Hello from Sweden!

Please take your time and introduce yourself to us - why Domestic Discipline, are you married, how your relationship progressed...
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Kit
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 3:09 pm
Location: Sweden

Hello from Sweden!

Post by Kit » Fri Jul 16, 2021 8:26 am

Hi, I'm Kit and new here!

I've been trying to pick up the courage to introduce myself, so I'm just going to stop thinking about what I should or shouldn't write and just write a very honest introduction. I'm probably going to come off as unconventional to some of you and maybe you'll end up feeling all your suspicions of Swedes have been confirmed. From my few days of lurking around the forum I've often been struck by how interested in and open to others experiences people here seem to be, though, so I think it'll go ok.

I am a 43 year old tomboyish woman who lives in Stockholm. I like gardening, cooking, nature hikes, going on roadtrips (despite my terrible sense of direction), discussing lofty matters with friends and reading an awful lot of books. My nickname, Kit, is a character from one of my favourite books, who I identify somewhat with (I wonder if there are any booklovers here who can guess which book it is).

My partner for 20 years and I used to have a DD style dynamic in our relationship when we were younger, but we plainly called it discipline then. I was definitely more into it than he was, even though I think deep down he is in many ways well suited for this kind of relationship. In other ways it doesn't suit him at all, which is why he chose to end our dynamic something like ten years ago. Since then we've had an entirely platonic, but loving, open relationship. We are both bi and have occational same sex lovers. Though neither of us would have a problem with the other having a lover of the opposite sex, it just never happens. We live together quite harmoniously. We've never had kids, by concious choice.

Ever since we ended our DD dynamic, it's been hard for me to leave it behind emotionally, even though I don't need it to feel happy and fulfilled in my life. I still crave the feeling of devotion that comes from letting go of my self-determination and submitting to someone I trust and love and to a structure set by that person, though. I also find that the experience of being held accountible for my actions through correction from that person made me feel more aware of my daily choises and behaviors in a way that made me more present and made me act more purposefully in many ways. It also made me feel really safe and loved (but my partner makes me feel that in many other ways now).

I know that the DD dynamic is considered exclusively something between life partners, and that's not going to happen for me: my partner clearly doesn't want it, and I love him deeply and would never leave him because he feels that way, so actually I don't really fit in here. I'm on this forum, I think, to try to reconnect to the concept of DD, and think about if there are aspects of it that are important enough for me that I can find them in a relationship with another partner (like a big brother/big sister influence in my life) or if I should just let it go entirely. I'll probably not engage in many discussions, but, hey, at least I'm not a lurker anymore!

Summer
Posts: 194
Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2021 3:29 pm
Location: Missouri

Re: Hello from Sweden!

Post by Summer » Fri Jul 16, 2021 5:02 pm

Welcome 🙂🙂

Kit
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 3:09 pm
Location: Sweden

Re: Hello from Sweden!

Post by Kit » Sat Jul 17, 2021 2:37 am

Thank you, Summer!

Axel
Posts: 113
Joined: Wed Dec 09, 2020 4:12 pm
Location: Sweden

Re: Hello from Sweden!

Post by Axel » Sat Jul 17, 2021 9:29 am

Hej Kit!
You're the first Swede I've seen on this Forum! (Expect me and my wife, that is...)
We're in Stockholm. Love to know you better.
Axel (and Maria)

Lesley
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat May 02, 2020 7:07 am

Re: Hello from Sweden!

Post by Lesley » Sat Jul 17, 2021 11:18 am

Welcome😀

Kit
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 3:09 pm
Location: Sweden

Re: Hello from Sweden!

Post by Kit » Mon Jul 19, 2021 6:50 am

Hejsan Axel och Maria!

Amazing to run into other Swedes here!

It would be lovely to meet you sometime. I am still a few weeks away from my second vaccination, so I'm laying low with socializing for a while still. But after that, maybe a fika sometime?

Kit
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 3:09 pm
Location: Sweden

Re: Hello from Sweden!

Post by Kit » Mon Jul 19, 2021 6:50 am

Thank you for the welcome, Lesley!

Axel
Posts: 113
Joined: Wed Dec 09, 2020 4:12 pm
Location: Sweden

Re: Hello from Sweden!

Post by Axel » Mon Jul 19, 2021 12:21 pm

am still a few weeks away from my second vaccination,
So is Maria. Love to meet you too!
Feel free to pm us.
Axel

Starry
Posts: 20
Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2021 8:16 am

Re: Hello from Sweden!

Post by Starry » Mon Jul 19, 2021 4:45 pm

Welcome!
Kit from The Witch of Blackbird Pond?
I understand about needing the discipline, and I hope you find an arrangement that works for you.

Kit
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 3:09 pm
Location: Sweden

Re: Hello from Sweden!

Post by Kit » Tue Jul 20, 2021 8:25 am

Hi Starry and thanks for the welcome!

Oh, I've never heard of Kit and the Witch of Blackbird Pond, I have to google it! No this book is by one of the greatest existentialist American writers, which was also adapted for the screen in the 90s, a quite good movie, but not quite as goid as the book, I think

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