Domestic Discipline blog: How To Trust My Husband And Let Go

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Domestic Discipline blog: How To Trust My Husband And Let Go

Post by blogposts » Tue Nov 27, 2018 10:58 am

A few months ago we were standing outside of a car dealership (in the ridiculous heat and humidity of North Carolina) and I wasn’t happy (that might be an understatement). We had just spent the better part of 2 hours looking at cars, and we had drastically different opinions on what we wanted. I wanted an SUV (and a super cute looking one at that!) because that’s what we were used to having and with kids it just seemed so much more practical while my husband was all about fuel efficiency – and that’s something that most SUVs didn’t have. As we were...

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AlphaWife
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: How To Trust My Husband And Let Go

Post by AlphaWife » Tue Nov 27, 2018 2:19 pm

I had something similar like this happen earlier this year except it was dealing with a bathroom remodel. We had gone on a week-long vacation, but while we were gone, a pipe in our bathroom burst and flooded the bathroom. Luckily we had a neighbor with a key to our place in case of an emergency, noticed and shut off the water. We had just bought and moved into this place six months prior.

Anyway, our vacation was cut short a day. My fiance is a plumber by trade and an overall handyman. He diagnosed the problem, and it had caused some external damage, and the leak had likely been undetected before we even moved in. So we pretty much had to gut our bathroom.

While he was changing the plumbing in the bathroom, I was looking at what I wanted to do with the bathroom. While I didn't mind the layout in the bathroom, I thought since we had to gut everything, I wanted to change the layout. Move the bathtub where the sink and toilet was. He said it wasn't practical and that it would require more labour than needed.

Me being me, I debated it. In the end, I didn't get what I wanted, because he just told me he wasn't going to do it, and if I wanted it, then I could hire someone. That would have cost thousands of dollars easily, so I relented, and let him have his way. I was disappointed, but now that I look at the big picture, he was right. It wouldn't have made much difference, and the bathroom turned out great.
Married since May 2019 Together for 6.5 years. DD for 4 years.

TheGoodWifeLife
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Location: Tennessee, USA

Re: Domestic Discipline blog: How To Trust My Husband And Let Go

Post by TheGoodWifeLife » Tue Nov 27, 2018 2:47 pm

Dh and I have never argued about any vehicle purchases for me to drive, so I guess I’m lucky there, but a few years ago, when he started looking for a new truck, we did come to an impass. He fell in love with a huge, lifted, loud, 3/4 ton, Diesel. For the money he was spending on a 2 year old diesel like this, he could’ve gotten a brand new, completely loaded, gas truck. Diesel fuel is more expensive. We live in a city and he’s not hauling heavy things with his truck regularly. He’s driving in traffic. I did choose to ultimately support his choice, but in my mind, I thought he was making a huge mistake! Now, almost 4 years later, I’m in love with his truck lol! He’s talked about trading it for a new gas truck, and it makes me sad now. It’s like we flip flopped and now he’s thinking like I was, but I totally get why he liked this truck so much. The kids, the dog, and I can always hear dh when he’s turning down our street in this truck. We’ve had some fun going off roading and helping pull other vehicles from ditches. He still gets a lot of other guys admiring his 6 year old truck, and it hasn’t even lost much value. (Which dh knew would happen when it came time to sell it). I know it’s not the same situation, but it’s funny how dead set we can be one minute, and later feel completely different. Big purchases can be so stressful. It’s usually ME who wants to be economical, and dh who wants the extra buttons and gadgets lol. He’s never made a decision where he didn’t consider his family’s best interests though. I know that he’s always thinking ahead and wants us to succeed, not fail. That’s what I have to remember when we don’t agree. It is scary when it’s a choice that affects the whole family. I’ve been blessed that we haven’t had a situation that ever turned out bad for us, whether it was what I wanted or not.
Sassy Southern Wife & Mama & follower of Jesus

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DesertRose
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: How To Trust My Husband And Let Go

Post by DesertRose » Sat Dec 15, 2018 10:58 am

It seems that submission is harder than I think it is .. even if I believe that I am naturally submissive, I haven't put it into practice yet.

I have a question though, is "I told you so!!" punishable?
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

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Miras
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: How To Trust My Husband And Let Go

Post by Miras » Sat Dec 15, 2018 11:24 am

DesertRose wrote:
Sat Dec 15, 2018 10:58 am
It seems that submission is harder than I think it is .. even if I believe that I am naturally submissive, I haven't put it into practice yet.

