About Time

Please take your time and introduce yourself to us - why Domestic Discipline, are you married, how your relationship progressed...
BooksandBelonging
Posts: 52
Joined: Sat Feb 01, 2020 4:11 pm

About Time

Post by BooksandBelonging » Tue Feb 04, 2020 5:17 am

Hi,
I joined here a few days ago. I probably should have introduced myself sooner, I was just feeling the place out. So please excuse the poor manners.
Already I have had some lovely conversation with various members, and I have seen some interesting topics.
I am not new to DD. I have been practicing this since before I knew it had a name or was common. I only found out a few years ago that this was a lifestyle, and although comforting to be a part of a community, it still seems a very frowned upon topic especially where I'm from.
My reason for joining is mainly to be able to openly speak about these things with like minded people, and feel a little more accepted in discussions. Especially so since now I am no longer in a DD relationship, for a few reasons, I feel a little lost and isolated. I have a few understanding friends who know I do this, but none of them practice or fully understand. Some were former long term house guests who deserved disclosure, some are childhood friends who grew up with me through my wild phases and poor decisions (I'm sure we've all had.) But conversation can sometimes feel quite one sided or shallow.
A little about me- I am female from the UK, quite young to be here maybe but I know what I like and what works for me and seem to always have, though in my youth some self control and self discipline may have been lacking for various reasons. I have been TiH since my very first relationship. Since then some I have asked to practice, some have been natural disciplinarians- i am not talking many short term dating periods, i am talking about possibly 4 longer term and deeply connected when speaking in plural- and some men have been unwilling and preferring of a more normal lifestyle, which doesn't seem to work for me. And i have made my fair share of mistakes in dating, leading to violence (not with practicing DD!) or extreme control. Some dating periods have just not worked out because I can feel I am the one expected to lead, and this just doesn't come naturally for me around males and in relationships men (not the case with females or in friend groups, quite the opposite actually.) Others have had no manners or etiquette and it's hard not to respond accordingly, which does not make me feel i can submit or act myself therefore I discontinue the venture. I still believe in equality up to a point. None of the former 'actual' relationships have worked out for various reasons that I won't go into here, but could perhaps create a journal if I can work up the confidence.
But i understand that everyone's idea of DD will vary person to person, even within couples.
I can be very closed off when discussing myself with a partner, not intentionally, so the thought of beginning a new relationship, then adding in a discussion about DD is quite frankly terrifying. The feeling of leaving yourself vulnerable, especially following bad experiences, can be daunting. I am very much hoping for stories and advice on how people brought this up, or met someone like minded, from both sides of the coin. This is why I like that both HoHs and TiHs are discussing freely in this group.
I would also like to hear about how people feel when not in a DD relationship, as I have to admit, it's a struggle for me after so long.
I will leave it here with this lengthy introduction! But I am very open to questions and discussions, and may start a few topics, and continue to post in others'.
So far I've enjoyed my stay, so enough about me for now, and I hope to continue the enlightening discussions as I continue to be a part of this community.
Thank you everyone or already making me feel welcomed. I am looking forward to getting to know each of you.

Emily
Posts: 540
Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2019 3:49 am
Location: UK

Re: About Time

Post by Emily » Tue Feb 04, 2020 12:21 pm

Welcome! :)
Happily married to the most wonderful and loving guy! 💖💖💖

BooksandBelonging
Posts: 52
Joined: Sat Feb 01, 2020 4:11 pm

Re: About Time

Post by BooksandBelonging » Tue Feb 04, 2020 12:33 pm

Emily wrote:
Tue Feb 04, 2020 12:21 pm
Welcome! :)
Thank you, Emily

Olivia
Posts: 786
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: About Time

Post by Olivia » Tue Feb 04, 2020 12:35 pm

Welcome!!!

BooksandBelonging
Posts: 52
Joined: Sat Feb 01, 2020 4:11 pm

Re: About Time

Post by BooksandBelonging » Tue Feb 04, 2020 12:41 pm

Olivia wrote:
Tue Feb 04, 2020 12:35 pm
Welcome!!!
Thank you, Olivia

User avatar
NateG
Posts: 919
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:34 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: About Time

Post by NateG » Tue Feb 04, 2020 1:04 pm

Welcome!

I'm always heartened when we get new members. I encourage you to post and respond whenever you can. I think a journal might be a good way for you to "tell your story". It's easier writing things down and working stuff out in your head.

Hope to see more.

Nate

BooksandBelonging
Posts: 52
Joined: Sat Feb 01, 2020 4:11 pm

Re: About Time

Post by BooksandBelonging » Tue Feb 04, 2020 1:35 pm

NateG wrote:
Tue Feb 04, 2020 1:04 pm
Welcome!

I'm always heartened when we get new members. I encourage you to post and respond whenever you can. I think a journal might be a good way for you to "tell your story". It's easier writing things down and working stuff out in your head.

Hope to see more.

Nate
Thank you for the supportive comment!
I'm not sure my experience makes a good 'story' haha but it might help me figure out a few fears and where to take things from here.

Thanks again, Nate

User avatar
NateG
Posts: 919
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:34 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: About Time

Post by NateG » Tue Feb 04, 2020 1:37 pm

Sure thing. Keep posting!

Nate

Rand E
Posts: 377
Joined: Thu Jul 12, 2018 5:45 pm
Location: Los Angeles

Re: About Time

Post by Rand E » Tue Feb 04, 2020 3:27 pm

If you were looking for a place to discuss DD with people, this is definitely it. Welcome!

User avatar
Miras
Posts: 847
Joined: Thu May 03, 2018 6:26 am
Location: Prague, Czech Republic

Re: About Time

Post by Miras » Tue Feb 04, 2020 4:37 pm

We were in contact already, but welcome!
Occasionally friendly Spencerist guy
Faktor IV of MdI - Maghan
Unofficial member of The Wicked Tribe
Putting DD back into BuDDhism

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