I haven’t been able to post in some time because there was another incident after the party and I had my iPad taken away and was confined to our bedroom for nearly a week and had my internet, phone and TV privileges removed for 2 weeks. I’m still grounded for another week but no longer confined to the bedroom and my privileges have been reinstated.
Things pretty much went from bad to worse since my last entry here.
First of all, I need to say, sometimes these type of sites can be discouraging. I’m not sure why certain people tend to be judgey of other people’s relationships and marriages who are not carbon copies of their own. Some give off an air of superiority, sort of like a ‘my husband is better than your husband’ type of attitude, if things are done differently than they are done in their home. It’s really off-putting.
I don’t even know who said what and I’m not interested in naming names but whoever implied my husband is an abuser, is way off the mark. And likewise, whoever implied my husband squelches communication between us, is also way off base. And lastly, whoever said my husband seemed angry when spanking me this time should understand that when you outrightly refuse to be disciplined, even a saint would have a tough time not feeling anger. The difference is that while my husband might have been mad (I mean who wouldn’t!) when I refused to get spanked, he is never out of control or abusive. Nobody but my husband gets to decide on whether a spanking is warranted, when it comes to me. That is his call and nobody else’s. I would never in a million years tell someone else whether they deserved to be punished or not. It just isn’t my place to say one way or the other.
Having said all this, I just wish people on these sites would refrain from judging or making assumptions about other people’s relationships and marriages, based on a post or two. I only talk about MY marriage here - nobody else’s. Frankly, it’s none of my business what goes on in other people’s homes and I have no judgements about how they do things. Everyone’s relationship is unique and what works for one couple may not work for another. Understand too, that my husband and I are NOT practicing a formal DD relationship and following all the rules and guidelines set out therein. I knew when I agreed to marry my husband that he was very strict and would spank when necessary. He is the man of the house and he is in charge and that is the way it is. We talk regularly of course, and he encourages communication between us, but when I refuse a spanking, all bets are off. Furthermore, with certain issues, like being rude to company and with things I know better about, a discussion, especially discussions that are usually just a guise to weasel out of a spanking, are not viewed as necessary or important. Much as I hate to admit it, I agree with my husband about this. I don’t have to agree with everything my husband thinks but most of the time I respect that it is his decision to make, as to whether or not I end up over his knee - not mine. Might not be the way it’s done in your house and that’s ok. I don’t need to compare my marriage to other people’s.
Let me clarify a few things. Nobody was uncomfortable by my blunt comments on New Year’s Eve. This guy is far from being a well-liked Mr. popular and many people were rolling their eyes every time he opened his big mouth. What I failed to mention in my 1st post, is that long before the party even took place, my husband knew I wasn’t too thrilled about this guy being invited. My husband was also well aware that I disliked him but warned me to watch my tongue and be nice. So it was really no big surprise to see the disapproving look on my husband’s face when he heard what I had said. We had already discussed it previously so there was nothing to discuss later. And comments similar to “oh my husband would have listened to what I had to say and he would have heard me out”, implying that my husband is a barbaric brute who allows me no input whatsoever, is just more of that high horse, condescending and judgmental attitude that I’ve so often encountered on some of these sites in the past. I don’t even recall asking for an opinion about how my husband does things. I just wanted to vent and read about other people’s ways of doing things. You can’t possibly grasp the whole entire picture in a couple of posts.
I do appreciate the validating, supportive and understanding comments that many made here. Thank you.
Now let me explain further about what happened. So a couple weeks or so after the party, my husband informed me that this friend I had pretty much told off, Mark is his name, was coming over to have a drink with my husband. My husband informed me that I was going to apologize to him. I was still quite resentful about being spanked over the whole matter and I flat out refused. He said that if I didn’t, I would receive another very hard spanking after he left. One way or the other, I was told, I would be apologizing. Ugh.
Anyway when he showed up, I disappeared into another part of the house. About an hour later my husband called to me but I pretended not to hear. He called a second time and I finally came into the den where they were. My husband said “I told Mark you have something to say”. Before I could even open my mouth, Mark said something to the effect of, “yeah the last time we spoke, you were nasty to me I seem to recall. I’m not a bad guy you know. I just maybe had too much to drink and you know Laura is leaving me and she’s caused a lot of trouble for me over the last few months”. I couldn’t believe he was trying to blame Laura once again and take no responsibility for his enormous part, in the breakdown of their marriage. The trouble she was causing him?!!!
Huh! It just made me sick and made my blood boil. I replied “yeah well you’ll get no sympathy from me” and I quickly left the room. I couldn’t help myself and just could not humble myself to utter the words “I’m sorry”. It wasn’t happening. Just couldn’t do it - even though I knew my husband would spank me badly for it. I ran upstairs and cried my eyes out until my husband appeared a short time later. I knew what was coming. He walked into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, saying “you were warned but you disobeyed me and embarrassed me. Get your panties down and get over my knee, right now”. I couldn’t move. He stood me up, took down my panties, raised my skirt and put me over his knee. Needless to say, I received one of the hardest spankings he has ever given me. First with his hand until I was crying loudly and uncontrollably, then he put me on the bed and took off his belt. It’s very rare that I get the belt. Hand and hairbrush spankings are very painful but the belt is something I dread. It went on for a good 10 minutes at least...maybe 15. He told me I would be calling Mark later that evening and apologizing for my bad behaviour, and that I was grounded to our bedroom for a solid week and then grounded to the house for 3 more weeks after that, with no privileges for 3 out of the 4 weeks. Double ugh.
I did in fact call and apologize (because I was made to) but I hated every minute of it. As for where my head is at now, I guess I’ve just come to accept that my husband is the boss and that disobedience is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Even if I don’t agree or like it, it’s the way it is and it’s what I signed up for and agreed to. We still have to follow the rules even if we don’t like them, in many areas of life. For instance, road rules, rules at jobs from bosses, rules at school, laws, etc. Whether we like the rules or not, is irrelevant. They must be obeyed or there are consequences. This is the way it is with my husband too. There are certain things he feels strongly about and that he won’t budge on. Unlike many who are involved in formal DD relationships, who get a say in what the rules are, there are some rules that I have to follow regardless whether I agree with them or not. That is just how it is in my marriage and I respect my husband’s final say. Sometimes I am defiant, yes, but for the most part, I am quite obedient and respectful. Lately, as some of you know from my other thread, I’ve had some difficulty due to grief of losing my grandparents. However, I am coming to terms with my grief now and hoping my rebellion phase will end.
Anyway, things are a bit better now and we have put the whole thing behind us. Whenever I have to see Mark again, I will pretty much avoid him like the plaque.
I am determined that I will never suffer one more spanking because of that guy. He is so not worth it.
Some of your comments were really great and I enjoyed reading them. I am grounded for one more week still but I am allowed to use my iPad again and I’m not confined to the bedroom. My husband and I are very much in love with each other. That’s the part that can never come across in these posts. He is the sexiest man on the planet and he spoils me rotten. I know he only ever wants what’s best for me and even though he is a strict disciplinarian, I feel his love and his care for me every single day. It goes beyond even words.
Anyway, thanks for reading, guys. Back again soon. Caio for now.
P.S. No I’m not Italian but I love their food!