What are some things you didn’t know until you started DD?

Spanking and Domestic Discipline
AddyJane
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What are some things you didn’t know until you started DD?

Post by AddyJane » Tue Jan 29, 2019 7:49 am

What are some things you didn’t know until you started DD?

I would call myself a novice when we began, and my husband did a good job acclimating me, but there were things that I underestimated or simply did not grasp until consequences were on the table! Years later and it still amazes me.

Like just how hard it is to stay in position. I know it’s sounds horrid but for some implements it’s like I’m a different person, as in possessed by a much less submissive version of myself.

Or how sometimes you’ll feel loved, content and protected after a harsh, but well deserved punishment- But that mild one, the one you didn’t agree with the reasoning behind, you can feign perfect submission, but right after you might be oddly villainous inside! Like watch out world! ( Yeah confess those feelings STAT! They lead to no where good!)

Or how you and your HoH will become experts at communicating via facial expressions alone in public ! Like one ”look” from him speaks volumes!

Or the creative things that spring from your mouth when attempting to explain your behavior... like sometimes I hear myself speaking and I’m like, “that doesn’t sound logical!” Other times, I’m impressed with myself because somehow I managed to use a Whitman quote and an analogy relating to the Hampton Roads Conference all while explaining why I’m on my phone at 2 am.

Or this one still gets me:
how easily I can submit to him in the big things! So much so that I don’t question or debate! I kid you not the man purchased our house without me ever seeing it! Our car- the papers were signed and I had yet to even ask what color it was! This has to be a DD phenomenon because none of that speaks to my nature: I’m truly an overthinker! It’s just I know he thinks of me first.

Anyone else want to chime in: what things surprise you most about living a domestic discipline dynamic???

Mel41
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Re: What are some things you didn’t know until you started DD?

Post by Mel41 » Tue Jan 29, 2019 8:30 am

1. How much I would hate disappointing him. Before DD he would never (like ever) express when he was frustrated, annoyed or just didn't like my behaviour. I truly never knew. It's been an eye opener to realize that at times he felt disrespected and I didn't know it.

2. How hard it would be to communicate. Communication had never been easy for me, not when it comes to the difficult things. It's still very hard, but knowing that he can "command" me to tell him what's wrong helps sometimes.

3. How needy I would feel after we started DD. I feel as though I am depending on him more now, and it's not always a pleasant feeling. I am used to being independent and not letting anyone in when I am struggling. Since starting DD I feel as though I am needing more affection, more reassurance of my place in his life.

4. How attracted I would be to my husband when he takes charge. I am submissive by nature, but have no trouble taking the reins when there's not a clear leader in the relationship. When he is in control I feel a sense of relief and am way more attracted to him.
🎵 Hit me baby one more time 🎵

HoldsTheKey
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Re: What are some things you didn’t know until you started DD?

Post by HoldsTheKey » Tue Jan 29, 2019 8:32 am

(I am a male and the HoH)

- I learned that I lack a lot of confidence
- I learned that I am naturally a more submissive person and it takes effort for me to be dominant
- I learned that my wife, while submissive, likes to be in control and dislikes being out of control
- I learned that when my wife feels like she needs to be in control, it's a reflection of my lack of confidence

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Miras
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Re: What are some things you didn’t know until you started DD?

Post by Miras » Tue Jan 29, 2019 8:41 am

By joining this forum I discovered that I dislike when the system is using too much abbreviations...

Sorry, couldn´t resist.
Occasionally friendly Spencerist guy
Faktor IV of MdI - Maghan
Unofficial member of The Wicked Tribe
Putting DD back into BuDDhism

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DesertRose
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Re: What are some things you didn’t know until you started DD?

Post by DesertRose » Tue Jan 29, 2019 4:42 pm

HoldsTheKey wrote:
Tue Jan 29, 2019 8:32 am
(I am a male and the HoH)

- I learned that I lack a lot of confidence
- I learned that I am naturally a more submissive person and it takes effort for me to be dominant
- I learned that my wife, while submissive, likes to be in control and dislikes being out of control
- I learned that when my wife feels like she needs to be in control, it's a reflection of my lack of confidence
This is interesting.. maybe you want to reverse your roles?
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

Lauren
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Re: What are some things you didn’t know until you started DD?

