Will this really work?? Really need your advice here.

Spanking and Domestic Discipline
Jacob HF
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Re: Will this really work?? Really need your advice here.

Post by Jacob HF » Mon Nov 02, 2020 3:36 pm

Ruby wrote:
Mon Nov 02, 2020 4:27 am
I don't quite know what is going on with my behaviour- but to say I've taken a complete nose dive is the understatement of the century. I just feel like a lousy wife right now, but I can't seem to snap out of this 'Can't be bothered' attitude. I used to take pride in keeping our home clean and tidy, I was always on the go, and generally pretty good in my mindset.
Ruby, I definitely think that DD is a tool that might be beneficial.

From your description though it sounds to me like mild depression.

There are three separate but interconnected issues here. There is behavior, attitude, and mental state.

Spanking for behavior should be as much as needed so that it will be remembered. It should relate to specific acts of rulebreaking.

For attitude what we are really talking about is keeping respect top-of-mind. How it is addressed can vary a lot. One idea might be for you to text your husband frequently (perhaps once an hour) to tell him how you are doing and what you are working on. It doesn't need to be much, just enough to keep it on your mind throughout the day.

Mental state is a whole different thing. If you are depressed you may experience a general lethargy and it may just be hard to get anything done, or rather to get anything started. You should look for ways to break the melancholy. Do something you enjoy or take a specific agreed day or two off to just sleep. Go out to dinner or to dance. Whatever gives you energy.

There is an aspect of spanking that could possibly be helpful here also. A spanking can produce endorphins that are natural anti-depressants. This isn't necessarily a punishment and not intended to cause pain (though there will be some). Spank lightly at first and slowly and build as the skin warms and gets used to it. Move around and get different areas. By going slow you are giving the body a chance to physiologically adapt to what is going on. It will produce endorphins to reduce pain and promote endurance. This will produce a mild natural high that can be helpful for some people.
Ruby wrote:
Mon Nov 02, 2020 4:27 am
Would a spanking or two help me to stop being so selfish, moody, lazy?
Vincenzi wrote:
Mon Nov 02, 2020 6:02 am
how long a spanking should be in a situation like this?
It isn't about how long it's about how often. Knowing how hard, how long, with what, these are things each couple needs to work out for themselves. It depends a lot on the people involved and what is needed to get and hold the woman's attention.

Far more important is consistency. We are talking in part about changing habits. That takes constant reminders, encouragement, and feedback over time.

--Jacob

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Ruby
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Re: Will this really work?? Really need your advice here.

Post by Ruby » Tue Nov 03, 2020 11:05 am

VernAKmiss wrote:
Mon Nov 02, 2020 5:01 am
It’s hard to ask for sure! I totally understand. I’m working with him slowly on entering this lifestyle and want and need and crave it so badly. I wonder if implementing weekly maintenance spankings for you guys would be helpful for a month or so, just to see if you have a change.
Yes, I completely understand where you're coming from. I really do.
Weekly maintenance sounds a good option, I think if we'd had maintenance maybe I wouldn't have slipped so far down.
My husband is my hero. I love you Vincenzi ❤💖😘

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Ruby
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Re: Will this really work?? Really need your advice here.

Post by Ruby » Tue Nov 03, 2020 11:15 am

leenicolelinn wrote:
Mon Nov 02, 2020 5:34 am
Ruby wrote:
Mon Nov 02, 2020 4:27 am
I don't quite know what is going on with my behaviour- but to say I've taken a complete nose dive is the understatement of the century. I just feel like a lousy wife right now, but I can't seem to snap out of this 'Can't be bothered' attitude. I used to take pride in keeping our home clean and tidy, I was always on the go, and generally pretty good in my mindset.

We did kind of have dd back then, not to the extent of some of the posts I've read on here. In the 15 years of marriage I've been spanked twice (Maybe 3) but basically we just had rules in place and I kept to them. Non physical punishments were more likely to occur, and that worked. I wanted to please my husband and have a happy structured home. He was the leader, and all was great.

But old habits have crept back over the months that even I didn't notice, and I know in my heart I need a firm spanking (Although at the same time, I'm thinking I don't want one, it will hurt!) I need him to lay down the law and help pull me out from this self made pit I've fallen into.

Would a spanking or two help me to stop being so selfish, moody, lazy? I just don't know.
Please be kind in your answers. I feel really ashamed of my behaviour right now, but I would really appreciate some advice - especially others in my position presently. From, Ruby
Hey Ruby

I am so glad you all talked this out. Glad your Hubs is stepping up to his domestic job. In our house spankings help me keep on track and get rid of guilt for sure. I think wives tend to beat themselves up more than what we should. Always let your husband know how you are feeling. We (as a society/country) are just in some very stressful times right now. So many different things going on and even if we don't think some of those issues effects us directly; there is an underlying anxiety, even some depression that I think women can take on much easier than men. We have no control over what is happening in this world and it effects us all right down to our individual households.
I guess I said all that say to you.... Lighten up on yourself girl. 😉

You talked to your husband about it, so did you get that spanking? If so you probably feel better.

