Domestic Discipline blog: Pros and Cons of Domestic Discipline

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Domestic Discipline blog: Pros and Cons of Domestic Discipline

Post by blogposts » Thu Mar 14, 2019 12:34 pm

In both our personal experiences and the experiences of other practicing couples we talk to about domestic discipline, the pros and cons are generally the same.  That isn’t to say EVERY couple will agree with all of these pros and cons, but they’re certainly the most common ones we’ve come across.  This also isn’t to say these are ALL of the pros and cons any given couple will experience.  As we know, every relationship/marriage is different and every practicing domestic discipline couple is going to have...

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DesertRose
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: Pros and Cons of Domestic Discipline

Post by DesertRose » Fri Mar 15, 2019 7:34 pm

Thank you for this fantastic article.
The Cons you mentioned are not really cons though ;)
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

sassyqtee
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: Pros and Cons of Domestic Discipline

Post by sassyqtee » Sun Apr 14, 2019 2:32 pm

There are many cons to this lifestyle. My husband and I make sure that we are truthful and honest about our marriage and what goals we have. I’m not too active in online forums because it appears that the group concensus is that the woman has to be broken and ineffective of making changes and experiencing growth. Discipline and spanking becomes the entire dynamic. Personally since no one is paying my bills I don’t care how ppl live but I rebuke and reject that I have to be treated like a zany sitcom housewife in need of constant spankings for breaking rules I agreed to. We didn’t start this for spanking but to address and eliminate the challenges in our marriage causing conflict and tension. We wanted a great marriage and that’s what we use DD as, a tool to ensure we are both accountable to the agreements we have. We both make effort to have a great marriage.

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Sassyclouds
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: Pros and Cons of Domestic Discipline

Post by Sassyclouds » Wed Jan 08, 2020 7:44 am

I just read this. What a great comment sassyqtee!! I miss having a husband and him being my HOH and I loved being spanked, but I agree with you completely. I've noticed some HOHs think a woman is incapable of taking care of herself and/or making the right decisions all on her own. I personally love a man to take charge. I want a man to be my HOH. I want to submit to him, but I am not stupid. I am not a child. I am gifting him with my heart, trust and submission. I am single now, though 😥
I had a marriage with DD. I definitely want that again, if I ever get married again. The closeness and secure feeling in DD was wonderful. The love and respect is amplified after a discipline spanking.... I miss it. I miss having an HOH to help me.

Chamed
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: Pros and Cons of Domestic Discipline

Post by Chamed » Wed Jan 08, 2020 10:05 am

What ever is right for your marriage is what is right! I married in 1974 and DD was totally unknown to us. I loved this girl but she had been raised a Psycho mom. there were so many bad thoughts mom put in her brain. particularly it was better to lie to mom. To tell her what she wanted to hear. A number of things were said about her body shape, her intelligence etc. Truly my wife would have been better off if her mom spanked her often instead of berating her. She knew she needed to re parented. So we agreed and while we were engaged, if I caught her in a lie, I spanked her. Not bare but over clothing. Even at that time lies were over little things. Say if I asked her if she had on a new dress she would say no but she had recently bought it. And we weren't married so it was her money. Most people would have just answered yes.
After we were married, I punished her every time I caught her in a lie. At first she was punished often. We also developed other punishments. it diminished with time. By five years I don't remember needing to punish her again. By we had developed great skill at talking things out. From what I learn about DD the talking is the main key and with things like punishment sometimes a necessary adjunct.

Lee C
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: Pros and Cons of Domestic Discipline

Post by Lee C » Wed Jan 08, 2020 10:26 am

sassyqtee wrote:
Sun Apr 14, 2019 2:32 pm
...to address and eliminate the challenges in our marriage causing conflict and tension. We wanted a great marriage and that’s what we use DD as, a tool to ensure we are both accountable to the agreements we have. We both make effort to have a great marriage.
This was, and remains, my primary interest in DD. As the bottom, I really have no interest in anything that degrades a woman, especially not a wife in marriage.

I live in Pennsylvania, teach and play music primarily in New York. I have seen/experienced the degrading attitudes time and time again from those who believe in female superiority. That somehow men are incapable of anything but brutish, boorish behavior. (Yes I know, they certainly do exist.) There just simply is no place for either men or women to treat each other with such disregard and disrespect when it is our due as human beings to be valued and treated with dignity and respect.
My dream is to love my wife and be loved by her and I am willing to submit to her disciplinary authority so that I can be the best I can be to serve her and others.

