Newbie with a red hiney

Duncandeedee1
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Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:27 pm

Newbie with a red hiney

Post by Duncandeedee1 » Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:38 pm

So, some background. We've been married for 10+ years. I've always had issues with submission and my HOH has always, therefore, had issues with leading our home. So, we recently began our journey of domestic discipline.

We sat down and made a list of what he sees as a submissive wife, what I think it is, and the same for the role of Head of Household. We decided together to do a 2-week boot camp of sorts to mesh out our physical, emotional, and spiritual expectations. One of the things we agreed upon was my asking for a beginner spanking daily and him choosing to or not to give me one. So far, this is day 3 and I've asked and received warm-ups and beginner spanks all 3 days both consisting of 15 licks each as explained on this site. We also agreed that there will be no negotiating the contract until the 2 weeks are up.

Well, let me tell you...I'm wavering. Here are my questions:
1) Is a daily spanking for two weeks too much?
2) Have any of you had similar experiences of wavering?
3) This is not a question but I'd sure love some encouragement...

CassLynn
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Re: Newbie with a red hiney

Post by CassLynn » Fri Jul 20, 2018 5:38 pm

I’ve been a sub for three months in a formal DD arrangement. I got spanked that much at first too. I did have lots of doubts but I got over them all. It’s a big change to make and I asked all the hard questions and answered them and asked them again but now I’ve been comfortable with the whole thing for weeks. I was just thinking today what if I HAD to stop DD right now—how would I feel about it and what would I miss? I thought I would hate if I had to stop it. I would miss many things. Mostly how closely it connects us to each other. You don’t live parallel lives with DD. My husband is aware of and interested in just about everything I do and I love that. The rules really push me and I need that.

The beginning is hard but worth it! All the best.

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sweetie
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Re: Newbie with a red hiney

Post by sweetie » Fri Jul 20, 2018 6:35 pm

What you’re doing for two weeks sounds very much like a boot camp which is something we haven’t done. If my understanding of boot camp is correct the regular spankings are for your HoH to establish your tolerance levels so he knows what a punishment spanking should entail. Although we’ve not done the boot camp thing, I have received regular spankings when my HoH is helping me to break a deep rooted bad habit or change a behaviour or dealing with something I’m struggling with. Although it might be hard to believe when starting out it does get easier and as far as I’m aware nobody’s ever died from a spanking.

It is well worth persevering with because the benefits are wonderful. My discipline sessions are designed to improve me as a person, to allow me to add value and balance to our household, and as a consequence they have strengthened our relationship and brought us closer together as a married couple.

It won’t all be plain sailing. There will be setbacks, but if you both want this, commit to it, and keep working at it then the benefits for both of you make it all worthwhile.

Good luck!
sweetie x
Please inform MrsSweetie, my HoH, if I'm in any way impolite, disrespectful, inapproptiate, or cause any offence

brookley
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Re: Newbie with a red hiney

Post by brookley » Fri Jul 20, 2018 6:59 pm

Hi there :)

Firstly, I personally thing that a spanking a day for two weeks is a lot. I don't think many of us get spanked that often for actual infractions, so don't take this as too much of a glimpse into what it will be like. In one of the most recent posts on the site, Chelsea explained that two spankings in one week was a lot for her, if that gives you any perspective. But I think that also just depends on the dynamic you and your husband settle on. It sounds like you guys are just sort of testing the waters, which is a good plan.

Secondly, I've definitely wavered. My husband and I actually took a break from the lifestyle for almost two years because the way we were going about it just wasn't working. We have recently reintroduced it, and it is going much more smoothly this time, so doing some experimenting like it seems you two are doing is probably a good way to go about it. I would recommend that, when your two weeks are up, you both sit down and discuss what worked for you and what didn't so that you can be on the same page going forward. I wish my husband and I had done that the first time around.

Finally--you got this!! Honestly, it's not easy to work every day to submit, and it's definitely not easy to accept punishments of any kind (especially spankings) but the rewards are so worth it. There is usually a lot of tension between my husband and I, and it makes for a bad environment for us and our children. Since re-implementing, things have been so much better. It's just two weeks. You can get through it, and when you do you'll have started yourselves on a really great path. Good luck! :)
Striving every day to be the best version of me for my Hoh, for my family, and for myself.

Duncandeedee1
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Re: Newbie with a red hiney

Post by Duncandeedee1 » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:05 pm

Thanks, everyone for the encouragement. I enjoy this forum because I feel like I'm not alone. Only a week and a half left...I can do this!

Duncandeedee1
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Re: Newbie with a red hiney

Post by Duncandeedee1 » Fri Jul 20, 2018 10:28 pm

Thanks, I don't have a lot of experience with the DD lifestyle. I'm sure lots of questions will arise as HoH and I continue this journey. We've gone so long without my unsubmissiveness in check. It's hard to change and I think my wavering is my auto-pilot way of trying to flee from change.

Lovely
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Re: Newbie with a red hiney

Post by Lovely » Fri Jul 20, 2018 11:11 pm

It's great to get encouragement on here and I'm glad that you found us! Does your HoH give you encouragement and compliments to help you too? I know it really makes a big difference to my dedication to DD knowing how much it means to Dionysyus. He regularly tells me how he's got the best wife in the world and how amazing and sexy I am. He expresses how he loves how he can spank me and how important it is to our relationship and happiness and he compliments how I'm such a good submissive wife etc... These things all really keep me afloat. :)

Duncandeedee1
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Re: Newbie with a red hiney

Post by Duncandeedee1 » Sat Jul 21, 2018 5:50 am

He does encourage me often! He's often given me specific examples of why he loves me (like, " I love because you help your aunt with her yard. That shoes your compassion for others." And so on. He compliments me daily. He's a wonderful husband and deserves, now commands, my submission.

I guess my trepidation is in being wholly submissive. I've always been submissive here or there (not very often though, I'm afraid). This lifestyle demands my complete submission. The old me keeps wanting to pop out. Between corner time and spankings hopefully the old me will soon be gone.

My favorite part of DD, so far: the closeness, the open lines of communication, the security I feel.

My least favorite part: getting spanked and not being able to rub my spanked tushy! It stings for hours!!

Duncandeedee1
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Re: Newbie with a red hiney

Post by Duncandeedee1 » Sun Jul 22, 2018 6:20 am

Everything is going pretty well with "boot camp." We've realized the belt is a pretty harsh implement for just starting off, so, HoH uses his hand for the warm up and a rubber spatula for at least half of the beginner spanking now. This has helped a lot. It had gotten where I couldn't sit down.

I really do not like these spankings. He doesn't enjoy giving them to me but we are committed to making this work.

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DesertRose
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Re: Newbie with a red hiney

Post by DesertRose » Sun Jul 22, 2018 1:37 pm

Hello,

I have been looking for such a forum for sometime. I'm very much interested in DD lifestyle and looking forward to apply it with my future-husband. It's not just a desire, but a need. It's great to meet like-minded people.

Nice to meet you all! ;)
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

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