I fear punishment spankings most of the time. I’m pretty sure that my heart rate rises at least 50 bpm anytime I hear him open the drawer where he keeps our jumbo wooden spoon— when that thing comes out, I know he means business. If i’m being spanked for something small, he’s told me he won’t use the worst implements, and I know it’s just going to be a quick correction, I might have more of a “let’s just get this painful crap over with so we can move on” attitude. Same goes for maintenance which (at least for us) is designed to help me avoid the pain and fear that comes with punishment and isn’t supposed to be a constant source of anxiety.
I think I feel the most fear when I have something to confess to him. Not knowing how he’s going to react or how/when/if I’m going to be punished is more terrifying than the spanking itself. At that point I’m also scared of losing my precious computer and phone privileges — losing those for a week or more is scarier for me than any spanking... #millenial
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