Stop doing the one thing that is wrong in your marriage.
Hi,AddyJane wrote: ↑Thu May 30, 2019 9:41 amI’ve been trying to figure you out from your posts.
Maybe I’ve misjudged you or perhaps you’re not the best at representing your situation. From this last post I think I might understand you in this instance:
You don’t just struggle with a prankster attitude... your methods have a reason behind them. They still wouldn’t fly in my house, but I can understand the need to “get even”. Hate the phone thing!
My piece of advice to you is this... DD is much easier to live than whatever method you and your hubby are currently operating in.
Clear expectations and outlined rules allow for more control on your end as you can avoid consequences. Heck you can even be apart of constructing the rules.
Moreover your husband will quickly find that DD is not a method to bully your spouse, there are expectations for him as well. There is a huge emphasis on leading well, practicing control and being fair ( all things your current situation seems to be lacking) . He just seems to be blowing off steam on your butt.
I guess what I’m saying is you’re not the one in need of advice, he is. A lot of this would clear up with the structure of DD, but he has to implement that and you have to be on board; it needs to be consensual.
I get that this is not what you want, that you refuse to submit and feel this isn’t right for you. But I think you need to discuss with him and find a middle ground.
Truthfully this might be hard for you to understand now, but what you’re describing sounds miserable to me; I couldn’t do it. It’s unfair, lacks understanding of your well-being and has to be extremely traumatizing for you. ( I get that you’ve pranked away 13 years of marriage and by our DD standards deserve to be spanked, but that is not what YOU agreed to.)
I would take DD any day over that.
I don’t mean to advocate for my lifestyle, I just think you feel that this boarder-line DD random spanking is a milder form of what you find on here... it’s not. It’s unfair to you and it’s not going to benefit your marriage the way you’re doing it.
I think you both need to sit down and discuss if you’re willing to make changes for each other. He needs to be well versed in DD if you are going to go that route... You need to have some say.
Might I ask if your husband has joined the forum?
How did you find our forum not being familiar with DD?
thank youNateG wrote: ↑Sun May 26, 2019 11:11 pmGlad you have a clean slate. I agree in general that the idea of DD and spanking should be something you both agree on. However, there are times when a husband will take charge and spank a wife who is misbehaving routinely. A lot of women would be happy to have a husband lead like that. But I understand that you are not thrilled with it. I hope things will go better for you and you and your husband can work out something that is good for both of you.
Reading this and some of your other posts, it's: I am going to win or he is going to win.