I have a question though, is "I told you so!!" punishable?
I´m on a thin ice here, but I would say it depends on a tone.
Occasionally friendly Spencerist guy
Faktor IV of MdI - Maghan
Unofficial member of The Wicked Tribe
Putting DD back into BuDDhism

SurrealSD
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: How To Trust My Husband And Let Go

Post by SurrealSD » Sat Dec 15, 2018 1:42 pm

DesertRose wrote:
Sat Dec 15, 2018 10:58 am
It seems that submission is harder than I think it is .. even if I believe that I am naturally submissive, I haven't put it into practice yet.
Submission can be the hardest thing in the word.

I've had this discussion with my mom, a naturally submissive wife, a couple of times. I think back to when I was 12 or 13 and my grandfather died and my father decided we were going to sell our house in the city, my parents were going to quit their jobs, and we were all going to move out to his family farm to help his mother. NONE of us wanted to go. My mom had to leave the career she had been in for nearly 20 years where she was well-paid and respected, we had to leave our church and our friends. My brother who was 19 flat-out refused to go and decided to go live in his car. I remember Mom driving me home from school and both of us crying and praying that God would change Dad's mind. When I became an adult, my mother told me it took everything she had not to file for divorce.

But we moved and things turned out okay. I'm not going to say "for the best" because of course we don't know how it would have turned out otherwise. More than 20 years later things are still strained between my brother and my parents. I spent the next few years deeply depressed and resenting the move. But mom submitted in the end and I deeply admire her strength for it.
But first, have you tried sitting down with your partner and telling them honestly how you feel?

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DesertRose
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: How To Trust My Husband And Let Go

Post by DesertRose » Sat Dec 15, 2018 3:21 pm

Miras wrote:
Sat Dec 15, 2018 11:24 am
I´m on a thin ice here, but I would say it depends on a tone.
I agree with you... but still, it shows lack of trust in the HoH unless it is said playfully.
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

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DesertRose
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: How To Trust My Husband And Let Go

Post by DesertRose » Sat Dec 15, 2018 3:24 pm

SurrealSD wrote:
Sat Dec 15, 2018 1:42 pm
Submission can be the hardest thing in the word.

I've had this discussion with my mom, a naturally submissive wife, a couple of times. I think back to when I was 12 or 13 and my grandfather died and my father decided we were going to sell our house in the city, my parents were going to quit their jobs, and we were all going to move out to his family farm to help his mother. NONE of us wanted to go. My mom had to leave the career she had been in for nearly 20 years where she was well-paid and respected, we had to leave our church and our friends. My brother who was 19 flat-out refused to go and decided to go live in his car. I remember Mom driving me home from school and both of us crying and praying that God would change Dad's mind. When I became an adult, my mother told me it took everything she had not to file for divorce.

But we moved and things turned out okay. I'm not going to say "for the best" because of course we don't know how it would have turned out otherwise. More than 20 years later things are still strained between my brother and my parents. I spent the next few years deeply depressed and resenting the move. But mom submitted in the end and I deeply admire her strength for it.
What your mother did was brave.. she did not only submit, but also showed a great loyalty to your father, she did not have to, that's why it is admirable.
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

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Miras
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: How To Trust My Husband And Let Go

Post by Miras » Sat Dec 15, 2018 3:41 pm

DesertRose wrote:
Sat Dec 15, 2018 3:21 pm
Miras wrote:
Sat Dec 15, 2018 11:24 am
I´m on a thin ice here, but I would say it depends on a tone.
I agree with you... but still, it shows lack of trust in the HoH unless it is said playfully.
Well, I guess playfulness can be quite effective to convey a lot diplomaticaly.
Occasionally friendly Spencerist guy
Faktor IV of MdI - Maghan
Unofficial member of The Wicked Tribe
Putting DD back into BuDDhism

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DesertRose
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Re: Domestic Discipline blog: How To Trust My Husband And Let Go

Post by DesertRose » Sat Dec 15, 2018 4:02 pm

Miras wrote:
Sat Dec 15, 2018 3:41 pm
Well, I guess playfulness can be quite effective to convey a lot diplomaticaly.
Playful, not sarcastic.
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

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