I don't know what to do

geeman
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Re: I don't know what to do

Post by geeman » Fri May 24, 2019 4:21 pm

All good observations here. I will only add that yes, it does appear both of you have some issues to work out, however...how about just behaving for a while and see how that works? I mean live the actual DD life, honor your head of household and see what happens. This seems counter-intuitive to coax him into striking you. It is clearly not working. Just a thought.

girlzruleboyzdrool4u
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Re: I don't know what to do

Post by girlzruleboyzdrool4u » Fri May 24, 2019 5:26 pm

geeman wrote:
Fri May 24, 2019 4:21 pm
All good observations here. I will only add that yes, it does appear both of you have some issues to work out, however...how about just behaving for a while and see how that works? I mean live the actual DD life, honor your head of household and see what happens. This seems counter-intuitive to coax him into striking you. It is clearly not working. Just a thought.
Thank you. I agree that we are both having some struggles here... maybe as we are aging we are each going through some "finding ourselves" or something.. He and I met for lunch today (we always have a lunch date on Fridays) and we discussed this again. He has said that there is going to be spanking in our marriage if I act like a brat... if I am not pestering or bothering him or hiding his stuff than things will be as they were. He is however going to work on his behavior too and not getting so angry. He is also going to research ways to calm down so he is not spanking me out of anger...… I am trying to behave. I will continue to work on myself too... it's not exactly DD I guess but I am finding out i'm childish here... I don't realize I am. then I look on here and see obvsiously I am but I don't realize I am being in the moment... I have an issue in our family of having a head of household and he doesn't see himself as that , so he says, but the fact he is giving me rules or it's a spanking sounds like he is putting himself in that position.... I defeintly am not challenging him right now. I have found out the hard way that maybe I can't handle the spankings I thought I could seeing as he really gave it to me... i'm not up to challenging that... I don't know how i'll feel when my butt heels but right now I am in no testing mood... it's when I get spanked that I retaliate and start this "getting even " mentality.. I think we're making progress here.... I didn't think that getting spanked was something that I was going to have in my marriage...it seems like I have no way out of this one except to change my behavior....that's what i'm having a hard time doing and also accepting that I am having to. I'm also finding it hard to have someone be "the boss of my behavior"...totally not used to that either

Evena
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Re: I don't know what to do

Post by Evena » Fri May 24, 2019 5:37 pm

Just for a thought for this having a head of houshold part...how many Captains are on a ship? How many presidents does one land have at the same time? To succeed you must have structure and someone leading. And a thought for your husband, If he wants to be head He needs to lead by example...means no breaking rules for him and care for others. Definitly not sitting with his phone.

Much love

Evena

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NateG
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Re: I don't know what to do

Post by NateG » Sun May 26, 2019 1:22 pm

I don't like that he spanks you when angry, but if I was your husband, you would definitely be getting spanked. I don't blame him for that at all. He has taken the role as head of household. Possibly because you are admittedly doing some childish things and do things to provoke him into responding. I had a girlfriend at one time who did similar things and she was spanked for it often too. You have to expect it.

I agree he should have some sense of humor and that he shouldn't spank in anger, but you must learn when it's time to stop and quit pushing things. Although you used to do that to defend yourself or to get even, it's time to be a little more mature and know when enough is enough. You should be spanked...I wouldn't put up with that stuff either. I also spank for not cleaning and breaking other rules so I think you have it easy. It's all based on your behavior.

Ultimately you two need to sit down and talk things over. You need to have him agree to be calmer when giving spankings and you need to stop being such a pest...lol. I was laughing a little bit at your descriptions of what you do to get even etc...but believe me, I wouldn't be able to take it very long without putting a stop to it.

