looking for advice to get started!

Post by leenicolelinn » Wed Jun 10, 2020 12:26 pm

Hello and Welcome.
Learning sweet submission and respect through my Heavenly Father and my HOH Husband.

User avatar
Phil04
Posts: 366
Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2018 8:42 am
Location: Texas

Re: New to DD, and looking for advice to get started!

Post by Phil04 » Wed Jun 10, 2020 1:49 pm

Welcome.

The steps to starting a DD relationship are simple.

1). Talk
2). Talk
3). Talk some more.

Keep talking it through until you have complete agreement on what the rules will be, what forms of punishment are acceptable, what level of control each person will have, ect...

Once you have everything agreed upon, give it a try. I promise things will not go as you (or he) pictured them. As issues come up talk them through. When we started we had a nightly meeting for about 15 minutes and a weekly meeting that ran about an hour. We are almost two years in, and still have the weekly meeting, and a strive for the nightly meeting (happens about 50% of the time).

Phil

Mrs.Yorkshire
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jun 10, 2020 10:11 am

Re: New to DD, and looking for advice to get started!

Post by Mrs.Yorkshire » Wed Jun 10, 2020 2:11 pm

Thank you all for the welcome!

As I mentioned my husband is a traditional man, and he naturally likes to be in charge. He likes his word to be respect and sometimes tells me to “stop arguing with me”, “stop talking back”. This makes me think that he might find DD a good thing. I’ve only introduced it to him today, but he was very interested. However, he strongly believes that this is some sort or sexual kick for me. He told me that the idea of spanking me is a turn on for him. I don’t know how to go from there?

I’ve looked at some blogs online, and found this one with an example of rules: https://delightfullydomesticatedblog.wo ... ubmissive/

Does this sound like a good start?

Thank you so much for your help!

Lauren
Posts: 1187
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: New to DD, and looking for advice to get started!

Post by Lauren » Wed Jun 10, 2020 2:53 pm

This list has some good points or rules but it is also VERY strict. And I would not start out with this at the very beginning. I would keep it short. Depending on how seriously your husband takes DD, maybe in the future when you have become good at this if the two of you want something so strict than that's up to you. I know I would be unhappy with this.

Something that may help you is to start out with is the 4 D's. A lot of couples start this way. They are:
1.No Disrespect
2. No Disobedience
3. No Dishonesty
4. No Dangerous behavior.

#4 is up to ya'lls discretion. Normally it means being safe while driving, taking meds on schedule if need be, not over consuming alcohol or using drugs. Things like that.

Also we recently had a discussion on rules. Here is the link viewtopic.php?t=1515

I hope this helps.

User avatar
Miras
Posts: 807
Joined: Thu May 03, 2018 6:26 am
Location: Prague, Czech Republic

Re: New to DD, and looking for advice to get started!

Post by Miras » Wed Jun 10, 2020 4:04 pm

Mrs.Yorkshire wrote:
Wed Jun 10, 2020 2:11 pm
Thank you all for the welcome!

As I mentioned my husband is a traditional man, and he naturally likes to be in charge. He likes his word to be respect and sometimes tells me to “stop arguing with me”, “stop talking back”. This makes me think that he might find DD a good thing. I’ve only introduced it to him today, but he was very interested. However, he strongly believes that this is some sort or sexual kick for me. He told me that the idea of spanking me is a turn on for him. I don’t know how to go from there?

I’ve looked at some blogs online, and found this one with an example of rules: https://delightfullydomesticatedblog.wo ... ubmissive/

Does this sound like a good start?

Thank you so much for your help!
Oh, yes, the sexual thing is the traditional "problem". As sadistic as it sounds, one must learn how the punishments can be uncomratble in order to not be suspected of being arousing... BTW, I know Delightfully domesticated blog and I consider it a little crazy. Hard to say if it is written from authentic perspective.
Occasionally friendly Spencerist guy
Faktor IV of MdI - Maghan
Unofficial member of The Wicked Tribe
Putting DD back into BuDDhism

Pink cheeks
Posts: 194
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 12:20 pm
Location: Arizona

Re: New to DD, and looking for advice to get started!

Post by Pink cheeks » Wed Jun 10, 2020 5:37 pm

Phil04 wrote:
Wed Jun 10, 2020 1:49 pm
Welcome.

The steps to starting a DD relationship are simple.

1). Talk
2). Talk
3). Talk some more.

Keep talking it through until you have complete agreement on what the rules will be, what forms of punishment are acceptable, what level of control each person will have, ect...

Once you have everything agreed upon, give it a try. I promise things will not go as you (or he) pictured them. As issues come up talk them through. When we started we had a nightly meeting for about 15 minutes and a weekly meeting that ran about an hour. We are almost two years in, and still have the weekly meeting, and a strive for the nightly meeting (happens about 50% of the time).

Phil
Yep, what Phil said, and if you run out of things to talk about read through some posts here and talk about them. :D

Mrs.Yorkshire
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jun 10, 2020 10:11 am

Re: New to DD, and looking for advice to get started!

Post by Mrs.Yorkshire » Wed Jun 10, 2020 6:11 pm

Thank you all for your input. I’m so new to DD, I hadn’t realised that it needn’t be too intense to start with. The four D’s sounds like a good way to start.

I wanted to know, from a HoH point of view, how does DD make you feel? And can it feel like a burden?

User avatar
Phil04
Posts: 366
Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2018 8:42 am
Location: Texas

Re: New to DD, and looking for advice to get started!

Post by Phil04 » Wed Jun 10, 2020 6:56 pm

In all honesty, I am not a fan of some of those rules. 8 & 9 in particular seem overly harsh and not something I would want to live under long term.

Being an HOH is definantly a responsibility and not something to take lightly. However, I do take pleasure in having a well run house and helping My_Love form good habits and break bad ones.

Phil

Post Reply