NateG wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 13, 2020 12:44 pm
You have been in this relationship long enough that your friends and probably family know who is in charge. Without knowing the total dynamics. I'm glad you are comfortable in the relationship and showing her deference in public.
I wonder what I would think if I knew you personally on the "outside" not knowing anything else about you? Not knowing you from the forum. If I only knew you as an acquaintance, honestly, I might wonder why you let her be in charge etc. I wouldn't hold it against you or think less of you, but I would probably wonder why? But, if I knew the whole dynamic, the punishments and whole DD lifestyle that you live, I think it would be more acceptable to me, even before I knew much about DD. I'm thinking of me 10 or 15 years ago...I would have been more understanding knowing the whole deal instead of just seeing it from an acquaintance perspective and wondering. But it still wouldn't have been any of my business and I'd have no reason to know anything. I'm just thinking out loud here and thinking how I would react. Hope it makes some sense.
I think a lot plays into it. I am very comfortable with my masculinity, football, fishing, carpentry, etc and that helps a bit with not being worried what friends, neighbors or family think I was some type of sissy. Quite the opposite, I feel stronger as a submissive because I have bettered myself in almost every aspect.
I work part time but my HOH is the breadwinner, and she is very organized and makes lists, paying the Bill's, paper work, taxes etc. I'd honestly rather be the one who does the dishes than all the other stuff. I guess we compliment each others strengths and weaknesses. My HOH will help with chores on occasion but it is ultimately my responsibility to keep up with chores. In certain settings I thrive as a leader, but when it comes to my HOH I just want to please and follow. On the homefront I think some guys just need discipline. Without guidance, if I was on my own I wouldn't really care about chores, and my mouth sometimes needs a filter which my HOH helps correct.
I think universally people can look at any given couple and assume who wears the pants. Sometimes its traditional, sometimes its a wife led marriage, but domestic discipline coming into play is probably not often thought of among the vanilla populus.
I am proud of my relationship, and that includes our dynamic, I would never want to be in the vanilla relationships with no resolving problems, or stagnant growth. For me, when I had short vanilla relationships, I'd always reach a point where there are grudges, or unresolved issues, or just a place where it seems boring or like it has run its course. I think dd pushes both partners to resolve issues in ways that are healthy and acceptable in the eyes of all who practice. I've noticed DD couples generally communicate more often and openly than vanilla couples because we all learn to address issues together, even difficult ones. We work through it and have resolution to any problems we face in our relationships.
I think my main point is i personally would feel trapped in a closet if I was busy hiding my lifestyle and trying to act different in public settings. I honestly admire the hell out of my HOH when she orders for me at restaurants, or just makes an outright decision while we are out that is clearly not up for debate, and I honestly trust everything she does for me because I know MY health, happiness, and saftey are very important to my HOH, and it normally reflects how thoughtful she is.
I know it can be uncomfortable to think about family members maybe "finding out" but wouldnt you be relieved if they did find out and then accepted you still? I wouldnt go into deep discussion unless they asked, but you might be suprised how accepting family can be.