Do/Would You Hide Your DD Lifestyle From Your Kids?

Spanking and Domestic Discipline
sam wallace
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 5:39 pm
Location: Texas

Re: Do/Would You Hide Your DD Lifestyle From Your Kids?

Post by sam wallace » Sun Feb 03, 2019 5:10 pm

I am a 70 year old male who has been married to a female HH for almost 50 years now and who regularly pays the price for my behavior with an over her lap bare bottom hairbrush lesson.

When our kids (son & daughter) were young my spankings were given when they were asleep or out of the house and to this day I do not believe my son knows that his dad is regularly spanked by his mom. When our daughter was about 14 she woke up one night late and heard the sound of a spanking being given and peeked into our room and witnessed me kicking and bawling over her moms lap like she and her brother had often done.

She snuck back to her room but my wife saw her and the next day they had a long talk about how some families operated. My wife explained that in almost everything in our home that she and I were partners. She also said that from the first of our marriage she had realized that at some times, sometimes quite often, I tended to act like boy who needed a long hard bare bottom spanking and that when I did something that deserved a spanking I got one. She further explained that she had been spanking me since our honeymoon when my mother (our daughter's grandmother) had given her the hairbrush with a note explaining that I would need it often.

My wife let me know of the discussion she had with our daughter and from that time on my wife no longer hid my spankings from our daughter and often used them as a way to teach her how to give a spanking when she became a mother. This was not common but it happened.

Now that she is an adult with teen children, that she spanks, she often is in the house when I am being spanked and she does not find it unusual at all.

Rick
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Do/Would You Hide Your DD Lifestyle From Your Kids?

Post by Rick » Mon Feb 18, 2019 5:49 pm

DesertRose wrote:
Wed Aug 01, 2018 8:29 am
NateG wrote:
Wed Aug 01, 2018 8:09 am
As a somewhat older person... barely into my 50s...I am still surprised that so many people still don't spank their kids. We did some, but my biggest mistake as a parent was not doing it enough. I was too lenient. In my opinion, as I look back on how things could have been better, I know I should have been tougher. Especially in the teen years when they need it the most. Grounding is just punishing yourself.... often.

My children are all over 21 and doing well and all. We have a close relationship, ..but I see where some stricter corporal punishment would have done them good.

I grew up when most kids were still spanked for bad behavior and it wasn't a secret. School paddlings were not common but not rare, for boys and girls. Especially when I got to High School, the paddle was usually on a desk or wall waiting to be used. As a Junior in HS, I thought it was a mistake to stop corporal punishment in schools. I think I was right.

I flat out don't believe any of the nonsense studies that say spanking a kid is going to turn them into an axe murderer or wherever claptrap they are spouting. Let's look at how many billions were spanked over the last 5000 years all over the world and led good, productive lives?? My life experience and world history proves the anti spanking crowd wrong.

And as you all know, a spanking is different from physical beating and abuse, so they can't go there as an argument either.

I'm glad I was spanked growing up. I was afraid of it as kid and as a teen and it kept me from doing a lot of the things my classmates got into serious trouble for doing.. including getting killed.

I know this isn't the forum for this topic, and I don't want it to be. But I am just always surprised that people who know first hand how well spankings work, don't want that benefit for their children. It works the same. But I get it... the last 40 years we've been pummeled with how evil we are if we are strict or don't coddle our children. So, I understand. But it's evident, plainly, that there is not enough spanking going on in homes and parents are afraid to parent. I had the same problem.

Again, I'm not suggesting that any of you are not great parents. I'm sure you are. I'm just a little surprised that so many are against spanking. It works in most cases.

Nate
Thank you for this good insight. You are probably right. I wasn't spanked growing up, so I cannot really give a firm opinion on this topic, I think it also depends on why and how a parent would spank their child, which is obviously different than adult spanking I believe.

For myself, I'm not sure if I will be able to spank my children, but if my husband decided to do so, I won't try to stop him.

