Spanking and Domestic Discipline
- Posts: 41
- Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:31 am
- Location: The great state of Maine
Award01 wrote: ↑
Fri Sep 11, 2020 12:40 am
My husband and I are new to the DD lifestyle and I have to say I'm really shocked for the reasons husbands are spanking their wives. I really don't understand the need to punish someone for misplacing something, other than maybe if a child was in their care or rent money was lost, but even then we all make mistakes, including HoHs. If they lost something nothing would happen. The reason my husband and I are trying this lifestyle is so that we recognize our roles. He is naturally a loving husband, but because he has not really led me I've always been the one wearing the pants and I hate that. At heart I want to submit to him, but I've never really seen him as an authority because he has always given into my wants regardless of what his are. Granted I've acted like a brat most of our marriage and he was over arguing. So he has 2 rules for me. I have to show him respect and I cannot spend money without first budgeting and I have to speak with him first when it comes to big purchases. If I disrespect him in private he'll give me a warning and if I continue he will spank me. If I disrespect him in front of people, there is no warning and he'll spank me later. If I don't budget when I go to the store and spend too much or don't consult with him first on how much something I would like to buy that is expensive that is an automatic spanking. He does not want to be a dictator and I don't want that either. He doesn't pick out my clothes for me, I've been capable of dressing myself since I was 4. I don't need to hand over all of my independence. Some women and men want that kind of dynamic and that is their business, whatever works for them. All we are trying to do is create peace and harmony in our house. Respect is critical to a man as love is critical to a woman. Husbands, your wives want to feel your authority come across but in a loving consistent manner. You don't always have to show you're the boss though. You should consider her as the weaker vessel, the feminine one. If you want your wife to be more feminine in the way she acts, you need to be more masculine. You need to know how to balance this. You can't be overbearing and harsh. Even when she disrespects you and you discipline her, you're tone needs to show you're serious but also that you love her. You love her enough to correct her, but to the proper degree. You don't beat her or make her feel beneath you. You both have different roles. You are the food and she is the water or vise versa. No one would say one is more important than the other, for they both are vital. Is helping with dishes if she's had a hard day with the kids or doesn't feel well beneath you? Show her that you care how she feels. Cuddle her, tickle her (I think most girls love being tickled), make her feel wanted, pin her up against a wall (because she's a masterpiece) and take her (obviously read the tone and you'll know if you have consent). And as you do these things while also being firm on the expectations you set forth, she'll be able to let down the walls and be completely vulnerable with you because she knows you won't hurt her. Even when and if you spank her, that is not to cause the most pain, that would be sadistic. It's to show that you do have the authority to correct her when she violates the rules you have set and agreed upon. And after, she will probably feel so dainty and loved and oh so attracted to you because she wants that authoritative man that can spank her when she's out of line and then scoop her up in his arms for some aftercare. I think there is heat (literally lol) and passion in this dynamic if it's done correctly. But the relationship can't revolve around punishment. It should really be a small part of your marriage.
I wish there was "love" button cause I love this post!
I did not have a prescribed list of rules with my wife. There were several things that accumulated over time that were ongoing expectations. In general, I expected her to simply do what I ask. Consequences, if any, would be totally circumstances based and unless there was a trend developing
This sounds like Matt!
Transformation isn't sweet and bright. It's a dark and murky, painful pushing. An unraveling of the untruths you've carried in your body. A practice in facing your own created demons. A complete uprooting before becoming.