Holding position during your punishment

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darrone
Posts: 62
Joined: Mon Jul 03, 2017 11:06 am

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by darrone » Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:28 pm

twilight wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 5:23 pm
I agree, I would much rather be over his knee. I think he feels it might be uncomfortable for me. He could sit on the bed or sofa and my upper body could rest there. I would absolutely dread the hair brush. Wouldn't it hurt 2X as hard as his hand? Plus in the realm of submissive behavior, he feels I should be able to hold position.
Perhaps I could add some thoughts from a HoH perspective, twilight?

Since you'd prefer to be OTK, I'd be surprised if your husband won't take this on board -- but you may need to explain fully to him how much you desire it. If he fears you'd be uncomfortable, let that discussion be part of the communication process between you. Besides, a certain amount of discomfort is part of the TiH experience.... ;)

In my own case, and from talking to other guys, flipping a lady OTK to spank her is classic DD practice. And since DD is often practised by "traditional" couples, the idea of a wife draped across her husband's knee for correction may seem like part of an old-fashioned "natural order" in which accountability was expected and authority was exercised.

As for holding position, this should improve with practice. But as implements of correction are introduced, each one may present a new challenge in terms of retaining posture. OTK can assist in this respect - if you're tall enough that your hands are placed palm-down on the floor, this helps to maintain balance.

If you're not tall enough, you could try the two-chairs format. This involves two soft-seated chairs pushed together back-to-back. You kneel on the first and place your hands palms-down on the second. In this elevated all-fours posture, your bottom is perfectly presented for spanking and you have stability and security.

Hope this helps - good luck going forward.

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Lauren
Posts: 1024
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Lauren » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:30 pm

darrone wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:28 pm
In my own case, and from talking to other guys, flipping a lady OTK to spank her is classic DD practice. And since DD is often practised by "traditional" couples, the idea of a wife draped across her husband's knee for correction may seem like part of an old-fashioned "natural order" in which accountability was expected and authority was exercised.
This is probably true from a males perspective. I mean I know my husband feels manly when he has me draped across his knee. From a females perspective I believe it has more to do with connection and the feeling of security.

I am one of the ones here who seriously needs my husband to "beat" me to get the point across to me. Hand, two different paddles minimum. Usually more. I'm hard, stubborn, strong willed and a tough cookie. God bless my husband for what he does for me. Most of the implements he uses I need to be draped over the back of the couch. Or bending over the bed. But I need him to start with his hand, me over his knee. I need the closeness. I feel so close to my husband when in this position. I feel safe. I feel like I can let him take the control. Without this first step, I am dead inside. I don't feel human. He could go at it all day and we would get nowhere.

Meg
Posts: 27
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2020 2:31 am

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Meg » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:47 pm

Lauren wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:30 pm

I am one of the ones here who seriously needs my husband to "beat" me to get the point across to me. Hand, two different paddles minimum. Usually more. I'm hard, stubborn, strong willed and a tough cookie. God bless my husband for what he does for me. Most of the implements he uses I need to be draped over the back of the couch. Or bending over the bed. But I need him to start with his hand, me over his knee. I need the closeness. I feel so close to my husband when in this position. I feel safe. I feel like I can let him take the control. Without this first step, I am dead inside. I don't feel human. He could go at it all day and we would get nowhere.
Just to speak on how we can be so similar and so different... I too need to be otk with the hand to start, it definitely helps with the anxiety, but I am definitely not the “need to be beaten” types. On a scale of 1-10 I have a negative pain tolerance, please don’t beat me! :lol: Just keep in mind Twilight, you may have to try several things before you both find your groove, don’t be afraid to try new things. If a position is too uncomfortable discuss it and don’t do it again. You will get it!

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Beauty
Posts: 446
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2018 10:43 am

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Beauty » Wed Mar 25, 2020 5:54 pm

Lauren wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 6:20 pm

As far as holding position, it takes time. I don't think it is something that comes naturally to anyone due to fight or flight. Even over time if you haven't been spanked in awhile you might have to retrain your brain because it's going to say "dang, I forgot how much this hurts!"
Ugh, YES! I recently went a few weeks (maybe 3?) due to the flu. When we were well enough and payment was made... I rolled off his knee because I sure did forget how much it hurts! He did a few rounds with the cane for that error! It helped remind me why I don’t move out of position. For me, the fear of something worse normally keeps me from moving.
Happy to be taken in hand by my Beast

twilight
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:04 pm

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by twilight » Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:01 pm

Yes, I will try to remember to stay put as I struggle with pain that "this could be worse". :|

Emily
Posts: 287
Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2019 3:49 am
Location: UK

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Emily » Thu Mar 26, 2020 2:48 am

It’s certainly a lot easier to take a spanking and stay in position when you’re over the knee or lay across his lap and like Olivia said, standing in the corner prior to the spanking helps get me in the right mindset most of the time.

Linds
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:42 pm

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Linds » Fri Mar 27, 2020 2:12 pm

Hi my husband and I are new to DD. We started about a month ago. We have been married for 7 years. I also have problems staying in position. He usually uses a fly swatter or a plastic hanger and it hurts. I move and try to crawl away. Or I kick my feet. It's just so painful. I want to be submissive and stay in place, but my body won't let me. Any ideas would be helpful.

Meg
Posts: 27
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2020 2:31 am

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Meg » Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:30 pm

Linds wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 2:12 pm
Hi my husband and I are new to DD. We started about a month ago. We have been married for 7 years. I also have problems staying in position. He usually uses a fly swatter or a plastic hanger and it hurts. I move and try to crawl away. Or I kick my feet. It's just so painful. I want to be submissive and stay in place, but my body won't let me. Any ideas would be helpful.
Just my opinion, but both of these are pretty advanced implements. I recommend he start out using his hand. Someone who is that new to spanking should get a feel for what it’s like. He can judge by the sting on his hand, exactly how hard he is swinging and how is tense it is getting from the length of the spanking. Hand spanking will also be beneficial for you because it will allow you to build up to some of the more difficult spankings. Spanking isn’t something that should be rushed, you have the rest of your lives (if that’s what it takes) to build up to an EPIC spanking, take it slow and steady and build up to it appropriately to keep from causing injury.

Linds
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:42 pm

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Linds » Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:40 pm

Ok I can talk to my husband about using his hand first. The reason we started using the fly swatter and hanger was because they are relatively quiet compared to a smack with the hand. We didn't want to wake up the baby. Or have him see anything. I however was not quite. So it wasn't really working. Thanks for the advice. I wish there was a way to keep the physical punishments quiet.

Meg
Posts: 27
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2020 2:31 am

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Meg » Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:48 pm

Once you get the kids to go to bed, turn the volume up on your tv, it drowns out the noise of a spanking (you still have to be mindful of noise but not silent!). I don’t know if it makes a difference but we would turn the tv up even on nights I wasn’t getting spanked just to get my son used to the noise and able to sleep through it.

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