Bra

Spanking and Domestic Discipline
C anderson
Posts: 19
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2019 1:56 pm

Re: Bra

Post by C anderson » Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:12 pm

I agree it became somewhat derailed from the initial post topic. I do believe the idea of attempting to force your wife to not wear a bra just because the HoH wants to and he can is just an abuse of his HoH power. And quite honestly, ridiculous. I do think a separate thread regarding consent would be very informative.
A strong woman loving and respecting the amazing man that she loves Charlie.Ander1

C anderson
Posts: 19
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2019 1:56 pm

Re: Bra

Post by C anderson » Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:28 pm

Phil04 wrote:
Sun Jan 19, 2020 7:00 pm
C Anderson,
I disagree with your statement that there is no such thing as blanket consent. A blanket consent can be given. It can also be withdrawn. However, once it is given, it is in place until it is withdrawn. So in the case of the TiH having to service the HoH, no, I don't believe that is sexual assault. If there is some form of blanket consent in place, and the TiH never indicated any attempt to withdraw that consent, why would you think the "servicing" is not consentual?

Phil
Respectfully, I will explain my train of thought on the consent/sexual assault issue.


Consent cannot be given when it is the result of any coercion, intimidation, force, or threat of harm. When consent is withdrawn or can no longer be given, sexual activity must stop.”

I am not saying that every couple that performs a sexual act before or after a punishment is participating in sexual assault. I am referring to the submissive partner being forced to do a sex act before or after a severe physical punishment. A blanket consent being given and then withdrawn is similar to my feeling that consent is given each time submission is given. However, there are certain acts that cannot be consented to under duress. Not all submissive partners feel loved after a punishment, there in lies the issue. Again, in no way do I mean your relationship, or everyone’s relationship is that way. From past experience in my life, no doesn’t always stop a situation from happening. Sometimes fear and hopelessness result in someone committing an act against there will, under duress.
A strong woman loving and respecting the amazing man that she loves Charlie.Ander1

Rand E
Posts: 343
Joined: Thu Jul 12, 2018 5:45 pm
Location: Los Angeles

Re: Bra

Post by Rand E » Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:49 pm

C anderson wrote:
Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:12 pm
I agree it became somewhat derailed from the initial post topic. I do believe the idea of attempting to force your wife to not wear a bra just because the HoH wants to and he can is just an abuse of his HoH power. And quite honestly, ridiculous. I do think a separate thread regarding consent would be very informative.
I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with you as to boundaries of HoH authority. I already gave my opinion on this particular issue about the bra, and you and I are probably pretty much on the same page. I just thought it would be more productive to have these discussions in a thread dedicated to the topic of consent in a more rational and principled way - consent in the rule making process, consent to the power and discretion of the HoH, authority still reserved to the TiH, what methods can be used to handle disputes, etc. Frankly, I think that consent is one of the key topics surrounding DD, and I realize the subject can get touchy, but I don't think it gets nearly the attention it deserved on the forum. It's a complex multi-faceted challenge that every DD couple should give a lot of thought to. And I know we will have disagreement, but let's be on our best behavior and really talk these things through.

Olivia
Posts: 248
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Bra

Post by Olivia » Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:55 pm

I don't disagree with that.... what I got from the initial question was a young hoh trying to figure out how to handle things... yes, not a how to I handle her mouthing off question but not the craziest thing I've read
if it was me that asked the question I would have felt attacked and from what I've read it's a young guy trying?.... I think a convo on consent would be good....
we have blanket consent he doesn't ask my permission to spank me...... but sometimes it's necessary and I appreciate it ....lol, after! (when he spanks me or sends me to to the corner 90% of the time, the first word out of my mouth is, no!) .
and we've built this relationship over many years, many trials and errors.... and a lot of trust!
but when a young guy comes in asking questions that's a good thing....a convo on consent would be great bc it is different for each couple and crucial .... I think it's difficult, especially in the beginning, to navigate how far do we take this... making rules, establishing consequences... learning how to be a good hoh... (which ultimately is what's best for you, me, us and our family)
Abuse, I take very seriously and I don't throw around lightly... it's worth learning more about someone before making such an accusation
I'd Appreciate a thread on what consent looks like for everyone!

C anderson
Posts: 19
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2019 1:56 pm

Re: Bra

Post by C anderson » Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:31 pm

Olivia wrote:
Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:55 pm
I don't disagree with that.... what I got from the initial question was a young hoh trying to figure out how to handle things... yes, not a how to I handle her mouthing off question but not the craziest thing I've read
if it was me that asked the question I would have felt attacked and from what I've read it's a young guy trying?.... I think a convo on consent would be good....
we have blanket consent he doesn't ask my permission to spank me...... but sometimes it's necessary and I appreciate it ....lol, after! (when he spanks me or sends me to to the corner 90% of the time, the first word out of my mouth is, no!) .
and we've built this relationship over many years, many trials and errors.... and a lot of trust!
but when a young guy comes in asking questions that's a good thing....a convo on consent would be great bc it is different for each couple and crucial .... I think it's difficult, especially in the beginning, to navigate how far do we take this... making rules, establishing consequences... learning how to be a good hoh... (which ultimately is what's best for you, me, us and our family)
Abuse, I take very seriously and I don't throw around lightly... it's worth learning more about someone before making such an accusation
I'd Appreciate a thread on what consent looks like for everyone!
Upon rereading (and I could be wrong) I believe there were comments on abuse of power but I don’t believe anyone directly said he was abusive. Again, I could be wrong.
A strong woman loving and respecting the amazing man that she loves Charlie.Ander1

User avatar
Sassyclouds
Posts: 139
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2018 2:20 pm
Location: USA

Re: Bra

Post by Sassyclouds » Mon Jan 20, 2020 2:36 pm

I just want to say 2 words. Back pain. Wearing a bra helps prevent my back from hurting. To be told not to wear a bra and that I would be punished for wearing it, because of being disobedient, would break my heart.

So, to the HOH asking this question, please talk to your wife, also her doctor, then think about the love you have for your wife. Is the "no bra rule" so important?
I had a marriage with DD. I definitely want that again, if I ever get married again. The closeness and secure feeling in DD was wonderful. The love and respect is amplified after a discipline spanking.... I miss it. I miss having an HOH to help me.

Goldilocks
Posts: 588
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2017 2:34 pm
Location: Ohio

Re: Bra

Post by Goldilocks » Mon Feb 03, 2020 10:35 am

Sassyclouds wrote:
Mon Jan 20, 2020 2:36 pm
I just want to say 2 words. Back pain. Wearing a bra helps prevent my back from hurting. To be told not to wear a bra and that I would be punished for wearing it, because of being disobedient, would break my heart.

So, to the HOH asking this question, please talk to your wife, also her doctor, then think about the love you have for your wife. Is the "no bra rule" so important?
🖒 it's a good thing to prioritize what's important. A bra is just a bra. There are many other ways of her discretely showing her submission than not wearing a bra. Especially if it bothers her so much not to.
Loving submissive wife to PapaBear.

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