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Re: Baring My Thoughts...

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 5:38 pm
by KrystalA
Okay folks,
I need to step in on this one. I have read this forum and I need to caution you all that I'm getting a vibe here. Emotions and faith are running high and I'm getting the vibe that c_and_c are being told they are wrong in their perspective. Please, let's keep this conversation on the positive. Yes, it sounds like a church revival in this forum but let's remember that although there are Calvinists here, c_and_c Are not. Please try to debate, if you wish, calming and lovingly.

P.S. I have accepted the offer to be a mediator on this website. As a result I will be reading more when I feel emotions are getting high or nasty comments are made, I will step in to try to help. Let's work together to ensure another incident like we just had W ont happen again.

Re: Baring My Thoughts...

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:48 pm
by Lovely
This was supposed to be here, but somehow threads got mixed up. I'm so sorry for the confusion.

Krystal, I have to say you have confused me here. On one hand you quote my post and say you liked the last sentence where I said that an HoH should always look out for the well being of their partner, but on the other hand you have posted saying that people should not be voicing their disagreements towards a member who has stated that women and wives are lesser and that their opinions do NOT matter. I'm not one to argue theology and I will stay out of that aspect of this thread entirely. However, I do know that C_and_C's initial post with his views did cause some hurt to members on here who were troubled by how a HoH could think so little of women and their wives. I can understand your concern that we certainly want to be accepting of all opinions in a respectful manner, but I feel like that was occurring in this thread (unless I missed something?). To me it just looked like C_and_C posted his interpretation of scripture and others posted theirs which happened to be different. No one was name calling or condemning anyone else for their differences of belief. They all just appeared to be having an enjoyable theological discussion. Now, perhaps if c_and_c could weigh in here- it might be valuable to know if you were feeling ganged up on or disrespected in the replies. But I don't think that was anyone's intent and it didn't come across that way to me. C_and_C has his interpretation of the bible and chooses to follow DD in one way because of it, and others have a different view of the bible and choose to follow DD in a different way as a result. I think we're all respecting that difference (no one has said "your way is wrong and bad and you must change!"), people are just discussing things, are we not?

Re: Baring My Thoughts...

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:50 pm
by Lovely
(Copying Krystal's reply from the other thread over to here so that it's in the right spot)
KrystalA wrote:
Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:23 pm
Thanks for responding. let me see if I can explain what I was trying to say here... Maybe I didn't word it right.

Your statement of "A HoH should always look out for the well being of his partner." I agree with that totally. I love the fact that my HOH does this, even though spanking is not given for punishment as of yet. But he does give me maintenance and hard too.
As far as the other post, As I was reading, I noticed lots of people responding but c_and_c never commented after their posting. This lead me to think that possible feelings were hurt. That is why I posted what I did. I think you all had a fun time and I never wanted to stop that, but I just wanted to remind everyone that c_and_c were just giving their own interpretations of the bible. I was raised like them, and although I totally disagree with it (sounds more like master/slave then DD) they were just giving their thoughts. I hope this makes it more clear on what I was trying to say. If you are still confused, please let me know so I can fix this. last thing I want is to cause confusion.

Re: Baring My Thoughts...

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:50 pm
by Lovely
I understand. I do wish that c_and _c would comment so we could know if the discussion following his post was well received as a respectful differing of opinions (how I read it and believe the posters intended), or if they felt attacked. I certainly hope that wasn't the case.

I was just wanting to clarify that you were not saying that people could not give opposing opinions as I think that would be problematic and was a little how your comment first came off.

Re: Baring My Thoughts...

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:54 pm
by KrystalA
Lovely wrote:
Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:50 pm
I understand. I do wish that c_and _c would comment so we could know if the discussion following his post was well received as a respectful differing of opinions (how I read it and believe the posters intended), or if they felt attacked. I certainly hope that wasn't the case.

I was just wanting to clarify that you were not saying that people could not give opposing opinions as I think that would be problematic and was a little how your comment first came off.
Thanks for your help on clarifying this for me. Yes, I want people to give their opposing opinions. Just make sure it is done in love. I just don't want another incident to come up where we loose members or feel uncomfortable.

Lovely, you are a great addition to my words :) You totally rock

Re: Baring My Thoughts...

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:33 pm
by Lavendar
Here are the final lines of c_and_c's post: I am just genuily curious, as my wife, and I are bible fundamentalist, and we go by scripture above all things, and not culture. I am just curious as to how things can be so contrary to what is written in the bible.


He was inviting discussion. He inferred that modern culture has contributed to a lack of awareness that the Bible, and specifically Jesus, mandates physically striking a woman, and that women are not to be shown honor. None of that is Biblical. It was offensive and worrisome to some, and that is the only reason I got involved. Others are right when they say that any kind of abuse is not allowed by the Bible, and that women are to be honored just as much as men.

And thank you to those who stood up for that. Any relationship, DD or otherwise, can easily become abuse if one partner is valued less than the other.

I gave him my religious background (which is actually varied and includes fundamentalism and Catholicism) because I needed him to know that my interpretation does not come from modern culture. He is correct - modern culture has indeed pervaded the church, but not as much in my branch of it. I needed him to know that so he would not discount my point of view as being either too feminist or too modern.

Apologetics is an interest of mine. I presented an opposing viewpoint because he expressed a curiosity about an issue in which I have knowledge. He is free to present a rebuttal. I welcome it, actually, because I enjoy this kind of discussion. I was not attacking him but rather giving him another view (as he wanted), while also protecting others here.

Re: Baring My Thoughts...

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:41 pm
by KrystalA
Thanks for clarifying Lavender. I appreciate it :)

Re: Baring My Thoughts...

Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 10:42 am
by Lavendar
You bet! 😊