He said "No"

geeman
Posts: 203
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2018 1:32 pm

Re: He said "No"

Post by geeman » Thu Jan 24, 2019 9:21 am

Desert, I have a few observations. They may or may not be meaningful.

First thing is you said this was done in a text chat. Personally, I think that approach is fraught with problems. People interpret things differently, they can't see your expression, your sincerity. You don't have the ability to see theirs and explain or re-direct. None of that.

Secondly, you said you are dating but the opening line is "....when we get married.". I have no idea what the state of your relationship is but is it possible seeing the word 'married' turned him off? Maybe he's not there yet. Of course, maybe the two of you have already had this talk and he's ready for marriage. I'm merely guessing.

I also think trying to find someone into DD is very, very difficult. It's one thing to have a dominant personality, it's another to manage a DD relationship, with rules, punishments and all of the expectations that come with that. I was lucky, my wife is a natural and handing out punishments, rules and chores comes very naturally to her. But I think it's rare. I would not let what happened deflate you. I would continue dating and slowly introduce some concepts to him. I'm in an FLR because my marriage would not work otherwise...and it took us a long time to realize that. But I could also be in a traditional relationship and be fine with it. I just happen to be deeply in love with my wife so submitting to her and accepting her discipline is very easy for me.

SurrealSD
Posts: 229
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 9:12 am

Re: He said "No"

Post by SurrealSD » Thu Jan 24, 2019 10:17 am

Guys, this is from August and she's no longer dating this guy.
But first, have you tried sitting down with your partner and telling them honestly how you feel?

Lauren
Posts: 840
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: He said "No"

Post by Lauren » Thu Jan 24, 2019 10:37 am

This is what happens when new people jump in without knowing context or other people's CURRENT status.

AddyJane
Posts: 234
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2018 1:26 pm

Re: He said "No"

Post by AddyJane » Thu Jan 24, 2019 11:21 am

Yep, not in context, but you know what, there some good take aways there. I know we have some old DD and dating threads... if sweetie was here I’m sure he could post the links.

Maybe we should start a general DD and Dating advice thread?

DessertRose has been so kind and honest in sharing her journey; but I bet there are others who could benefit or chime in!? ;)
Lauren wrote:
Thu Jan 24, 2019 10:37 am
This is what happens when new people jump in without knowing context or other people's CURRENT status.

SurrealSD
Posts: 229
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 9:12 am

Re: He said "No"

Post by SurrealSD » Thu Jan 24, 2019 6:40 pm

AddyJane wrote:
Thu Jan 24, 2019 11:21 am

Maybe we should start a general DD and Dating advice thread?
Miras started one but it didn't get much traffic. I'll see if I can find it when I get to my laptop.
But first, have you tried sitting down with your partner and telling them honestly how you feel?

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Miras
Posts: 568
Joined: Thu May 03, 2018 6:26 am
Location: Prague, Czech Republic

Re: He said "No"

Post by Miras » Fri Jan 25, 2019 1:53 am

SurrealSD wrote:
Thu Jan 24, 2019 6:40 pm
AddyJane wrote:
Thu Jan 24, 2019 11:21 am

Maybe we should start a general DD and Dating advice thread?
Miras started one but it didn't get much traffic. I'll see if I can find it when I get to my laptop.
It´s here - viewtopic.php?f=2&t=857
Occasionally friendly Spencerist guy
Faktor IV of MdI - Maghan
Unofficial member of The Wicked Tribe
Putting DD back into BuDDhism

Goldilocks
Posts: 501
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2017 2:34 pm
Location: Ohio

Re: He said "No"

Post by Goldilocks » Fri Jan 25, 2019 8:02 am

AddyJane wrote:
Thu Jan 24, 2019 11:21 am
Yep, not in context, but you know what, there some good take aways there. I know we have some old DD and dating threads... if sweetie was here I’m sure he could post the links.

Maybe we should start a general DD and Dating advice thread?

DessertRose has been so kind and honest in sharing her journey; but I bet there are others who could benefit or chime in!? ;)


I agree! Past posts and answers to older posts can sometimes help a lot of DD beginners find answers. Experienced DDers offer good advice to common or uncommon questions. Everyone's point of view is valuable.
Loving submissive wife to PapaBear.

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