I would like to know your opinion regarding spanking a wife in front of kids? or should they know they their mother is spanked?
I was not spanked growing up either. But the realistic consequence was there looming the whole time. I grew up listening to the stories of how Grampa took the strap to my father regularly when he grew up. That was enough along with witnessing a few of my friends getting the belt along the way keep me on the straight and narrow for the most part. I got away with a few things that probably should have resulted in a good whipping. I think we all did. However quite some time ago I realized something that supposed me. There's a bamboo cane that I remember seeing for as long as I can remember. Growing up I didn't think anything of it but as I became interested in the DDR lifestyle I realized what it was... OMG 👀 my own parents were living the DD lifestyle and I had no idea. I haven't asked either of my older sisters if they ever suspected or witnessed it but as far as I know that cane only has one purpose. So evidently they hid it quite well from us kids. I'm not sure who was at either end of the cane but that's their business I guess. My own kids are all grown up now so it's easy for us to keep it private. We've discussed it briefly and if we're in public I'm told that we need to talk... when we get home. We drive a full size conversion van and she's threatened to have me find a place to park so we can "discuss" my potty mouth aimed at crappy drivers... she hates that. I think our decision to use discipline in our relationship to adjust my "short comings" is our business and not for public display. Just my $.02 worth.

Sam89
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:54 pm

Re: Do/Would You Hide Your DD Lifestyle From Your Kids?

Post by Sam89 » Mon Feb 18, 2019 7:12 pm

AlphaWife wrote:
Tue Nov 27, 2018 3:56 pm
I don't have kids, yet. But when the time comes, we will 100% hide the DD lifestyle. We'd stop it all together before we let anyone know. This was his one and only condition. It's to remain private.
My wife and I talked about this a few times. We agreed to mostly keep it private for now and discuss it before telling anyone. She's very close to her sister so being able to talk openly about it with her was a condition. I wasn't thrilled but I understood it was important for her to have that kind of relationship with her sister. I was pretty embarrassed the first time her sister was over and I knew she knew. But she's always nice to me and if my wife corrects me in front of her she just gives us space and never says anything.

I know my wife would like to be more open with her friends about it but she's not pushing the issue. She's also very sensitive about keeping it private around my friends and family so usually I would just get the look which I knew meant trouble later. I think my mom somehow knows or can sense what's going on just by some comments she made but we still keep it private around them. If I act up in public my wife has no problem quietly correcting me or telling me I earned time in the corner or worse is when she decides "we're going home now" for a "talk". She doesn't tolerate misbehaving in public at all but she keeps our situation discrete.

We don't have kids yet and we never talked about what to do when that happens. But I think if kids knew it would undermine the parent's authority. If we do spank our kids it's definitely going to be my wife because I couldn't do it. I'm not against it I just couldn't bring myself to do that and she's very much the tough love kind of person. We probably couldn't hide the structure of our relationship but I think our kids don't need to know the details.

Melody
Posts: 18
Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2019 4:11 pm
Location: Texas

Re: Do/Would You Hide Your DD Lifestyle From Your Kids?

Post by Melody » Mon Feb 18, 2019 8:20 pm

We are just starting the DD lifestyle 24/7, so I’m not sure how that will change things. But spanking has been part of our sex life before sex was, lol.

So far we wait until our daughter is asleep and then go to our bedroom, bathroom, or garage. Then we turn on some other noise like the tv or washing machine and that’s how we hide spankings. She’s 4 and it works so far.

My hope is to one day get a she shed all set up. I want it to have a window unit, daybed for extra guest sleeping space, and all my craft supplies. I’ll also get a locked drawer or cabinet to house our spanking implements. Then, since I’ll go out there to craft a lot anyway, hopefully my daughter and any future kids won’t see anything weird about my husband and I being out there together while I craft. So discipline can happen out there. My sewing, knitting, crocheting and such will be our cover. At least that’s the plan. I guess we’ll have to wait until I have teenagers to see if it works.