Nic
Thanks Nic so much :) It's so true, there's really so much going on in the world and it certainly does seep in! Yes, I did get spanked, and Vin has said he has noticed little positive changes already. For this week he will be stepping on any misdemeanour, but once I'm back on track, I don't think he'll be as strict. I've asked for him to be this way, and thankfully he completely understands too. I love that he's taking charge.
My husband is my hero. I love you Vincenzi ❤💖😘

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Ruby
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Re: Will this really work?? Really need your advice here.

Post by Ruby » Tue Nov 03, 2020 11:17 am

Olivia wrote:
Mon Nov 02, 2020 11:56 am
This makes sense to me and my husband has helped get me out of a rut or two...I can't speak to what will work for you...- but my husband will spank me until he's certain I've turned a corner but not as hard as he does when he's punishing me- best wishes!
Thanks Olivia :)
My husband is my hero. I love you Vincenzi ❤💖😘

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Ruby
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Re: Will this really work?? Really need your advice here.

Post by Ruby » Tue Nov 03, 2020 11:22 am

Jacob HF wrote:
Mon Nov 02, 2020 3:36 pm
Ruby wrote:
Mon Nov 02, 2020 4:27 am
I don't quite know what is going on with my behaviour- but to say I've taken a complete nose dive is the understatement of the century. I just feel like a lousy wife right now, but I can't seem to snap out of this 'Can't be bothered' attitude. I used to take pride in keeping our home clean and tidy, I was always on the go, and generally pretty good in my mindset.
Ruby, I definitely think that DD is a tool that might be beneficial.

From your description though it sounds to me like mild depression.

There are three separate but interconnected issues here. There is behavior, attitude, and mental state.

Spanking for behavior should be as much as needed so that it will be remembered. It should relate to specific acts of rulebreaking.

For attitude what we are really talking about is keeping respect top-of-mind. How it is addressed can vary a lot. One idea might be for you to text your husband frequently (perhaps once an hour) to tell him how you are doing and what you are working on. It doesn't need to be much, just enough to keep it on your mind throughout the day.

Mental state is a whole different thing. If you are depressed you may experience a general lethargy and it may just be hard to get anything done, or rather to get anything started. You should look for ways to break the melancholy. Do something you enjoy or take a specific agreed day or two off to just sleep. Go out to dinner or to dance. Whatever gives you energy.

There is an aspect of spanking that could possibly be helpful here also. A spanking can produce endorphins that are natural anti-depressants. This isn't necessarily a punishment and not intended to cause pain (though there will be some). Spank lightly at first and slowly and build as the skin warms and gets used to it. Move around and get different areas. By going slow you are giving the body a chance to physiologically adapt to what is going on. It will produce endorphins to reduce pain and promote endurance. This will produce a mild natural high that can be helpful for some people.
Ruby wrote:
Mon Nov 02, 2020 4:27 am
Would a spanking or two help me to stop being so selfish, moody, lazy?
Vincenzi wrote:
Mon Nov 02, 2020 6:02 am
how long a spanking should be in a situation like this?
It isn't about how long it's about how often. Knowing how hard, how long, with what, these are things each couple needs to work out for themselves. It depends a lot on the people involved and what is needed to get and hold the woman's attention.

Far more important is consistency. We are talking in part about changing habits. That takes constant reminders, encouragement, and feedback over time.

--Jacob
Jacob, thankyou so much for your reply.
My husband is my hero. I love you Vincenzi ❤💖😘

Vincenzi
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2020 5:01 pm

Re: Will this really work?? Really need your advice here.

Post by Vincenzi » Tue Nov 03, 2020 3:50 pm

Thank you very much to everyone for your responses :)

Appleblossom
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Location: Rochester, NY

Re: Will this really work?? Really need your advice here.

Post by Appleblossom » Tue Nov 03, 2020 8:06 pm

To answer Vincenzi (sorry I am late to the party!) Yes, she does need this, yes, this will help her and you can trust your instincts, as to how long to spank, since you know her and are sensitive to your wife in a way no one else is. If her laziness is due to a bit of a depression, the spanking can act as therapy can wake her up, reset her and be very therapeutic. If it’s not due to depression than she needs your strength and dominance in her life in order to help develop new, better habits and help her to feel proud of herself. All good things 🤗. Good Luck to you both!! 😄

Vincenzi
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Re: Will this really work?? Really need your advice here.

Post by Vincenzi » Wed Nov 04, 2020 6:39 am

Ruby's attitude DID change dramatically after the spanking she received. However, when I told her about things that should be done today, and to do them in the afternoon whilst I am at work, as this is when she has the time to 'over think' things and become a little depressed. She has done these tasks already- which on one hand is good, but she did them in the morning instead of the afternoon, which kinda went against what was asked of her. I try to get her to do these tasks as a way of coping whilst I am away. As it gives time to occupy her mind until I am back home. So now I am in a bit of a diilema, does this action need a firm hand? Or does it need something different?

Jacob HF
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Location: Sacramento, CA
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Re: Will this really work?? Really need your advice here.

Post by Jacob HF » Wed Nov 04, 2020 9:23 am

Did she disobey you or did she just interpret different from you and choose not to procrastinate by doing her chores early?

--Jacob

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DesertRose
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Re: Will this really work?? Really need your advice here.

Post by DesertRose » Wed Nov 04, 2020 1:48 pm

I think you need to talk to her rather than punish her in this case. But it is your call.
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.
DesertRose

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