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Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 1:20 pm
I do not want my wife wearing a bra many times and have told her so. For work, I understand, as it's an office, and I'm fine with that.
She insists that she wear a bra always outside, as we are what you'd consider a more religious couple, and she therefore dresses modestly.
Since she doesn't wear low necklines, it's not like you can see down her shirt. However, she feels uncomfortable going out without a bra.
Keep in mind we agreed months ago at the start of this dynamic that as the HoH I'm in charge and get the final say on everything.
I feel like while I respect that she feels it's not proper to be outside without a bra, bottom line, refusing to listen is disobeying me.
Do I have a right to feel this way, and even to punish her? Do I as her HoH have the right to also demand she do so, or suffer consequences?
Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 2:06 pm
Do you have a reason why you do not want her wearing a bra in public? Have you considered that even though the public would not see your wife's breasts, they would be able to see her nipples through her shirt? You say you respect your wife's feelings and you say that you are on the more religious side. Why do you want your wife to be shamed?
I would be having a conversation with her. I feel like you say you respect her but you really don't. I would not be handing out punishment until you both are on the same page. It sounds like you two are new to this. Maybe look around here, read and learn.
Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 2:11 pm
Thanks. We have been doing this for a while now. I don't want her wearing a bra because I prefer her to not wear one.
I would be fine allowing it in situations where we both agree her shirt shows the nipples. My issue is she has plenty of clothes where you couldn't see it, so she wouldn't have to worry.
Her response to that is she doesn't care.
Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 2:13 pm
I'm sorry, I didn't phrase my question well. What is the reasoning behind you not wanting your wife to wear a bra? Why do you prefer she doesn't?
Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 2:14 pm
She wears a shell under everything always, so even if she has no bra on, it's unlikely that anyone can ever see, and as I said, id be okay discussing, but felt for her to say "no" was not appropriate.
Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 2:16 pm
I simply didn't want her to wear them anymore. I was willing to make an exception for clothes it would be an issue in.
Knowing that she doesn't want to do that, I would be okay reserving it just for punishments maybe (although I don't want to).
So I'm willing to work with her and consider the situation, she simply said no.
Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 2:32 pm
She is saying no because of her religous beliefs. Do you, her husband, really want to stand between her and her beliefs just for your personal gain? If I was her, I would be questioning the marriage. My beliefs put God first and honoring him above all others. Than my husband. My husband understands this and would never even think about trying to force me to do something that is against my beliefs.
Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 2:34 pm
I think you're misunderstanding me. Our religion doesn't require a bra at all. It requires modesty and I would never EVER even ask her to go against that. However, if she is wearing clothes that is concealing anyways, I feel I should be able to tell her not to wear a bra. AGAIN, if it looked even a bit like you can see the nipples, I'd tell her to go change and put one on. So I never would make her go against it at all.
My question is when wearing clothes that makes it in noticable, should I still not be able to demand it?
Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 2:47 pm
Your wife is trying to tell you that she is not comfortable with not wearing a bra in public because of modesty issues. HER beliefs.
As a HOH your job is to help your spouse be a better person. DD is all about improvement of both HOH and Sub. Improving the marriage. It is NOT about selfish desires.
Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 2:48 pm
Fair point. Thanks for the feedback!!