Struggle with power loss

girlzruleboyzdrool4u
Posts: 155
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2019 4:58 pm

Struggle with power loss

Post by girlzruleboyzdrool4u » Sun Dec 01, 2019 2:12 am

Hi
Just wondering how you deal with accepting that your going to get a spanking, if you do something your told you shouldn't but you don't believe that, that's fair.
Like you don't feel it's fair that there's a "rule" made and you don't have a say about it.
I don't like that I have no say in this. It has altered my behavior bc I don't want a spanking but I don't feel that it's fair..and there's no talking my way out of this rule.
Sigh. I thought by now my strong will would have won this by now.

Emily
Posts: 67
Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2019 3:49 am
Location: UK

Re: Struggle with power loss

Post by Emily » Sun Dec 01, 2019 3:06 am

What's the rule that you think is unfair? We'll generally discuss any new rules that need to be put in place and once they're set there's very little chance of me talking my way out of getting punished if i break them. I can't say that I find any of the rules to be unfair and at the end of the day I only have myself to blame if I disobey them and end up getting punished.

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sweetie
Posts: 1338
Joined: Fri May 18, 2018 6:53 am
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Struggle with power loss

Post by sweetie » Sun Dec 01, 2019 3:59 am

Like Emily, we will discuss a rule and almost always agree. On the rare occasions where we don’t agree, or when MrsSweetie arbitrarily decides on a new rule, or decides I need a punishment for something I’ve done that our rules technically don’t cover, my wife will explain her reasoning. Usually her reasoning is logical and makes sense and I accept it and fall in line.

I can’t think of a time where I haven’t accepted my wife’s reasoning but, if we can’t agree, I would concede to my wife. In agreeing to MrsSweetie being my HoH I agreed to obey, serve and be submissive to her as I trust her and her common sense and objectivity on things is more reliable than mine. Ultimately it’s about trust in your HoH and finding a submissive mindset for yourself.
sweetie x
Please inform MrsSweetie, my HoH, if I'm in any way impolite, disrespectful, inapproptiate, or cause any offence

Emily
Posts: 67
Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2019 3:49 am
Location: UK

Re: Struggle with power loss

Post by Emily » Sun Dec 01, 2019 4:15 am

Yes, the reasoning behind a new rule or punishment for something not covered by the rules is always explained here as well and that certainly helps with accepting any new rules and/or punishment. I think it would be a lot harder to accept if I was just told "you will not do X because I said so".

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Phil04
Posts: 269
Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2018 8:42 am
Location: Texas

Re: Struggle with power loss

Post by Phil04 » Sun Dec 01, 2019 8:29 am

girlzruleboyzdrool4u,
We have a bunch of new people here recently. Your story is pretty different than most other people here. You might want to give a summary.

Regarding your "loss of power" is there a new rule or the new?

Phil

Olivia
Posts: 35
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Struggle with power loss

Post by Olivia » Sun Dec 01, 2019 9:37 am

The times I find myself getting punished that I might not agree with would be if he felt I was disrespectful or acting spoiled and I didn't think I was. Other than that, our rules are pretty clear and we agreed on them. If I'm in a mood where I'm not accepting a punishment then I usually have to stay in the corner to think about things until I'm ready to accept it or I get a few swats with a stern warning.... Typically, I'll accept the punishment because it's a lot worse if I challenge it. After the corner I'm usually calmer and able to see things from his side. I'm able to talk to him as long as I'm respectful, doesn't get me out of a punishment but he can get a feel for my perspective and we can move forward. Ultimately, I trust him and his judgement. If you're not agreeing with a rule that's difficult because you're not going to be invested in it. I'd talk to him about it, try to see his perspective and decide if it's something that is best for you and your family or if you might be able to come to a compromise that works for both of you. At the end of the day though sometimes there are things we have to follow that we don't agree with- this might be one of those times? Best Wishes!!!

SweetPea611
Posts: 181
Joined: Tue Oct 01, 2019 12:54 pm
Location: Northern CA

Re: Struggle with power loss

Post by SweetPea611 » Sun Dec 01, 2019 11:52 am

Yes, we also agreed on rules. Have you had the chance to sit down with your husband and have a calm conversation about expectations?

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DesertRose
Posts: 410
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 1:34 pm

Re: Struggle with power loss

Post by DesertRose » Sun Dec 01, 2019 1:02 pm

I think it would be easier for all of us here to help you with advice if we're informed what the new rule is ..

Generally, DD should have a team spirit, which means both the HoH and the sub have to work towards what is good for them individually and for their relationship as a whole.

It is difficult to follow a rule that you don't accept. I think your husband should have explained to you the logic behind this new rule. If he already did that but you still disagree... then - I believe, you should learn to trust him.
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

girlzruleboyzdrool4u
Posts: 155
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2019 4:58 pm

Re: Struggle with power loss

Post by girlzruleboyzdrool4u » Sun Dec 01, 2019 10:46 pm

Phil04 wrote:
Sun Dec 01, 2019 8:29 am
girlzruleboyzdrool4u,
We have a bunch of new people here recently. Your story is pretty different than most other people here. You might want to give a summary.

Regarding your "loss of power" is there a new rule or the new?

Phil
Thanks, Yeah it's such a long story so much to type. I didn't realize there were so many newbies... it's still the same situation. .just having frustration that he's not taking it easy or being lenient and still following through! I just can't believe that I'm getting spanked for things I used to do. I haven't been spanked since my last post simply bc I'm "behaving"...but I'm frustrated that he just decided it

Olivia
Posts: 35
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Struggle with power loss

Post by Olivia » Mon Dec 02, 2019 8:11 am

I can hear that! It can be a lot when you're starting out because you can find yourself getting punished frequently. Change is difficult! It's frustrating when you're getting in trouble for things that you might not have viewed as a big deal... If he's being consistent though it sounds like you're ahead of the game, consistency is a big struggle for a lot of people and inconsistency is frustrating because it's like, is this behavior a big deal or not?... Is dd something y'all agreed on together or is it something he decided for you? I'd just encourage to keep having productive conversations with him so you both know what's going on with each other and nothing builds up and turns to resentment... hope that helps ;)

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