Online
Shannon
Posts: 136
Joined: Thu May 10, 2018 3:20 pm

Re: Do/Would You Hide Your DD Lifestyle From Your Kids?

Post by Shannon » Mon Feb 18, 2019 10:05 pm

Melody wrote:
Mon Feb 18, 2019 8:20 pm
My hope is to one day get a she shed all set up. I want it to have a window unit, daybed for extra guest sleeping space, and all my craft supplies. I’ll also get a locked drawer or cabinet to house our spanking implements. Then, since I’ll go out there to craft a lot anyway, hopefully my daughter and any future kids won’t see anything weird about my husband and I being out there together while I craft. So discipline can happen out there. My sewing, knitting, crocheting and such will be our cover. At least that’s the plan. I guess we’ll have to wait until I have teenagers to see if it works.
The she shed sounds like a wonderful idea! I would like to have one of those. As your daughter gets older she may enjoy crafting with you. So there might be some timing issues to work around. However, I still love the idea.

Teenage years have worked great for us. Once they start driving they enjoy leaving the house to be out and about with friends--giving us lots of privacy. ;)

Good luck on your journey of figuring out what works best for you as she gets older.

Mel41
Posts: 189
Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2018 4:58 pm

Re: Do/Would You Hide Your DD Lifestyle From Your Kids?

Post by Mel41 » Tue Feb 19, 2019 2:21 pm

We do, and will continue to hide DD from our daughter. I think I can speak for both of us in saying that we don't feel it is appropriate to involve children in any way. The details of our relationship are between us and no one else. We would never raise a hand to her so I doubt she would understand why it is different for us.

How she decides to structure her future relationships is up to her. I wouldn't recommend DD to her anymore than I would any other relationship model.
🎵 Hit me baby one more time 🎵

Havetosaysomething
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2019 1:33 am

Re: Do/Would You Hide Your DD Lifestyle From Your Kids?

Post by Havetosaysomething » Mon Jul 15, 2019 1:56 am

I know I'm probably not welcomed to reply since I'm not living living the DD experience. But I couldn't help just saying "No?" As I was reading.

Whether you agree it or not, this sort of lifestyle is not normal for most people. And Beating is an unpleasant thing and it's bad for kids to think about their father hurting their mother physically in any way. Especially if it's done regularly.

The fact that the punishment is spanking adds to it. It's extremely unpleasant to think that your mother get her butt spanked. I can't even imagine how someone consider telling their young son or daughter about that. and yes, teenagers are included in that "young" category.

I'm not saying the couples who live like that are commiting a crime. But indeed the kids mustn't know about it. They have to live normally, and not get their brains messed with, by knowing such practices that.. again.. are very unpleasant to imagine, and even more unpleasant to see (so don't consider spanking your spouse against your kids, please).

And if people in the past used to hit their wives in front of their kids or whatever, that wasn't always right of course., and it wasn't necessarily "spanking".. and more importantly, it was in a different era. With today's standards this is just abuse if it's forced, and bizarre if agreed upon. And again being considered as bizarre doesn't mean you should refrain from it.. but don't expose it to the kids, and as I saw here.. some members sajd they wouldn't recommend this lifestyle over any other, that was good, but to keep things neutral the kids have to be raised without knowing about it, because by default kids see what happens in their house as the "normal".

Believe it will do damage to them. I saw my father getting violent on my mother and that messed me up so bad. And my mother was never ok with it, but her not reacting strongly enough made me feel so bad, and sometimes I used to feel a little bit of disrespect towards her.. there not the case anymore now, but as long as I was 16-17 it was.. and it was terrible.. very terrible.. I

So imagine knowing that your father "spank" your mom regularly. It's something you would never tell a friend, something embarrassing. Something that's very likely to make you think of your father as cruel, and of your Mother as weak and doesn't have respect for herself, and for both as sick or weird people.

