Not a Spank-free Vacation

Spanking and Domestic Discipline
AddyJane
Posts: 232
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2018 1:26 pm

Not a Spank-free Vacation

Post by AddyJane » Sun Nov 25, 2018 2:59 am

So seventeen consecutive days together will teach you a lot. I think it’s the longest time we’ve had together since our honeymoon... and our only big couples vacation ( non-family vacation) we’ve had. We called it our babymoon, but told very few people about our babymoon as we’ve not announced our pregnancy.

Anyhow I rediscovered that I’m not perfect ( go figure) 😂and my husband is as structured as ever! So it wasn’t the spanking-free trip I had hoped for but I did a really good job of moving on and not letting it bother me. Totally a new thing for me! All this said, we had a wonderful holiday and really enjoyed reconnecting. There really were no fights or intense moments.

We had several constructive DD conversations which all started with me opening up. After the third day, my husband announced there would be no more warnings, just punishment for disobedience and disrespect; he didn’t care if we were on vacation. This sadden me as i had been pushed to the max flying internationally while pregnant and i was still unwinding from the stress that of preparing for the trip. I immediately told him my fear that I would not meet that expectation and I would ruin our trip by being having to incorporate time for discipline.

He softened immediately as if something occurred to him and asked “do you always feel if you are spanked you ruin that day?”
I told him, “yes! every day I am spanked or corrected in any form, vacation or not, is a bad day in my eyes, I’ve ruined it.”

He immediately told me he never felt that way and I would not ruin any days. He said he suspected he’d have to spank me and if/when it happens it will only make things better. He told me usually the weeks following my discipline I am in the best mood and seem genuinely happy.
This was a revelation to me!!!! I had no idea! I always felt motivated to not be spanked again or correct that one behavior - but never realized my overall demeanor changed.

I’ve been so consumed with trying to not need DD, to graduate or out grow it, that I think I’ve lost sight of its purpose. Up until now I am constantly asking for us to quit! Lol! But I think maybe I turned the corner!

My husband helped me release my fears about ruining the day or moment. He even assured me that it’s okay that he has to spank me- in fact, he assured me I needed to be spanked more often. I should have known with his constant supervision and protective nature in overdrive with my pregnancy - 17 days spank free was not going to happen, vacation or not!

Now to catching up on posts as i only read on travel days! So much to read!
Glad to be back; hope thanksgiving was extra special for each of you!

Addy

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Beauty
Posts: 358
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2018 10:43 am

Re: Not a Spank-free Vacation

Post by Beauty » Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:22 am

Oh my gosh I literally asked my husband this AM if he thought I ruined the camping/ten year ann/ thanksgiving trip for us. I also was not successful at a spank free vacation and earned one... but in all honesty I should of gotten two (I may or may not have yelled “I don’t give a d*mn”) about an argument we were having :oops: he took it easy on me that time. I will have to talk with him more on how he feels after a punishment because I am like you that I feel horrible and ruined the day. Thanks for posting!
Happy to be taken in hand by my Beast

Lauren
Posts: 864
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Not a Spank-free Vacation

Post by Lauren » Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:00 am

Yay for you!! It must have been a relief to find out that your husband does not consider the day ruined when he punishes you. Now it's time to step up your game without those warning. :cry: I am really glad you had a good time and got a babymoon.

TheGoodWifeLife
Posts: 396
Joined: Sat Oct 27, 2018 11:02 am
Location: Tennessee, USA

Re: Not a Spank-free Vacation

Post by TheGoodWifeLife » Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:32 am

It sounds like y’all had a wonderful trip! My favorite thing about DD, is the focus on communication. Dh and I have had amazing conversations that opened both our eyes just since I joined this forum. We’d always had a bit of a DD relationship, but the encouragement, inspiration, and knowledge I’ve gotten recently has helped us get to a whole new level in our marriage. Isn’t it incredible how much your perspective can change after a good talk with each other?! Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Sassy Southern Wife & Mama & follower of Jesus

AddyJane
Posts: 232
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2018 1:26 pm

Re: Not a Spank-free Vacation

Post by AddyJane » Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:38 am

Beauty..Yeah and to think it took me 9 years plus to verbalize this! Lol!
Interested to hear if you get a similar answer! I think HoHs must view it differently... it has really changed my attitude and outlook.
Beauty wrote:
Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:22 am
Oh my gosh I literally asked my husband this AM if he thought I ruined the camping/ten year ann/ thanksgiving trip for us. I also was not successful at a spank free vacation and earned one... but in all honesty I should of gotten two (I may or may not have yelled “I don’t give a d*mn”) about an argument we were having :oops: he took it easy on me that time. I will have to talk with him more on how he feels after a punishment because I am like you that I feel horrible and ruined the day. Thanks for posting!

