I don't know what to do

fogcity
Posts: 55
Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2017 3:10 pm

Re: I don't know what to do

Post by fogcity » Thu May 23, 2019 6:58 pm

I will give you my 2-cents worth. I have been given plenty of hard spankings that were deserved but this sounds like abuse to me. A hard OTK is enough. In egregious cases, maybe a few more with an implement but that's it. He needs to get a grip on this and to sit down and talk to you. If you prank him, where is his sense of humor? Does he have any? He can be mad at you and appreciate the humor or absurdity of things and not turn your bottom into a piece of red, bleeding meat (sorry for the imagery). Even in a DD relationship, there has to be some give and take and your feelings on the matter should be taken seriously.

s

girlzruleboyzdrool4u
Posts: 109
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2019 4:58 pm

Re: I don't know what to do

Post by girlzruleboyzdrool4u » Thu May 23, 2019 9:42 pm

fogcity wrote:
Thu May 23, 2019 6:58 pm
I will give you my 2-cents worth. I have been given plenty of hard spankings that were deserved but this sounds like abuse to me. A hard OTK is enough. In egregious cases, maybe a few more with an implement but that's it. He needs to get a grip on this and to sit down and talk to you. If you prank him, where is his sense of humor? Does he have any? He can be mad at you and appreciate the humor or absurdity of things and not turn your bottom into a piece of red, bleeding meat (sorry for the imagery). Even in a DD relationship, there has to be some give and take and your feelings on the matter should be taken seriously.

s
Thank you. I appreciate your input as well. He used to have humour right along with me and I know that after my pestering him at night and prank and he spanked me after he asked me to stop and I didn't and it led to our little 'battles". I have to say if it helps with your mental picture I am not bleeding at all and there are not really any bruises that you can see as butt has built up quite a tolerance... I am new to being spanked and I even though I have built a tolerance I thought I had built one up quite well but he has decided seeing as i'm not stopping my behavior he'd spank me a lot harder. I agree with you totally that I think his sense of humour and "zen" mood has went out the door . We had a talk when we went for coffee today and we're going for a walk tonight to see if we can figure this out... he has told me what is going to get me spanked and if I do those things i'm going to get them and I guess that's where things are going to stand.... I do not believe he is being fair at all. Thank you for your message and I am going to talk to him tonight. He is my best friend and knows my behavior as he has known me since we were teens and friends first and best friends so I am having trouble figuring this out. Everything else between us is great.... he just isn't tolerating my "getting Even" or "pranking him" anymore because he's done with it.... thank you. I think h'es being an asshole.

Evena
Posts: 70
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:25 pm
Location: Germany

Re: I don't know what to do

Post by Evena » Fri May 24, 2019 12:31 am

I don't think he is an asshole. He just wants to have peace in his own home. I would hate your pranks and start to really avoid you if i had a constant Battlefield in my home. You are supposed to care for each other and you are doing your best to make him miserable at home, where he should be the most comfortable. I would really smarten Up, he is telling and showing you that he has enough. So you want hin to walk out because he can't stand you anymore? He just wants you to stop making home into a Battlefield, that is not much and way less rules than most here have, why do you have to fight this? Do you hate him? If you want to be funny Go and do stand up Comedy or write jokes. But Stop making your Home into a bloody warzone.

Again much tough love

Evena

girlzruleboyzdrool4u
Posts: 109
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2019 4:58 pm

Re: I don't know what to do

Post by girlzruleboyzdrool4u » Fri May 24, 2019 1:09 am

Evena wrote:
Fri May 24, 2019 12:31 am
I don't think he is an asshole. He just wants to have peace in his own home. I would hate your pranks and start to really avoid you if i had a constant Battlefield in my home. You are supposed to care for each other and you are doing your best to make him miserable at home, where he should be the most comfortable. I would really smarten Up, he is telling and showing you that he has enough. So you want hin to walk out because he can't stand you anymore? He just wants you to stop making home into a Battlefield, that is not much and way less rules than most here have, why do you have to fight this? Do you hate him? If you want to be funny Go and do stand up Comedy or write jokes. But Stop making your Home into a bloody warzone.

Again much tough love

Evena
I don't think he's an asshole I should have rephrased that. I think he's acting like one. I didn't consent to spankings. He got upset at me one night and spanked me. So that is what started this whole thing to begin with. I guess I did retaliate because I have been trying to show him that spankings are not the way to handle a situation with me. I was upset and angry that I was and am getting spankings. He is the one that started them. So i felt I was going to be defiant and test all the walls and boundries I could in hopes that he would see that spankings will not work for me. I have asked him to stop and he said he has no intentions of stopping until I "behave" but he is the one who started the battle to begin with. I have decided to continue to work on my behaviour because he spanked me more than I can handle and i confessed to him that I was trying to manipulate him to stopping. He told me tonight he loves me very much and at this point he feels spankings are what i'm needing if I continue. So I am having a hard time accepting this as I have never heard of DD until searching the internet to see if it's common for wives to get spankings. That is how I found this site. I have found a lot of useful information on here and see that I am not alone. He has been researching stuff now... i'm having a hard time accepting this way of life that has been sprung on me. He is not surprised how i'm behaving and him spanking me came with no warning and I had no idea I was going to get one so my first instinct was to teach him "You are not doing that to me"..... clearly he is and now I don't know what to do. I found this whole situation to be a game to me of cat and mouse once he gave me that first spanking.