Lee C
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: Pros and Cons of Domestic Discipline

Post by Lee C » Wed Jan 08, 2020 10:32 am

Sassyclouds wrote:
Wed Jan 08, 2020 7:44 am
I personally love a man to take charge. I want a man to be my HOH. I want to submit to him, but I am not stupid. I am not a child. I am gifting him with my heart, trust and submission. I am single now, though 😥
I signed on partly to have a place to share with others this thing we do, or want to do. I have never had anyone to talk to about this who understands. I count Sassyclouds as a friend since talking with her and she has perfectly summed up who and what I am in my own desires and goals.

Of course the distinction is that it applies to the fairer sex in my case. :D

And man oh man is there something sexy about a woman who takes charge....!
My dream is to love my wife and be loved by her and I am willing to submit to her disciplinary authority so that I can be the best I can be to serve her and others.

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Sassyclouds
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: Pros and Cons of Domestic Discipline

Post by Sassyclouds » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:07 am

I am so sorry, my dear friend 😃 I meant any TIH, not just women.

I didn't mean to make the person who started this pros vs cons thread feel bad. I'm sorry about that. I was jumping in on the comment sassyqtee left. She is correct.

Ok. Pros, for me: I feel more respectful and submissive after a discipline spanking. I feel more in love and loved by my HOH after a spanking. There are less fights, obviously 😆 but, most importantly, the closeness a couple shares is just magnified, beautifully, when living a loving, domestic discipline marriage/relationship ❤

Cons for me: This type of lifestyle can make a marriage harder if BOTH people don't want it. You can not force a person to suddenly want to spank or be spanked. An HOH takes on a big responsibility in his or her role, so if the HOH is not responsible or deserving of the TIHs respect, than the marriage will become abusive. The TIH will be spanked harsh and in anger and undeserving. Then, the HOH will be inconsistent or the TIH will be confused... Basically, it's a serious lifestyle to live. You have to be careful. I think it "helped" ruin mine 😥

BIG CON: BOTH MOST WANT TO LIVE THIS WAY. WHEN MY HUSBAND DIDN'T DO IT CONSISTENTLY OR COMPLAINED ABOUT DD, I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T WANT THIS ANYMORE. I TOLD HIM I NO LONGER WANT TO BE PHYSICALLY PUNISHED BY HIM. HE SAID, IT'S TOO LATE, I CONSENTED IN THE BEGINNING....yet, I still wanted my marriage to work, because I loved my husband with my whole heart and soul 😥

Once, my husband said I was ungrateful. He punished me with different implements and gave me 18 per letter. I did NOT deserve that spanking. I was not ungrateful. I was upset. I was disappointed. I was stressed. Not ungrateful. But, I was so happy that he seemed serious about DD, that I submitted. Ok, we TIHs are suppose to submit to our punishments...but, sometimes, I fought it. He was so much stronger than me, so I always lost. Those were usually quick, short, hard spankings. Like once I was too tired to stay up late with him. He got mad and spanked me!! Not fair 😥

Sorry I wrote a book 😆
I had a marriage with DD. I definitely want that again, if I ever get married again. The closeness and secure feeling in DD was wonderful. The love and respect is amplified after a discipline spanking.... I miss it. I miss having an HOH to help me.

Lee C
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: Pros and Cons of Domestic Discipline

Post by Lee C » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:32 am

Sassyclouds wrote:
Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:07 am
I am so sorry, my dear friend 😃 I meant any TIH, not just women.

Did I come across as whiny or vindictive (or something like that)? God I hope not! If I did, I'm really glad you pointed it out. I expect my friends to call me out too! I certainly knew you did not mean anything negative by your original response.

My response was meant to say that I understand too and I agree. I know men have done their share of hurting women but I've seen women do some pretty first-rate jobs of hurting men too.

I do such a terrible job of expressing myself at times. Nothing I say is meant to offend or hurt but to share and help where I can. If I failed in that, I will do whatever I must to make up for it.

One of my faults is that I try too damn hard and I bet I'm doing it again but it's my nature. So if I misunderstood (and/or if I'm the wrong person responding to this post), forgive me for not getting it right.

And just for the record, no need to apologize to me. You've done nothing to apologize for. Nothing at all!
My dream is to love my wife and be loved by her and I am willing to submit to her disciplinary authority so that I can be the best I can be to serve her and others.

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Sassyclouds
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: Pros and Cons of Domestic Discipline

Post by Sassyclouds » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:46 am

Relax 😉 I know a lot of men are TIHs. So, I was apologizing to them as well 😃
I had a marriage with DD. I definitely want that again, if I ever get married again. The closeness and secure feeling in DD was wonderful. The love and respect is amplified after a discipline spanking.... I miss it. I miss having an HOH to help me.

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