AddyJane
Posts: 232
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2018 1:26 pm

Re: Not a Spank-free Vacation

Post by AddyJane » Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:44 am

Yeah 2017 was the year of no vacation days due to job changes ect ... glad 2018 ended this way! Still not completely grasping that a baby is on the way!
And apparently I get a lot of warnings... I guess I’ve not been paying attention. I have a feeling this “no warning mentality” is the new norm! We’ll see!
Lauren wrote:
Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:00 am
Yay for you!! It must have been a relief to find out that your husband does not consider the day ruined when he punishes you. Now it's time to step up your game without those warning. :cry: I am really glad you had a good time and got a babymoon.
Last edited by AddyJane on Mon Feb 11, 2019 1:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

AddyJane
Posts: 232
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2018 1:26 pm

Re: Not a Spank-free Vacation

Post by AddyJane » Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:02 am

GoodWife, I agree! DD really is a journey; it changes over time and with insight.
I need to read and hear from others... my husband on the other hand has always been well equipped for DD-it suits him.
He could easily give advice, but won’t 😂( he is truly a mastermind when it comes to leading/ keeping me in check)! He’s more of an island, sort of guy!
I’ve always felt several steps behind, not as comitted or resentful of DD.
Knowing that it’s not a “win-lose game” will help me!
TheGoodWifeLife wrote:
Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:32 am
It sounds like y’all had a wonderful trip! My favorite thing about DD, is the focus on communication. Dh and I have had amazing conversations that opened both our eyes just since I joined this forum. We’d always had a bit of a DD relationship, but the encouragement, inspiration, and knowledge I’ve gotten recently has helped us get to a whole new level in our marriage. Isn’t it incredible how much your perspective can change after a good talk with each other?! Congratulations on your pregnancy!

SurrealSD
Posts: 228
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 9:12 am

Re: Not a Spank-free Vacation

Post by SurrealSD » Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:04 am

TheGoodWifeLife wrote:
Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:32 am
It sounds like y’all had a wonderful trip! My favorite thing about DD, is the focus on communication.
Ohmahgosh mine too! I sometimes feel like I'm giving him information overload but if it improves the relationship that's a good thing!



To me, a spanking kind of averts ruining the day. Something happens that could have left us both with a bad attitude or feeling resentful, or with that cloud of unresolved issues hanging between us. But the spanking washes all that away and we're back on track again.
But first, have you tried sitting down with your partner and telling them honestly how you feel?

AddyJane
Posts: 232
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2018 1:26 pm

Re: Not a Spank-free Vacation

Post by AddyJane » Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:31 am

SD, I think you are right! I think it HAS averted ruining days but I’ve been so caught up sulking I’ve not realized this! Of course I have to be careful how I sulk as he does not like anything outwardly! Mostly I just get quiet.
SurrealSD wrote:
Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:04 am
To me, a spanking kind of averts ruining the day. Something happens that could have left us both with a bad attitude or feeling resentful, or with that cloud of unresolved issues hanging between us. But the spanking washes all that away and we're back on track again.

Beast
Posts: 70
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2018 10:31 am

Re: Not a Spank-free Vacation

Post by Beast » Sun Nov 25, 2018 4:26 pm

HOH here,

When I punish beauty I don’t dwell on the punishment past the time of the punishment. Between the lecture before, the actual punishment, and the lecture after there is no need to let it ruin the day. We handle the infraction or broken rule and we learn and move past it. In the moment I am focused on the punishment and how to learn from it and then once it’s done we move past it and hope that it doesn’t happen again.
“Every Beauty Needs Her Beast To Protect Her From Everything But Him”

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