Nate

fogcity
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Re: I don't know what to do

Post by fogcity » Sun May 26, 2019 3:43 pm

Have you considered something other than spankings if it isnt leading to the behavior modification you may or may not want? It doesnt seem to do anything except make you angrier or want to rebel even more? There are other ways to get of this morass or dilemma than him beating your ass. Try some intellectually stimulating discussions. Or seek some kind of counseling if you want to be happy in your relationship. Many relationships do wither and die for many reasons. Staying steadfast on a sinking ship may be a waste of time and emotions. Try other things is what I am saying. I just think DD may not be working for you so forcing it only makes it worse.

girlzruleboyzdrool4u
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Re: I don't know what to do

Post by girlzruleboyzdrool4u » Sun May 26, 2019 8:18 pm

fogcity wrote:
Sun May 26, 2019 3:43 pm
Have you considered something other than spankings if it isnt leading to the behavior modification you may or may not want? It doesnt seem to do anything except make you angrier or want to rebel even more? There are other ways to get of this morass or dilemma than him beating your ass. Try some intellectually stimulating discussions. Or seek some kind of counseling if you want to be happy in your relationship. Many relationships do wither and die for many reasons. Staying steadfast on a sinking ship may be a waste of time and emotions. Try other things is what I am saying. I just think DD may not be working for you so forcing it only makes it worse.
I agree. Dd will not work for me! Our marriage is good besides this new thing for us.. I guess we'll see how it pans out. I'm going to figure thisout. Thanks again

girlzruleboyzdrool4u
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Re: I don't know what to do

Post by girlzruleboyzdrool4u » Sun May 26, 2019 8:31 pm

NateG wrote:
Sun May 26, 2019 1:22 pm
I don't like that he spanks you when angry, but if I was your husband, you would definitely be getting spanked. I don't blame him for that at all. He has taken the role as head of household. Possibly because you are admittedly doing some childish things and do things to provoke him into responding. I had a girlfriend at one time who did similar things and she was spanked for it often too. You have to expect it.

I agree he should have some sense of humor and that he shouldn't spank in anger, but you must learn when it's time to stop and quit pushing things. Although you used to do that to defend yourself or to get even, it's time to be a little more mature and know when enough is enough. You should be spanked...I wouldn't put up with that stuff either. I also spank for not cleaning and breaking other rules so I think you have it easy. It's all based on your behavior.

Ultimately you two need to sit down and talk things over. You need to have him agree to be calmer when giving spankings and you need to stop being such a pest...lol. I was laughing a little bit at your descriptions of what you do to get even etc...but believe me, I wouldn't be able to take it very long without putting a stop to it.

Nate
I disagree with me getting spanked. 100%. I'd make you give up too and challenge you on that. We sat down and talked today and he is being calmer now... that's better... he said he's going to stay calm... I am happy hes trying however I don't want them at all and that is my # 1 mission. I'm changing my behavior and I understand that if I do I won't get a spanking. I'm "clean slate" right now because I got a spanking. So I know that it's in my court and I'm not doing anythingto get one...... my issue is this... I feel it's my decision too, not his to decide if spanking should be in our marriage. Bratty behavior or not... and part of me is like "I'll decide when thr slate is clean and maybe it should end with me pranking not his spanking.
Last edited by girlzruleboyzdrool4u on Sun May 26, 2019 9:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

girlzruleboyzdrool4u
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Re: I don't know what to do

Post by girlzruleboyzdrool4u » Sun May 26, 2019 9:20 pm

geeman wrote:
Fri May 24, 2019 4:21 pm
All good observations here. I will only add that yes, it does appear both of you have some issues to work out, however...how about just behaving for a while and see how that works? I mean live the actual DD life, honor your head of household and see what happens. This seems counter-intuitive to coax him into striking you. It is clearly not working. Just a thought.
Thank you. I've got to take some time to myself I think , to think

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NateG
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Re: I don't know what to do

Post by NateG » Sun May 26, 2019 11:11 pm

Glad you have a clean slate. I agree in general that the idea of DD and spanking should be something you both agree on. However, there are times when a husband will take charge and spank a wife who is misbehaving routinely. A lot of women would be happy to have a husband lead like that. But I understand that you are not thrilled with it. I hope things will go better for you and you and your husband can work out something that is good for both of you.


Nate

Evena
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Re: I don't know what to do

Post by Evena » Mon May 27, 2019 12:35 am

Not to be mean, you do not want him to add spankings to your life, Well maybe he didn't want you to add pranks and being a pest to the marriage either. Did you give him a choice?

Much love

Evena

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