Sorry if that was long, or if I sounded harsh. But It's just terrible for me to think about parents exposing their kids to such confusion.

And oh.. If the kids just accepted and felt ok.. that will still cause them harm as they interact with the society and discover that it's not considered normal by more than 90% of People. So they will start a journey of struggle to figure out what's actually normal, or what's right.. in addition to the chances of them wanting a partner that would want such a relationship .. and thus limiting their options unnecessarily.. like imagine feeding your son or daughter an idea that might put him/her in a situation where he/she likes a specific person.. but just can't get with him/her because the person wouldn't agree to such a lifestyle.

Melody
Posts: 18
Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2019 4:11 pm
Location: Texas

Re: Do/Would You Hide Your DD Lifestyle From Your Kids?

Post by Melody » Mon Jul 15, 2019 5:04 pm

Havetosaysomething wrote:
Mon Jul 15, 2019 1:56 am
I know I'm probably not welcomed to reply since I'm not living living the DD experience. But I couldn't help just saying "No?" As I was reading.
I don’t post a lot on here, and my husband and I only managed 3 months doing domestic discipline before I got pregnant with my second child and we decided to take a break for a couple of years, so I’m not the norm either. But I for one don’t mind people expressing their opinion about this kind of thing. If it helps any, I agree that exposing your children to this is abusive.

I wonder what brought you to this forum in the first place, since you don’t seem at all attracted to this lifestyle. I mean, for me, domestic discipline erotic fiction has been my erotica of choice since I was 17, so it makes sense for me to lurk here even though we don’t really participate in it. How did you find us?

User avatar
MyLove
Posts: 177
Joined: Tue Sep 25, 2018 12:34 pm

Re: Do/Would You Hide Your DD Lifestyle From Your Kids?

Post by MyLove » Mon Jul 15, 2019 5:30 pm

Melody wrote:
Mon Jul 15, 2019 5:04 pm
Havetosaysomething wrote:
Mon Jul 15, 2019 1:56 am
I know I'm probably not welcomed to reply since I'm not living living the DD experience. But I couldn't help just saying "No?" As I was reading.
I don’t post a lot on here, and my husband and I only managed 3 months doing domestic discipline before I got pregnant with my second child and we decided to take a break for a couple of years, so I’m not the norm either. But I for one don’t mind people expressing their opinion about this kind of thing. If it helps any, I agree that exposing your children to this is abusive.

I wonder what brought you to this forum in the first place, since you don’t seem at all attracted to this lifestyle. I mean, for me, domestic discipline erotic fiction has been my erotica of choice since I was 17, so it makes sense for me to lurk here even though we don’t really participate in it. How did you find us?
Well said, Melody. I agree with you that DD should be kept private from children, and am also curious what attracted ihavetosaysomething to this forum.

-ML 💕
Led in love by Phil04, and learning to submit by the Grace of God. Naturally submissive, but not perfectly so, I am praying for a pure heart and virtuous character. 💕

User avatar
femalefirefighter
Posts: 278
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2018 1:44 pm
Location: USA

Re: Do/Would You Hide Your DD Lifestyle From Your Kids?

Post by femalefirefighter » Tue Jul 16, 2019 11:23 pm

Havetosaysomething wrote:
Mon Jul 15, 2019 1:56 am
I know I'm probably not welcomed to reply since I'm not living living the DD experience. But I couldn't help just saying "No?" As I was reading.
Question: You don’t agree and don’t approve of this lifestyle, so why are you on this forum??



No, children do not need to know about this lifestyle.

FFF👩🏻‍🚒
I’m a sassy, strong, intelligent, and at times stubborn, fun loving proud southern wife, mama and Firefighter 👩🏻‍🚒. Married to a wonderful, intelligent, strong, fun loving southern man!! Proud Southern by birth, and saved by the grace of God!!

Post Reply