Evena
Posts: 70
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:25 pm
Location: Germany

Re: I don't know what to do

Post by Evena » Fri May 24, 2019 6:16 am

Well you have seen that you cannot sit it out and that he apparently makes an impression on you, because spankings get you thinking. So I see two options, start to behave and you can sit down without pain or play cat and mouse and eat your meals standing, because your bum is sore. Is it really so bad that he asks you to act like a grown up? Maybe he just grew up and has finally had enough of this childish war. I can totally understand his frustration, and his reaction eventhough he should have talked to you beforehand. You need to find a solution, and the easiest one is for you to behave like a sensible human being towards the man you vowed to love!

Much love

Evena

Mel41
Posts: 206
Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2018 4:58 pm

Re: I don't know what to do

Post by Mel41 » Fri May 24, 2019 7:07 am

This has been going on for a while now. Your behavior is both immature and selfish, and it's no wonder he has grown tired of it. People grow and change over time. In a relationship you either grow together or you grow apart. What he found cute when you were first dating obviously is not fun for him anymore. You need to decide whether your childish antics are worth the potential of losing him. I fully sympathize with how frustrated he must be but I do not condone the way he is responding. What he is doing is assault. You didn't agree to being spanked and are continuing to resist. DD without consent is not DD, it is just plain assault. I think it's time to either "shit or get off the pot". Either you love him enough to start treating him better or you walk away from a man who continues to abuse you. But if you were truly as opposed to spanking as you purport to be, I suspect you would have already done so.
🎵 Hit me baby one more time 🎵

Jwalker
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Mar 06, 2019 7:12 am

Re: I don't know what to do

Post by Jwalker » Fri May 24, 2019 9:16 am

Here is an idea. Other couples on here use cornertime or timeouts as either a preamble to spanking or as a lesser punishment, say you hid his keys, instead of grabbing you and spanking while angry, he sends you the corner while he looks for them or until you tell him where they are.this gives you both time to assess the situation and maybe he will see the humor and maybe you will see the immaturity of it.

This isn’t something we do, but it might work. If you decide to continue on this path, he needs to calm down before spanking.

girlzruleboyzdrool4u
Posts: 109
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2019 4:58 pm

Re: I don't know what to do

Post by girlzruleboyzdrool4u » Fri May 24, 2019 11:24 am

Mel41 wrote:
Fri May 24, 2019 7:07 am
This has been going on for a while now. Your behavior is both immature and selfish, and it's no wonder he has grown tired of it. People grow and change over time. In a relationship you either grow together or you grow apart. What he found cute when you were first dating obviously is not fun for him anymore. You need to decide whether your childish antics are worth the potential of losing him. I fully sympathize with how frustrated he must be but I do not condone the way he is responding. What he is doing is assault. You didn't agree to being spanked and are continuing to resist. DD without consent is not DD, it is just plain assault. I think it's time to either "shit or get off the pot". Either you love him enough to start treating him better or you walk away from a man who continues to abuse you. But if you were truly as opposed to spanking as you purport to be, I suspect you would have already done so.
It's not easy to walk away from someone that you've been married to for 13 years, known for 20 and have 2 kids with who suddenly had a change in his behavior without giving you any warning.

girlzruleboyzdrool4u
Posts: 109
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2019 4:58 pm

Re: I don't know what to do

Post by girlzruleboyzdrool4u » Fri May 24, 2019 11:37 am

Jwalker wrote:
Fri May 24, 2019 9:16 am
Here is an idea. Other couples on here use cornertime or timeouts as either a preamble to spanking or as a lesser punishment, say you hid his keys, instead of grabbing you and spanking while angry, he sends you the corner while he looks for them or until you tell him where they are.this gives you both time to assess the situation and maybe he will see the humor and maybe you will see the immaturity of it.

This isn’t something we do, but it might work. If you decide to continue on this path, he needs to calm down before spanking.
Thank you. that is exactly it. I'm trying to help him calm down. i'm trying to figure this all out without being attacked and judged. I'm trying to change my reactions too. For example, we were cleaning out our garage and throwing stuff out and donating items. He had stuff he wanted to throw out and that I wanted to keep. So when he threw out one of these items (that did look junky) but had sentimental value to me I told him I wanted to keep it. He took it out and we kept it but was laughing and shaking his head about it and in the past has thrown out things that I wanted to keep . so anyway this was an example why I got mad and hid his stuff. He was being a jerk about it and I thought in the heat of the moment that basically (f you) and went into the house and hid some stuff.
I hid his phone because he was at the park with our kids and was supposed to be taking the kids and our dog for a walk. I was with my parents and was walking there to meet him. When I showed up he was on his phone the whole time looking at sports highlights and sport scores, instead of spending time with our kids at the park. He's always on his phone and he's addicted to it and we've discussed it and he is trying but then there he goes, back on the phone... so when we got home that night, I decided to hide it! It is his work phone so he was mad when he needed it. However, I was trying to teach him a lesson.... and then I got spanked for that. Maybe I shouldn't have hid his stuff but in the heat of the moment it festered for me and I hid it and never ragged on him about it or anything. Just hid it.... now i'm getting spanked over everything. He said he's going to go on this forum so I am gong to assume he will be reading your time out thingy and maybe that's a good thing to help him calm down... and maybe when I'm having time out I will actually confess where the items are... I know it sounds childish but there is actual meaning behind it. Our kids are important too

Evena
Posts: 70
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:25 pm
Location: Germany

Re: I don't know what to do

Post by Evena » Fri May 24, 2019 11:45 am

Okay so there is more to this than you being immature. Sounds like he has issues to. Please sit down and discuss the relevant issues. Maybe go to a marriage counselling and If is addicted get him help
Much love

Evena

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