Ruby, I definitely think that DD is a tool that might be beneficial.Ruby wrote: ↑Mon Nov 02, 2020 4:27 amI don't quite know what is going on with my behaviour- but to say I've taken a complete nose dive is the understatement of the century. I just feel like a lousy wife right now, but I can't seem to snap out of this 'Can't be bothered' attitude. I used to take pride in keeping our home clean and tidy, I was always on the go, and generally pretty good in my mindset.
From your description though it sounds to me like mild depression.
There are three separate but interconnected issues here. There is behavior, attitude, and mental state.
Spanking for behavior should be as much as needed so that it will be remembered. It should relate to specific acts of rulebreaking.
For attitude what we are really talking about is keeping respect top-of-mind. How it is addressed can vary a lot. One idea might be for you to text your husband frequently (perhaps once an hour) to tell him how you are doing and what you are working on. It doesn't need to be much, just enough to keep it on your mind throughout the day.
Mental state is a whole different thing. If you are depressed you may experience a general lethargy and it may just be hard to get anything done, or rather to get anything started. You should look for ways to break the melancholy. Do something you enjoy or take a specific agreed day or two off to just sleep. Go out to dinner or to dance. Whatever gives you energy.
There is an aspect of spanking that could possibly be helpful here also. A spanking can produce endorphins that are natural anti-depressants. This isn't necessarily a punishment and not intended to cause pain (though there will be some). Spank lightly at first and slowly and build as the skin warms and gets used to it. Move around and get different areas. By going slow you are giving the body a chance to physiologically adapt to what is going on. It will produce endorphins to reduce pain and promote endurance. This will produce a mild natural high that can be helpful for some people.
It isn't about how long it's about how often. Knowing how hard, how long, with what, these are things each couple needs to work out for themselves. It depends a lot on the people involved and what is needed to get and hold the woman's attention.
Far more important is consistency. We are talking in part about changing habits. That takes constant reminders, encouragement, and feedback over time.