Holding position during your punishment

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twilight
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:04 pm

Holding position during your punishment

Post by twilight » Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:50 pm

We have been married for many years but have just recently, for the last 6 months been practicing DD. I am the one who wanted to start practicing DD in the hopes of improving our marital relationship. I found myself arguing more, disrespecting my husband and in general we were both unhappy. During this time, we have found a significant positive change in our relationship. My husband absolutely adores me. He can't get enough of me these days and our sex life has improved substantially! I felt this new relationship with my husband as the HOH and in full authority of me and I in the proper role of the submissive wife, would empower him to feel the dominant alpha male I had originally married. IT WORKED!!!!! My main issue is how to hold my position during punishment? My husband has me bend naked at the waist over our pool table, then he puts his arms under my stomach and has me arch my bottom up and out while he spanks me hard and fast. I am beside myself after the 6th spank and starting to clench my bottom and try to rise up, then he spanks me with 20 more spanks each time. It hurts SOOO BAD!! How do you other partners remain in position while accepting your punishment?

Lauren
Posts: 1156
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Lauren » Mon Mar 23, 2020 5:09 pm

I'm assuming if your husband has one hand under your stomach than he is only using his other hand to spank you? Maybe a hairbrush in that close of a proximity? I would suggest that if those one or two implements are the only ones being used than you go over his knee. That way he has control over your body. His leg can keep yours in place and the hand he is not spanking with can hold your hands if you try to reach back.

twilight
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:04 pm

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by twilight » Mon Mar 23, 2020 5:23 pm

I agree, I would much rather be over his knee. I think he feels it might be uncomfortable for me. He could sit on the bed or sofa and my upper body could rest there. I would absolutely dread the hair brush. Wouldn't it hurt 2X as hard as his hand? Plus in the realm of submissive behavior, he feels I should be able to hold position.

Lauren
Posts: 1156
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Lauren » Mon Mar 23, 2020 6:20 pm

How much an implement hurts and how much each person can take really depends on the submissive. Some people can only take a hand spanking while others need the hand plus 2 or 3 other implements during a session. Some people here think a paddle is worse than a belt. And than others think vis versa.

As far as holding position, it takes time. I don't think it is something that comes naturally to anyone due to fight or flight. Even over time if you haven't been spanked in awhile you might have to retrain your brain because it's going to say "dang, I forgot how much this hurts!"

Joshua89
Posts: 725
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 3:13 pm

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Joshua89 » Mon Mar 23, 2020 6:22 pm

When in serious trouble I have (only twice) had my hands velcro together behind my knee pits, while laying face down in the center of the bed. It made me stuck into bottoms up position. Dreadful. I'd rather just behave than get stuck again
Submissive ❤ Loving Husband + LovingAndStrict06

Meg
Posts: 29
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2020 2:31 am

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Meg » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:18 am

Not at all trying to say he isn’t spanking correctly, A.) that is the sole discretion of the spanker, and B.) I’m not one of those :lol: But, it may be that you need to acclimate to the spanking. For me, both my head and bottom have to be prepared for the onslaught. Sometimes my head gets there immediately after messing up and other times it takes some serious lecturing before it comes around (and quite honestly, as embarrassed as I am to admit it, sometimes it doesn’t happen until the spanking is half way through) but the key is to get out of the ‘fear’ or ‘resentment’ (not sure those are the exact words I want to use but it’s as close as my mind can conjure) and get more into the understanding, acceptance and repentance mind set. As for your bottom being there, I think (at least for me) that just takes time and a whole lot of spankings. Also, a word of warning, if you go periods of time without a spanking it can almost be like starting over so that kind of stinks. So, I prefaced this by saying I am not trying to criticize his method but maybe he can help by ensuring your heads right place and warming up a bit first. Some spankers think a warm up will lesson the impact of a spanking but I think you avoid that by switching it up a bit, varying the intensity throughout, using different implements, taking short breaks where you stay in position but maybe he lectures a bit. The real lecture should be over with this is more about keeping your headspace where it needs to be, keeping the anxiety at bay which is the reason most start to kick and flail, they are in a bit of a panic and just want it to end. Anyway, that’s my tips. Sorry that they are mostly for your partner but I hope they help you.

Olivia
Posts: 507
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Olivia » Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:06 am

It's so difficult!! And I haven't quite figured it out myself lol...
but as much as I dislike standing in the corner before a spanking I do find that it helps me accept the punishment and I'm in a better position to be in control...
My husband has also used the threat of starting over which has been successful at times....
He has also had me hold something worse than what he's using... so if I drop the implement I'm holding I have a choice to pick it right back up without consequence or reach back, if I reach back he will continue the spanking with whatever worse implement I was holding.... it allows my brain to think about it's reactions a bit more, I think this has been the most successful trick we've found so far
Good luck finding what will work best for you!!

Joshua89
Posts: 725
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 3:13 pm

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by Joshua89 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:08 am

I would have your husband read what meg wrote, that is pretty spot on.
Submissive ❤ Loving Husband + LovingAndStrict06

twilight
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:04 pm

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by twilight » Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:38 pm

Meg wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:18 am
Not at all trying to say he isn’t spanking correctly, A.) that is the sole discretion of the spanker, and B.) I’m not one of those :lol: But, it may be that you need to acclimate to the spanking. For me, both my head and bottom have to be prepared for the onslaught. Sometimes my head gets there immediately after messing up and other times it takes some serious lecturing before it comes around (and quite honestly, as embarrassed as I am to admit it, sometimes it doesn’t happen until the spanking is half way through) but the key is to get out of the ‘fear’ or ‘resentment’ (not sure those are the exact words I want to use but it’s as close as my mind can conjure) and get more into the understanding, acceptance and repentance mind set. As for your bottom being there, I think (at least for me) that just takes time and a whole lot of spankings. Also, a word of warning, if you go periods of time without a spanking it can almost be like starting over so that kind of stinks. So, I prefaced this by saying I am not trying to criticize his method but maybe he can help by ensuring your heads right place and warming up a bit first. Some spankers think a warm up will lesson the impact of a spanking but I think you avoid that by switching it up a bit, varying the intensity throughout, using different implements, taking short breaks where you stay in position but maybe he lectures a bit. The real lecture should be over with this is more about keeping your headspace where it needs to be, keeping the anxiety at bay which is the reason most start to kick and flail, they are in a bit of a panic and just want it to end. Anyway, that’s my tips. Sorry that they are mostly for your partner but I hope they help you.

Thank you so much for your thoughts on this. I am only spanked maybe 2 or 3 times a week, mainly for maintenance. He spanks just to the point I start to cry when he quits. I have only had 1 real punishment, and there again, it was me bent over a table. I DO fear REAL punishment, because he always threatens me "it can be a lot worse". I know he would never really hurt me and I need to be more forthcoming on the need to be spanked. We both know my main fault is that I DO tend to argue quite a bit. He will say, "did you just argue with me"? I will of course say"no" and we go on, with a warning. I told him next time I say "no" to his question or argue in any way, to seriously spank me for the (1). Arguing and (2). Lying and saying I wasn't arguing. I told him he had the right to upend me right then and there, away from public of course, and spank me good and hard to sobbing tears so I won't be so apt to say "but" or "I don't want to".

twilight
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:04 pm

Re: Holding position during your punishment

Post by twilight » Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:43 pm

Thank you all for your replies! I am so happy to have found this forum! It is a lifestyle I totally embrace and my husband of course is much happier, prouder and not above correcting me when I need it. I DO need and want accountability. I will have him read your posts and we can experiment from there!

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