starting off with DD questions

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DDwife
Posts: 329
Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2018 2:37 pm
Location: southwest, USA

starting off with DD questions

Post by DDwife » Fri Oct 26, 2018 4:28 pm

HI,

Starting DD and working a day job means for me my house chores are neglected. HOH and I are starting to talk about what I can do to be a better wife while working. My job keeps me glued to the computer for easily 6 hours a day. We were talking about house chores and how I do not stay on top of them. Should i just let HOH create the rules and then just follow them or should I be giving out ideas to help me? We are equals and do not believe in the Bible's version of a wife laid out in Titus 3 I believe. That passiage makes the wife sound like she is a slave to her husband. But since we are equals, how can we help me become a better working wife without being turned into a slave?
Desiring Discipline to help me change!

Lauren
Posts: 691
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: starting off with DD questions

Post by Lauren » Fri Oct 26, 2018 4:49 pm

Like I said in my other reply to you, most couples decide the rules together. You're more than welcome to give your opinion! You should never ever feel like a slave. (Christian wife or not) ;) Yes, you are both equals. But someone needs to be the leader. It doesn't work when two people try to rule everything. You're just going to butt heads that way. The nice thing about DD is that a couple can openly talk about any situation, both parties are heard and a decision is made. Harmony!!

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sweetie
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Location: United Kingdom

Re: starting off with DD questions

Post by sweetie » Fri Oct 26, 2018 5:02 pm

DDwife, I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer to your question. What I’ve learnt from this forum is that DD is as far removed from one-size-fits-all as you can get. I think a successful DD relationship comes from using DD to complement the existing dynamic in the relationship and build on it for the benefit of both spouses.

If you’re equals now, then I believe you can be equals in a DD relationship too. I would say MrsSweetie and I are equals although, as my wife would probably put it, “We’re equals, sweetie, but one of us is more equal than the other.” And that’s fine because you can’t have DD without a HoH. Even before DD, I was naturally submissive, my wife naturally dominant, so when we agreed to give DD a go it was a natural extension of our relationship.

So back to being equals. I think it’s very important both of you discuss this and agree but, before that discussion, I’d suggest you both independently give thought to it. For you, DDwife, what rules do you want? What areas would you like to improve? What would help you be a better submissive wife for your husband? And for your husband it’s the same but from his perspective.

Hopefully, when you discuss and compare notes you’ll have similar thoughts and ideas, but it’s important you give consideration to things one of you thought important that the other didn’t, ask questions and understand why one of you thought it important, although it’s often best to start with rules you both agree on and think important. And try not to have too many rules to start with.

Both of you may need to compromise on some things and, ultimately, it may come down to one of you being more equal than the other which is where your HoH would have the final say. It’s best though to start with the rules you agree on as, speaking as the submissive spouse, you need to trust your HoH for DD to work and that only comes with time and experience.
sweetie x
Please inform MrsSweetie, my HoH, if I'm in any way impolite, disrespectful, inapproptiate, or cause any offence

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DDwife
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Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2018 2:37 pm
Location: southwest, USA

Re: starting off with DD questions

Post by DDwife » Fri Oct 26, 2018 5:07 pm

thank you Ms lauren and Sweetie.

What rules do I want? was asked by Sweetie: I have never thought of it that way. I guess I would have to say I want the following rules:

1. Do not yell or raise voice to HOH
2. keep up with house chores
3. get enough sleep
4. work max 6 hours a day
5. trust HOH completely

What areas do I want to change in?
1. change my attitude
2. be more open to HOH
3. stay on top of house chores
4. get proper sleep

What would help you be a better submissive wife for your husband?
1. being held accountable for my actions
2. having punishments put into place
3. have maintenance spankings everyday
Desiring Discipline to help me change!

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