How do you deal with 'over the top' discipline?

Spanking and Domestic Discipline
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DesertRose
Posts: 360
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 1:34 pm

Re: How do you deal with 'over the top' discipline?

Post by DesertRose » Mon Dec 31, 2018 10:22 pm

SurrealSD wrote:
Mon Dec 31, 2018 7:46 pm
I have a couple of thoughts about what you wrote, DesertRose.

1) You can think whatever you want to think in your own head. I don't care what people think of my lifestyle as long as they keep it to themselves. So as long as we're just talking about what goes on in your mind. . . . you can think or judge or do whatever you want.

2) If you genuinely believe someone, particularly a child, is in physical danger, I think you have a responsibility to act. So you should decide if you genuinely believe anyone's life or safety is in danger.

3) If this man is hitting his wife while she's nursing the baby, I think that's going too far and endangering the safety of the child.

4) In BDSM-land, we have a saying: "Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is okay." It means that I may not agree with what you're doing, but if it's consensual, I have a duty to keep my thoughts about it to myself. I know people who are genuinely into things that turn my stomach. If they're into it though; that's their business. I think the litmus test is if the person in question *wants* to get out but can't. If they have no desire to change their relationship, you can think what you want but should keep it to yourself. (Again, unless you believe a child is in danger).
Thank you, SurrealSD, for your comment. My intention is not to jugde anyone .. I know this woman in person and I have always said that if she wants to stay and enjoys her lifestyle then we should let her be. But I won't deny that this is shocking for me.

Her family tried to convince her to leave him, but she insists to stay and yes, her kid are not in a safe environment and she claims that she doesn't want to leave because she believes that her kids "need their father".

Anyways... I don't want to go deeper into this topic as I prefer to talk about our own experiences. I sincerely apologize if this post made any of you feel uncomfortable.
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

Coryman
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2019 7:22 pm

Re: How do you deal with 'over the top' discipline?

Post by Coryman » Tue Feb 26, 2019 1:47 am

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Last edited by Coryman on Wed Mar 13, 2019 2:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

Goldilocks
Posts: 481
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2017 2:34 pm
Location: Ohio

Re: How do you deal with 'over the top' discipline?

Post by Goldilocks » Wed Feb 27, 2019 9:12 pm

Yes, my husband has gone over the top with punishment before. With us, tempers can flair and I am Really good at pushing his buttons and taking things too far. Therefore, he has spanked out of anger. I remind myself he's not perfect. We handle it with a lot of talking afterwards.

We fairly recently applied an Almost full proof strategy that works for us. Before things become heated, and one or both of us feel our blood boiling, i am immediately sent to my room for a time out. I feel his dominance right then and there.
It allows us a little time and space to cool off. Reflect on what is causing the problem. Then he comes in the room and we are calm enough to listen to one another. Depending on the outcome, i either get disciplined, or he sees his own flaw, and we just walk out together.
Loving submissive wife to PapaBear.

Robin
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue May 22, 2018 5:41 pm

Re: How do you deal with 'over the top' discipline?

Post by Robin » Thu Feb 28, 2019 1:07 am

I never spank my wife in anger about her. This is an absolutely NO NO GO. But we both agreed that a good spanking can help if one of us needs a stress relief.

In these very rare situations she asks me for a stress relief spanking or I suggest one to her when I feel it would help her, but she has the final saying in this. It works the other way around, too. In even rarer situations I feel it would help me to relax when I can focus on our relationship. In this case I order her in for a "Just because" spanking and explain to her that it is not because of any misbehaviour but to help me calming down. She willingly accepts what ever follows. Until today she never offered it for me on her own.

In any of this situations we both feel very close after the spanking.

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