Count swats or count time? Newbie here!

Spanking and Domestic Discipline
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Count swats or count time? Newbie here!

Post by Danielle416 » Wed Aug 25, 2021 8:05 pm

Hey there! My husband and I are very new to DD and trying to navigate the waters. We’ve read a lot, but I’d just like to know how most HoH’s judge when they think a spanking should be over and the lesson is learned. Is there a certain number of swats? If so, what is it? Is it more of a timed thing? Or is it solely based off of the response of TiH during discipline? We’re both fully on board, but this is our biggest question.

We’re open to any advice and guidance offered, as we are both fully committed to this, but just learning the ropes.

Thanks in advance! ☺️

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Re: Count swats or count time? Newbie here!

Post by Lauren » Wed Aug 25, 2021 11:27 pm

It is solely based on the submissives response.

I wrote this about 2 years ago on here and I just went through 1,356 replies to find it. You're welcome! :lol: :lol:

This is the step process of a thorough spanking:
1.This is okay, doesn't hurt.
2. Starting to hurt a little.
3. This is uncomfortable.
4. This hurts.
5. This hurts a lot. Squirming.
6. Pleading
7. Full submission, where you are limp.
8. He goes a tiny bit longer to drive the point home.

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Re: Count swats or count time? Newbie here!

Post by Danielle416 » Thu Aug 26, 2021 12:04 am

Haha, thank you! :D

I just got my first discipline spanking, for not letting him know I was going to be home a couple hours later than normal (I have terrible time management skills), and he stopped at 20 swats. I was still pleading, but not limp at all, so it’s nice to know that I now can recognize what it should look like. Have a feeling my bottom is going to stay burning. 😬

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Re: Count swats or count time? Newbie here!

Post by Summer » Thu Aug 26, 2021 8:26 am

Sorry to hear you got spanked, but I bet it’s also “nice” to have that first punishment spanking under your belt, so to speak 😁

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Re: Count swats or count time? Newbie here!

Post by DisciplinedWife » Thu Sep 16, 2021 12:43 am

Every DD couple has their own discipline dynamics. Counting seats or time can be too mechanistic while looking for subordinates' reaction can lead to excessive and disproportional punishment. We believe a spanking should be memorable, proportionate and immediate.

We need to look at the need for discipline. Our actions aim to maximize pleasure and minimize pain an are primarily a result of our instincts rather than rational thoughts. Even when we make decisions after deliberation, we tend to suffer from over-confidence bias leading to over-weighting of benefits and under-weighting of losses. As a result, we tend to display forbidden but momentarily pleasurable/pain-minimizing behaviours. A good punishment must create a strong enough affective and cognitive impact on us such that we emotionally associate the forbidden behaviour with punishment and take the pain from punishment into account when we deliberate on performing the behaviour. To be memorable, a punishment must not only be severe enough but also display consistency (all instances of forbidden behaviour will lead to some punishment) and escalation (repeat behaviours will lead to higher punishment).

The principle of natural justice suggests that punishment should be proportional to crime and this is also important in my opinion. Unwashed dishes and not attending to my child on time are not equally wrong and hence punishment for them cannot be equal. To create a strong link between behavior and punishment, punishment should be as immediate as possible.

In our case, we earlier had very structured punishment with the amount of punishment (number of strokes and degree of clothing allowed) proportional to the behaviour. In the last 2 years, we had some unstructured punishments for severe infractions in which the number of strokes and type of implements were not communicated to me before. Also the lower-level punishments (2 and 4 strokes of cane) have been phased out. I had one very severe punishment (100 strokes of cane) for a very severe infringement that could be dangerous to our baby and me.

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Re: Count swats or count time? Newbie here!

Post by leenicolelinn » Thu Sep 16, 2021 5:51 am


Every DD home dynamic is a little different in some way. The severity depends on the disobedience and also how many times I have been punished for it. If I am pushing the limits my husband may bare my butt and give me a few hard swats with his hand or an implement, as a little reminder. Enough to get my butt burning and keep me from a full on punishment.
Punishment: My husband chooses the implement and how long and how hard. He continues to talk to me and ask questions during punishment. We both want me to get back under his authority as a sweet submissive contrite wife. He can read my body and my voice when I answer his questions. He quits when he knows that I am in that submissive place. Typically that is limp over his lap, no longer fighting my voice is respectful and I am accepting his punishment. Sometimes that takes longer than other times, I guess that part is up to me and how quick my heart accepts my husbands discipline at that time.
I remember when Lauren came out with her list. That is pretty much the way it is stated in a concise way.
You all will figure out what works for you. Good luck

Learning sweet submission and respect through my Heavenly Father and my HOH Husband.

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