Concerns about this lifestyle

Spanking and Domestic Discipline
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Concerns about this lifestyle

Post by klb2019 » Tue Jan 29, 2019 8:24 pm

My husband and I don't practice DD, but we've discussed it and we've done some research. Most of the research involves reading the articles on this site and blogs of those who practice. One theme that I keep seeing repeated which has me concerned is that after practicing DD the submissive seems to become unable to function without guidance from their HOH. I've read where some get panic attacks if they are away from their HOH for any length of time. I love my husband, he loves me and we already have a great marriage, but I don't think he wants me to become so dependent upon him that I can't function without him. We aren't old, but we're not young either. Is this just a natural part of the process or is it just that some overdo it a bit?

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Re: Concerns about this lifestyle

Post by Lauren » Tue Jan 29, 2019 9:09 pm

I don't think I've ever heard of someone having a panic attack because they are away from their spouse. Are you sure you've seen it here? I would probably imagine that the phoney, made up, crazy sites would have something like that.

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Re: Concerns about this lifestyle

Post by AddyJane » Tue Jan 29, 2019 10:04 pm

I would say correlation does not equal causation in this instance. Many different individuals rely on DD for a range of reasons. Some things may very well be present in these TiH’s life prior to instituting DD. My general feeling is that while your relationship may grow in ways, you’re not going to encounter things like that for the first time. If you’ve not dealt with such issues before I highly doubt they will emerge from DD. I can’t speak for others, but i would imagine this would be the case.

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Re: Concerns about this lifestyle

Post by Mel41 » Wed Jan 30, 2019 5:30 am

I've got to agree with the above posters. Many people are in relationships where they have an unhealthy degree of dependency on their spouse. I don't think practising DD would cause something like that to develop. I think most of us on here are pretty well-adjusted. Many are very independent and dominant outside of the home and some are less so. But that's true of any group of people.
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Re: Concerns about this lifestyle

Post by klb2019 » Fri Feb 01, 2019 8:37 pm

Thanks! That does make more sense, I can't really see myself becoming that dependent and I've never had panic attacks. Appreciate the feedback.

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Re: Concerns about this lifestyle

Post by DesertRose » Sat Feb 02, 2019 4:06 pm

I agree with everyone here.. even though I don't have the experience, reading about DD is very different from living it. When someone writes how they feel in a certain moment, doesn't mean that this is how they live their life.

Online posts can be very delusional. For instance, seeing pictures on someone's instagram page can give you a false assumption on how they live their life.

My point is that when you read a post from someone who felt vulnerable and dependant at that moment... doesn't mean that they are dependent on their day to day life.
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.

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Re: Concerns about this lifestyle

Post by geeman » Sat Feb 02, 2019 4:54 pm

Agree with the general consensus here; DD will not really create new dependencies that didn't exist prior to the adoption of such a lifestyle. And couples get into it for vastly different reasons. You need to determine what your motivations are. Does your husband want it for the same reason (sexual, practical, religious, etc...)? If not, that could be a problem.

In our situation, we have a Female Led Relationship. We chose this lifestyle for both practical and sexual reasons. Truth be told, our lives did not change in an instant and even today, they are not dramatically different than they were before. However, there is a constant and present tone of authority in our home. This aura of authority creates sexual tension between the two of us. So, it's basically a constant teasing situation. And on the practical side, my wife enjoys a very stable setting at home where things are done her way.

Careful what you read. A lot of these websites indulge in fantasy play and it has little to do with the realities of living like this day to day.

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Re: Concerns about this lifestyle

Post by Rand E » Fri Feb 15, 2019 11:58 pm

My wife and I do not practice the DD lifestyle. However, we have been spankos throughout our 25 year marriage. Last year, we stumbled, for lack of a better word, into disciplinary spanking - actual corporal punishment, not just fun-and-games. We have a relatively short list of major transgressions that warrant punishment, so it does not happen often.

But there is something very cathartic about submitting to being disciplined by your spouse when you have done something seriously wrong, especially when it is something that hurts them. For my wife and I it turned out to be an unexpected mix of retribution and atonement that clears the air and cleans the slate like nothing else possibly could.

Compared to my spouse and me, who are just dabbling in domestic discipline by comparison, the couples on this forum seem to be pretty hard core. They also seem like a really great group of folks, level headed and welcoming of others. If you want to know more about DD, you came to the right place.

But there are many variations on this theme, I think. You can explore various options a bit without diving in head first. Just a thought, for what it's worth.

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