For Anyone Interested in DD

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Award01
Posts: 65
Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2020 1:01 am

For Anyone Interested in DD

Post by Award01 » Tue Sep 22, 2020 2:41 pm

I wanted to tell you something that may help with the communication in your relationship/marriage. I didn't realize what I'm about to tell you until late in our marriage. If you look at your husband as your equal you will have a difficult time respecting him. You have to learn to look to him as your partner but a partner that has authority. If I could compare it to any dynamic I would say it's like you both work at a company and you're a supervisor and he's your general manager. He has to learn how to exercise his headship in a fair way that respects you and makes you feel valued while also not allowing certain things to be tolerated such as disrespect. In a secular job if we undermined our boss or disrespected their leadership we could get written up or fired. This isn't saying your husband has the right to separate or divorce you if you did those things, obviously he doesn't. I'm just saying a man that can't exercise his authority in a loving way only has the title of being the head instead of you really looking at him that way. And you want to view him in that light because that will deepen your respect for him. I researched a lot to find the answer to what we were missing. I don't want you guys to struggle with your roles. It's a very 1950s traditional approach to marriage but there's a reason why divorce rates were lower back then lol. I'm in no way saying women should be treated like slaves or that they are less important than their husbands. Our roles are just different. I think because of feminism men are viewed as being controlling if they expect certain things from their wives. But honestly if he doesn't have standards or expectations for his wife he probably doesn't have confidence in his ability to lead or confidence in himself as a man. That will be unattractive to her and she won't respect him. It's not a parent/child relationship but there are similarities. If I tell my child that he is not to yell at me but then he does and I don't discipline or correct him then he sees me as a joke and he'll do whatever he wants and won't have respect for me. If a man can't gain control of his wife (in a non-abusive way) she won't respect him. She won't see him as someone requiring respect and he won't feel respected. So guess what will happen? You'll start raising your voice at him and because he really has no authority he's going to show he's out of control and start yelling back. Then you have a bunch of drama. But if he could maintain his composure and know how to "tame" you, he'll earn your respect. Since he then feels respected he'll be moved to show you the love you want and need. I would definitely talk to your fiance or boyfriend if the relationship is heading towards marriage about this because you want him to be wearing the pants in your relationship. It might feel embarrassing to talk to him about him holding you accountable if you disrespect him or go against his direction, but you both are about to enter a beautiful union and it really will be a sense of comfort knowing you have structure in your home and a man willing to help you fulfill your role. How he would do that is something you guys would need to talk about. It will look different for each couple.

Jacob HF
Posts: 156
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2020 10:53 am
Location: Sacramento, CA

Re: For Anyone Interested in DD

Post by Jacob HF » Tue Sep 22, 2020 5:28 pm

Well put!

--Jacob

Daninygirl
Posts: 20
Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2020 2:00 pm

Re: For Anyone Interested in DD

Post by Daninygirl » Tue Sep 22, 2020 7:30 pm

Well put! I compared this lifestyle to working outside the home as well! I think it was in the topic motivating the hoh in the submissive partners section.

babybear_4_TB
Posts: 37
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2020 9:00 pm

Re: For Anyone Interested in DD

Post by babybear_4_TB » Wed Sep 23, 2020 9:13 am

Well put and great analogy.
baby bear

TiH by my Husband TeddyBear.

Please contact him if I am out of line.

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DesertRose
Posts: 653
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 1:34 pm

Re: For Anyone Interested in DD

Post by DesertRose » Thu Sep 24, 2020 3:42 pm

I agree with every word you wrote. Every single woman should read this, or even a married woman who's struggling in her marriage.

Yes, men and women are equal in their value in society, but different in their roles.
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

49ergal63
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 2:34 pm

Re: For Anyone Interested in DD

Post by 49ergal63 » Sat Sep 26, 2020 6:47 pm

Wonderfully put. Thank you for that perspective.

Heronswood
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2021 12:38 pm

Re: For Anyone Interested in DD

Post by Heronswood » Sat Mar 27, 2021 1:01 pm

I found this info really helpful. I'm at the end of a long marriage and will be seeking a committed relationship with a man who would also like (and can handle) a DD situation. Can you give any advice as to how I can show a prospective partner this from the time we meet? The idea of this kind of respect really appeals to me, but I want to attract the right type of man by my respectful and submissive attitude towards him.

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NateG
Posts: 804
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:34 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: For Anyone Interested in DD

Post by NateG » Sat Mar 27, 2021 9:17 pm

I think you can start to bring up what you are looking for in a marriage or relationship fairly soon after dating the first time or two. In some ways, you might be able to tell if a person you are dating can be a HoH and a leading man. Of course if you are young, there is time for him to grow into it..but if you are older...then there is not really time for that. You can see dominate traits right way. Look for his decision making skills. Does he always want you to decide what to do or where to go or what to eat? Or is he pretty decisive on those things. Does he seem to have set principles...usually on the conservative side, but not always. Believes in God is often a trait of a natural Hoh...but again..not always. Any military experience, church going?

I have a submissive friend who is looking for a good HoH man. Usually after the first date...maybe the 2nd...we can tell.....Nope! Still looking. Don't be afraid to let them know how you think the roles should be in a relationship. If he looks uncomfortable at all...or if he has the National Association For Women...on speed dial...then run.

Nate

Heronswood
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2021 12:38 pm

Re: For Anyone Interested in DD

Post by Heronswood » Sun Mar 28, 2021 3:26 am

Thanks for the advice Nate!

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NateG
Posts: 804
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:34 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: For Anyone Interested in DD

Post by NateG » Tue Mar 30, 2021 2:37 pm

You are welcome.

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