Post by Lauren » Tue Jan 29, 2019 5:24 pm

Miras wrote:
Tue Jan 29, 2019 8:41 am
By joining this forum I discovered that I dislike when the system is using too much abbreviations...

Sorry, couldn´t resist.
I don't understand! :lol: I've read this several times today and still have no clue what you're talking about. :|

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Miras
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Re: What are some things you didn’t know until you started DD?

Post by Miras » Tue Jan 29, 2019 5:40 pm

Lauren wrote:
Tue Jan 29, 2019 5:24 pm
Miras wrote:
Tue Jan 29, 2019 8:41 am
By joining this forum I discovered that I dislike when the system is using too much abbreviations...

Sorry, couldn´t resist.
I don't understand! :lol: I've read this several times today and still have no clue what you're talking about. :|
DD, HoH, TIH, FLR.. The list goes on...
Last edited by Miras on Wed Jan 30, 2019 1:37 am, edited 2 times in total.
Occasionally friendly Spencerist guy
Faktor IV of MdI - Maghan
Unofficial member of The Wicked Tribe
Putting DD back into BuDDhism

Lauren
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Location: Wisconsin

Re: What are some things you didn’t know until you started DD?

Post by Lauren » Tue Jan 29, 2019 6:11 pm

Miras wrote:
Tue Jan 29, 2019 5:40 pm
Lauren wrote:
Tue Jan 29, 2019 5:24 pm
Miras wrote:
Tue Jan 29, 2019 8:41 am
By joining this forum I discovered that I dislike when the system is using too much abbreviations...

Sorry, couldn´t resist.
I don't understand! :lol: I've read this several times today and still have no clue what you're talking about. :|
DD? HoH, TIH, FRLR.. The list goes on...
Gotcha! I guess the part that was confusing to me was "the system." I do have to agree with you, I hate all the abbreviations. I try to spell most things out. I refuse to use the word Taken In Hand and barely use Head of Household. To me, we are just husband and wife. With my husband as the leader.

Sorry for hijacking AddyJane!

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Beauty
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Re: What are some things you didn’t know until you started DD?

Post by Beauty » Tue Jan 29, 2019 7:09 pm

Great question!
One of the first things I noticed was how much I was disrespecting him without fully knowing it and hurting us. Another big one was how bad our communicating true feelings was. I would do a “fine” but will be pissed and show it through disrespect. He would ignore and let it build. I also never knew how much I was pushing him away (part of a “shut down” bad habit I learned in childhood). A lot of our arguments would spin to things of the past and not topic on hand, which would end no place good. Even in the first few weeks I felt closer to him and mass amounts of respect. He is able to just let his protective dominate personality take over instead of suppressing and randomly exploding in anger. Oh and his dominance did greatly increase “intimate” time.
I also 100 percent agree with the statement about punishments. I have felt so loved and content after a harsh punishment to correct something destructive I did but then also felt resentment after some of the minor ones.
The looks 😳... Should be considered a special sign language or if all else fails a rough pinch on the butt leaves no questions 🤣.
We are still working on my creative negotiation tactics. It’s word vomit on my side that I’m a little too good at. I have gotten away with a few things but he is learning fast and I am also learning when I do it... now that pesky guilt makes me tell him when I realize it.
I also very recently “blind” signed for a new camper and truck. I know he would of done the research and I had no problems signing on the X. Yet I struggle with something as simple as “why did you buy that brand instead of the awesome one” 🤣🤷‍♀️
Happy to be taken in hand by my Beast

AddyJane
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Re: What are some things you didn’t know until you started DD?

Post by AddyJane » Tue Jan 29, 2019 7:44 pm

Lol! You know I would have asked!!!
Lauren wrote:
Tue Jan 29, 2019 6:11 pm
Miras wrote:
Tue Jan 29, 2019 5:40 pm
Lauren wrote:
Tue Jan 29, 2019 5:24 pm


I don't understand! :lol: I've read this several times today and still have no clue what you're talking about. :|
DD? HoH, TIH, FRLR.. The list goes on...
Gotcha! I guess the part that was confusing to me was "the system." I do have to agree with you, I hate all the abbreviations. I try to spell most things out. I refuse to use the word Taken In Hand and barely use Head of Household. To me, we are just husband and wife. With my husband as the leader.

Sorry for hijacking AddyJane!

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