Telling family.

Joshua89
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Re: Telling family.

Post by Joshua89 » Tue Apr 14, 2020 12:35 pm

When asked to I suppose. I signed a contract 3 years ago to differ or submit to my wife. If she asks me to lead in something I do, but other than that is not my responsibility. If you are talking about in the bedroom? I am not understanding. I feel like there are still a lot of situations on life where submissive partners must lead.

Lauren- Do you ever have leadership roles?
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Lauren
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Re: Telling family.

Post by Lauren » Tue Apr 14, 2020 12:59 pm

Joshua89 wrote:
Tue Apr 14, 2020 12:35 pm
Lauren- Do you ever have leadership roles?
I am a lot like your wife. I take the lead on our bills and all our finances. It is not Brandon's strong suite. I also take the lead on our schedule. I am the organized person in our marriage. If he says he needs to go help his dad on Saturday, I'm the one who says go for it and puts in our schedule or says Saturday does not work because... How about (insert a different time)? We have a physical paper calender hanging right in our kitchen. We also have a synced app on our phones. He could look at either but it doesn't cross his mind. :lol: I take the lead on most house projects. "Hey we need to paint this." Or "This needs to be fixed." I will get everything that is needed and he just has to show up. Or when it comes to the kids I 95% of the time make the decisions. We discuss all things regarding our girls, almost always he agrees with what I have to say and than he gives me the go ahead.

That's all I can think of right now.

oldfashionedwife
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Re: Telling family.

Post by oldfashionedwife » Tue Apr 14, 2020 7:46 pm

I'm pretty sure family members know especially since my husband will say something like "How about I put you over my knee right now?"...Although, for some reason, my mother thinks I am the dominant one in our marriage... One time when the neighbors were over he was telling them about something I did that he didn't like...He said "If she does it again she's going to get spanked" oooh the wife of the neighbor did not like that one bit...and...I know other neighbors heard the "goings on" because the bedroom window was opened...they stopped speaking to us right away...They have since moved so I don't have to deal with their grimacing glaring looks anymore...No one has actually come out and asked me about what my husband says so I'm not sure what they think about it...and really...I don't care. It would be an awkward conversation to have for sure but then it would be over and life would go on...

Joshua89
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Re: Telling family.

Post by Joshua89 » Tue Apr 14, 2020 10:45 pm

oldfashionedwife wrote:
Tue Apr 14, 2020 7:46 pm
I'm pretty sure family members know especially since my husband will say something like "How about I put you over my knee right now?"...Although, for some reason, my mother thinks I am the dominant one in our marriage... One time when the neighbors were over he was telling them about something I did that he didn't like...He said "If she does it again she's going to get spanked" oooh the wife of the neighbor did not like that one bit...and...I know other neighbors heard the "goings on" because the bedroom window was opened...they stopped speaking to us right away...They have since moved so I don't have to deal with their grimacing glaring looks anymore...No one has actually come out and asked me about what my husband says so I'm not sure what they think about it...and really...I don't care. It would be an awkward conversation to have for sure but then it would be over and life would go on...
That's a good attitude about it. Do your business and who cares what anyone thinks. If they find out they find out.
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NateG
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Re: Telling family.

Post by NateG » Wed Apr 15, 2020 11:01 am

Joshua89,

Thanks for the informative post. I am very glad that you have found a great partner that can make you happy and compliments your strengths etc. Wouldn't it be great if more couples were that fortunate? Thanks for explaining things more clearly.

In the earlier post, I was trying to be brutally honest with myself and gauge what my own reaction would be if I saw a female led marriage. I might wonder about it, but wouldn't hold any negative judgement. Of course, these days, I WOULD wonder if it was a DD marriage. I do that now, with couples I meet almost subconsciously. When there are signs of it. Usually aren't though.

In many ways, you are stronger and more secure in your role than most men. I like that.

The couple I was asking about who were thinking of telling family has decided to hold off for now. The husband HOH wants to tell them so they can quit tiptoeing around all the time. But she was panicked about it, so he decided to hold off. At least for now. Probably the right decision for them at this time.

My family is very spread out...the nearest relative lives 12 hours away. Besides our adult children. We haven't told them. Although if they found out, in some way I think they wouldn't be too surprised.

Talk to you later
Nate

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NateG
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Re: Telling family.

Post by NateG » Wed Apr 15, 2020 11:04 am

oldfashionedwife wrote:
Tue Apr 14, 2020 7:46 pm
I'm pretty sure family members know especially since my husband will say something like "How about I put you over my knee right now?"...Although, for some reason, my mother thinks I am the dominant one in our marriage... One time when the neighbors were over he was telling them about something I did that he didn't like...He said "If she does it again she's going to get spanked" oooh the wife of the neighbor did not like that one bit...and...I know other neighbors heard the "goings on" because the bedroom window was opened...they stopped speaking to us right away...They have since moved so I don't have to deal with their grimacing glaring looks anymore...No one has actually come out and asked me about what my husband says so I'm not sure what they think about it...and really...I don't care. It would be an awkward conversation to have for sure but then it would be over and life would go on...
I would say your family probably has an inkling but probably doesn't think it's any of their business. Too bad you had a neighbor like that. Ugh....Good riddance!! Maybe she was secretly jealous.

Nate

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Miras
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Re: Telling family.

Post by Miras » Wed Apr 15, 2020 11:15 am

I wish so much much my parents lived in the official FLR. The things would be at least sincere and it would work. My dad already joked how my mom would be perfect would be perfect for such lifestyle.
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Joshua89
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Re: Telling family.

Post by Joshua89 » Wed Apr 15, 2020 7:06 pm

NateG wrote:
Wed Apr 15, 2020 11:01 am
Joshua89,

Thanks for the informative post. I am very glad that you have found a great partner that can make you happy and compliments your strengths etc. Wouldn't it be great if more couples were that fortunate? Thanks for explaining things more clearly.

In the earlier post, I was trying to be brutally honest with myself and gauge what my own reaction would be if I saw a female led marriage. I might wonder about it, but wouldn't hold any negative judgement. Of course, these days, I WOULD wonder if it was a DD marriage. I do that now, with couples I meet almost subconsciously. When there are signs of it. Usually aren't though.

Thank you for the compliment Nate

I subconsciously do that too. I'm sure more than we will ever know do practice DD but maybe havent been as public on forums etc as most of us have. I like to stay optimistic and think it is growing. Whether it is traditional, wlm, or Spencer it does have great benefits and I love to hear successful stories.
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Submissivedanny
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Re: Telling family.

Post by Submissivedanny » Thu May 07, 2020 9:50 am

Quite a few in our family knows my wife disciplines me. My step daughter knows because when she lived at home she heard my wife spanking me in the bedroom. We didn't know she was in the house so my wife explained to her that I get spanked when I do something wrong so since that day I get spanked when needed and it didn't matter if she was home. My wife's mother and sister knows she spanks me and a couple of my wife's friends know.

Chris1001
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Re: Telling family.

Post by Chris1001 » Wed May 20, 2020 5:38 pm

So we actually have a slightly different variation on this. My wife and I have been together about 8 years and recently became parents (so kids knowing about DD isn't an issue). However, recently we made the decision to be open about it with our parents. Primarily the reason was to not avoid discipline when we visit them (putting it off creates issues) and to prevent her from being tempted to push the boundaries as a result. The results have been tremendous in terms of the support we've gotten and reduced stress when we're all together.

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